Tuesday, October 26, 2010

At Home With Jack & Anita

For those just tuning in, Jack’s wife Anita recently suffered a detached retina in her only good eye and underwent emergency eye surgery. She’s currently wrapping up a weeklong recovery period where she must remain in bed on her side, completely blind. She’s also suffering the handicap of being married to Jack…

“Jack?” moaned Anita from the bed. “Can you get me some tea, please?”

“Just a minute,” I replied, tapping away on my laptop keyboard. “Let me finish this train of thought.”

“Last time you said that, I didn’t hear back from you for three hours.”

“What can I say?” I said, clacking away. “It was a long train.”

“Well,” sighed Anita. “What are you working on that’s so important?”

Cough blog cough…”

“You realize that you don’t get paid for that thing, don’t you?” she asked.

“Well,” I replied defensively. “Not in money…”

“What do you get paid in?”

“Ummm… ‘not money’… and plenty of it.”

“I just don’t see what you get out of all the work you put into it…”

“Ouch!” I gasped.

“What’s wrong?”

“Owwwww…” I grimaced. “Bit my lip.”

“How’d you…” started Anita. “O h, I know… you were gonna say ‘Well, you can’t see anything right now’”.

“No I wasn’t,” I declared innocently. “I was gonna say… okay, yes I was.”

“It’s a good thing you didn’t, Jack.”

“I know.”

“What do you get out of it, anyway?” she asked.

“I feel like I’m helping people, keeping their focus on their weight loss journey,” I replied. “Lightening their load a little. Providing some good, useful information.”

“Okay,” she said. “Read me what you wrote there.”

“Ummm,” I stammered. “Well, some posts are more informative than others.”

“What’s it called?” she demanded.

“Ummm… Jacksey Shore.”

“Oh no…” she sighed.

“By the way,” I said. “Could you start calling me The Sh*tuation from now on?”



  1. LOL!

    I've got a bet with my husband how many Jersey Shore tricker treaters we have this year..

  2. Hope Anita is doing well...BTW How long did it take to get her the tea?

  3. See, Anita's sense of bullshit detection is heighten from being briefly blind. I hope that she's back to looking you in the eye soon. Take good care of her.

    You help me!

  4. lol...too cute. Hope she's all better very soon.

  5. Oh my goodness! I hope Anita is well soon. I'd missed this. The Sh*tuation, indeed!

  6. LOL @ Fatty McButter Pants! I think we all leave this post feeling some deep empathy for Anita and wishing her a speedy recovery!!

  7. Jack, get your wife some tea, would you, and then come back and keep inspiring us ;-)
    Hope Anita is feeling better soon.

  8. Well I guess you have your Halloween costume all picked out, don't you?

  9. LOVE it! And you shall be known.... The Sh*tuation

  10. OMG....as always, your post made me laugh!!! You are truly hilarious!! I hope Anita (aka: Mrs. "Sh*tuation) is getting better every day.

  11. Love it mr sh*tuation! Hahahaha
    And I enjoy your blog :)
    Hope the wife is feeling better soon!

  12. omg!!...way too funny. Absolutely love the Sh*tuation :) Hope Anita's recovery goes well.

  13. HAHA! Are you gonna start showing off those abs all the time now too on day time talk shows? You betta get a spray tan ASAP Jack- I've been blinded by your white glow before! lol :) GET WELL SOON ANITA!

  14. LMAO! You sure do provide entertainment.

    Hope your wife feels better soon!

  15. You can only be the Sh*tuation if you have a six pack (and I don't mean beer, wiseguy). Send Anita my best wishes...and get her some tea!

  16. LOL!! The Shituation! You gotta get that hair-do: I dont know, I live in NY and I *think* they call it the "blow back"....not sure how well it would go with a goatee though. Or a shirt with sleeves...hehehe!! You have always helped me Jack :-)

  17. Jack get your butt in that kitchen and get that woman some tea mister!!!!!!! Boy I can't wait till your sick I'll have to give Anita some pointers on how to care for you lol.

  18. The Sh*tuation. Heh.

    I've seen more Jersey Shore than I care to admit, only with no sound. The 4 bikes at the gym are in front of the TV that plays MTV, and I'm convinced the channel has two shows - Teen Mom and Jersey Shore.

    Feel better Anita! :)

  19. While she's visually MIA, you should give here a Snooki coif.

  20. Ha, ha. I know a few Sh*tuations...

  21. i'm with heather on the snooki coif. besides, you could always loan her the googly eye glasses...

  22. Hope Anita is doing better. Take good care of her, Jack!

    Sh*tuation...love it.

  23. You are too much & hugs to your wife!

  24. I know I'm late to the party, but this totally tickled me!!!!! I'm all grins now~thanks for that! :)



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