Thursday, October 28, 2010

Send in the Pounds

I'm sorry, Judy Collins

Isn't it rich?
Chocolate éclair.
Sitting there right on my plate.
It’s so unfair,
That it raises the pounds.

Isn’t it bliss?
Maybe just one more bite.
Even though eating like this,
Put me in this plight?
I want to lose pounds.
Here come more pounds.

I thought I had stopped,
Thought I was strong.
Finally understanding what happens
When you eat wrong.

Snacking my stress again
With my usual snacks.
Sure is getting tight,
In the back of my slacks. 

Don't you love fudge?
I do, I fear.
I thought I’d wash it all down 
With a 6-pack of beer.

But where are the pounds?
Quick, send in the pounds.
Don’t bother… they’re here.
Ain’t it a b*tch?
Ain’t it a riot?
Losing my way again this
Late in my diet?

And where are the pounds?
There should be less pounds.
Well, maybe next week...



  1. You've absolutely ruined that lovely song for me, one of my favourites................ In other words, it's bloody good. You have so many talents Jack.

  2. I hate that song. You totally fixed it for me lol. Fudge and beer, that sounds awful!

  3. Haha I dont have any emotional atachments to the song so I loved it :D Strange though I imagined it like a duet. You dont sound that good in my head cos you are making fun of the whole thing. damn yoU! Sing it right!

  4. Aw man! Now I've got that song stuck in my head. Last time it was there for days!

    Good words tho. Vee at

  5. I think thats a song I'd just make fun of anyways...but I liked your version. There SHOULD be less pounds---FACT! :-D Have a great day Jack!

  6. Love Sondheim!
    I did this song last year
    but couldn't push "go"
    cus it was just too true!

    Good one, Jack!

  7. I love that song... very funny!!! I enjoyed the giggles.

  8. You are crazy. Love this. By the way, I also love my fudge with a six pack. Gracie

  9. I always hated that song because it was popular when I was a kid and I didn't understand WTH it was talking about. It weirded me out. Thanks for explaining the REAL meaning behind it!

  10. I've always loathed that song, but your version rocks!

  11. I literally sang it through with your lyrics (in my head)- much better than the original.

  12. I live for your "Weird Al" song re-makes... :)

    - Lisa

  13. You are SO the WEIRD AL for the 2010s
    can you sing?
    will there be a show at fitbloggin?!



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