Thursday, March 25, 2010

Mind Games

I firmly believe that 90% of this weight-loss business is mental, and that if you can win the battle with your brain, your chances of success are a great deal higher.

With that in mind, here are some mental “games” you can play to help keep you dialed in and focused on the task at hand…

  • When you’re at the gym, pretend that one of the other people there is a murderer. Ask questions to the people around you and see if you can guess who it is (hint: the murderer likes the treadmill).
  • Try e-a-t-i-n-g in s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n.
  • Whenever you’re in a restaurant, imagine disgruntled, low-paid employees are in the back spitting on your food (if it helps you, there probably really are disgruntled, low-paid employees in the back spitting on your food).
  • You = Godzilla. Baby carrots = screaming Asians.
  • Give yourself a point every time you don’t eat a corn chip.
  • You’ll get a better workout from a highly motivated personal trainer, so before your session, inform your PT that you just keyed up his or her car.
  • Think of yourself as a real-life Ms. Pac-Man; you should eat healthy food (like cherries) and go running every day (so ghosts don’t catch and kill you).
  • Every time you get an email, drink an 8 oz. glass of water.
  • Imagine that fresh ripe succulent fruit is something delicious instead.
  • Work out with your imaginary friend Sergio and his pet Chihuahua Miss Tizzy.
  • Run a mile every time you use a swear word.
  • It’s more exciting if you think of your salad as actually being in 3-D.

45 comments:

  1. If your brain can think it, you can be it.

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  2. I'll admit, sometimes when I'm craving something particularly "sinful", I'll pretend to myself that I already ate it. Nuts? Yeah, but it works sometimes...

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  3. Wow! I would float away on a sea of pee, thanks to my inbox.

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  4. I agree that most of this journey is mental. And sometimes it's essential to play mind games to some degree.
    Great list! :o)

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  5. "You = Godzilla. Baby carrots = screaming Asians." That's what my dog thinks. Baby carrots are his favorite.

    This was great, I love the email idea!

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  6. LOVE IT! If I had to runa mile with every swear word, I would have circled the globe by now! :-)

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  7. A mile for every swear word? Holy shit.

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  8. Wow, if I ran a mile for every swear word, I would never be home! lol Maybe I'll just have to pretend the ghosts are after me so I can get home faster! :P

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  9. I so agree that 90% is mental. I'm trying to make my brain help me out more. Thanks for the laugh today :)

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  10. Sergio and Miss Tizzy ARE real dammit!

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  11. The whole mile for every swear word or glass of water for every e-mail.... oh, I can just run to the bathroom over and over.

    Maybe it would be better to have a long stretch of road with port-a-johns along the way.

    Thanks for the good work this morning!

    Rob

    www.weighdownsouth.com

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  12. Oh Jack, you crack me up! You're right about this being a mind game. Where your head is at your ass will follow.

    Do I have to run a mile?

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  13. Oh my gosh! Where do you come up with this stuff? I love it!!

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  14. Love it!! On bad days I would really get those miles in!

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  15. 90% mental huh? I'm going to go with 94.2%!! :)

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  16. ooohhh 3-D salads...interesting! :)

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  17. In the short time I've been blogging I've written TWO posts on the efficacy of mind games. (thats how much I believe in them :)

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  18. Good one! Givin' you props over on the phat girl's blog!

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  19. I can't afford a PT so will that still work if I say it to a guy who's really in shape? :)

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  20. If I'm running everytime I swear, I'll be running a marathon before I know it.
    Wonderful post as usual, sir.

    =)

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  21. LOL@ Ms. Pacman and Godzilla! And how did you know about my friend Sergo?? lol

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  22. I LOVE the godzilla tip, I just may use that one!

    Also, I refuse to follow the damned run a mile per swear tip. I'd run myself dead...in a day. Because I'd be swearing with every step. lol

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  23. I am exhausted....ran 42 miles yesterday...lol.
    great job.
    And do i have to drink water with every email, or can I skip the 'come look at my titties' ones.
    Just a question.

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  24. Jack you are so right. the real battle is in your head. And the first step is to convince yourself you matter enough to put the effort in.

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  25. lol! you are so right, it is all mental.

    it's like starting to eat healthy to begin with - how many times do we say we are disgusted with ourselves and will start "the diet" on monday. monday comes, still eating too much crap. until your head is ready, you are not ready.

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  26. I get about 200 emails a day. If I drank 1600 ounces of water each day, I'm afraid my kidneys might explode!

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  27. I already have 47 points for the 47 corn chips I didn't eat. Yessssssssssss.

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  28. But, the human stomach can't hold a gallon of water at a time. And perhaps the real weimerheimer on my friends' treadmill would be jealous.

    Then again, maybe I'm thinking too much.

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  29. I'm imposing the swear word = mile thing on my husband. Then we can run together, since I will already be running away from ghosts.

    Thanks for your comments on my blog. I don't know how you find the time, but I sure do appreciate it.

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  30. Jack, I just discovered your blog and you are so motivating. Thanks for being so funny and honest in all of your posts. And congratulations on such a huge journey. I bet you feel amazing!!

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  31. I love this!! Especially the thought of being Godzilla over those carrots..

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  32. I just knew the psycho on the treadmill was the murderer! I bet he did it with the revolver in the ballroom.

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  33. I am Ms. Pac-Man. I am Ms. Pac-Man. I am Ms. Pac-Man.

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  34. Lots of drinking games come to mind. Drinking water games of course.

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  35. Sadly, there was a time when I didn't care if the kitchen workers defiled my food, even when the chances of that were very, very probable.

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  36. Glad I didn't read this earlier or I would have had to run 3 947 miles.

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  37. OMG, Jack, coming to your site every day is a guaranteed ab workout from the belly laughs!

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  38. I'm with you all the way when you say that losing weight is mental thing. For me it's mental warfare not a will power thing.

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  39. I love this post!! You're hilarious!

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  40. I love how you mix truth with humor (not that the two are mutually exclusive...). SO fun to read your posts. My favorite:

    You = Godzilla. Baby carrots = screaming Asians.

    Lol!

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