Thursday, April 29, 2010

I'm Sorry, Lady Gaga

video

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Distraught in my big fat pants.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Distraught in my big fat pants.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Rom-mah-rom-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
We've all had bad fat pants.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Rom-mah-rom-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
We've all had bad fat pants.

I was too chubby,
I was too portly.
I would eat everything.
Once ate potpourri.
I wanted food.
Food-food-food.
I wanted food.

I wanted drumsticks,
A touch of gravy.
I wanted something fried from KFC.
I wanted food.
Food-food-food.
I wanted food.

You know that I want health.
And you know that I need health.
Cuz I look so bad in my
Bad fat pants.

I want fitness,
And I want a new life.
You and me, we detest our big fat pants.
I want freedom,
I deserve a new life.
You and me, we despise our big fat pants.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Trapped in our fat pants.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Crapped in our fat pants.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Rom-mah-rom-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Let’s get outta those fat pants.

I stopped the horror
With a Blogger design.
Started writing
In a style that’s all mine.
I want to blog.
Blog-blog-blog.
I want to blog.

It may seem psycho,
My juvenile shtick.
I need to keep myself busy,
And this does the trick.
I love to blog.
Blog-blog-blog.
I love to blog.

You know that it’s not easy,
And you know it’s not quick.
To get outta these
Bad fat pants.

I want to exercise,
And I want to get fit.
You and me could get rid of our fat pants.
I want to work out,
And to quit eating sh*t.
You and me could get rid of our fat pants.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
I’m losing these big fat pants.


Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Tossin’ these big fat pants.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Rom-mah-rom-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Why, why big fat pants.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Rom-mah-rom-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Goodbye big fat pants.

Work-work workout baby.
Work it.
Man, those barbells are heavy.
Work-work faster, baby
Work it
Sez that trainer lady.
Work-work keep pumpin’, baby.
Work it.
I'm a sexy sumb*tch, baby.

I’ve got new purpose,
And I’ve got new ambition.
I’ve got new energy,
I don’t wanna be fat.

J'veux ton amour
et j'veux pommes de terre.
J'veux ton amour
I don’t wanna speak French.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
No fun in my big fat pants.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Done with my big fat pants.

I’ve got new purpose,
And I’ve got a new life.
You and me will live without fat pants.
I’ve got new energy,
All my life is renewed
You and me will live without fat pants.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Who needs big fat pants.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
Can’t believe I wore big fat pants.

Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah!
Rom-mah-rom-mum-mah!
GaGa-oo-la-la!
Let’s have no more fat pants.

42 comments:

  1. Brilliant! My favorite parody. But I'm used to watching Lady Ga while I'm on the treadmill and this has been on constant rotation for EVAH.

    Keep up the fabulous work, Jack. You've got to have such good things coming back to you as a result of all the good you do for the rest of us.

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  2. You ROCK!! I love this... I may steal it... but give YOU all the credit!!!!

    I have faith in you... you are such an inspiration...

    BTW: I am on Day 4 of Five Days of Giveaways... if you are interested... kinda catered to women though.

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  3. "I'm a sexy sumb*tch, baby" was the icing on the cake in that one, Mr. Sh*t. Or, um, should I say the dressing on the salad? The skim milk in the coffee? The fat-free whipped cream on the strawberries?

    No, definitely the icing on the cake.

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  4. i LOVE lady gaga! def the best parody i've seen out of you :)

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  5. Hil-friggin'-larious, Jack. I love it. Her video is usually on when I am lifting. Now, I am going to have a hard time concentrating because your take-off will be in my head.

    Aaron

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  6. It would be funny to see the Jack Sh*t Players do a little dance to this song!

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  7. OMG, you are crazy! BTW, how is that pelvis doing? :-)

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  8. I woke up a little blah today, but your parody turned that all around. *Fat pants* needs no translation: it's the universal language for all of us who have been anywhere from overweight to death fatz. Thanks for another smile to start my day!

    Love,
    Jill

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  9. Ha ha...just imagine Jack, people all over the world jiggling to Lady GaGa's 'Fat Pants' song! I wonder how many of us were singing along?

    I was..I got to this bit when I realised the post man was at the front door, and probably heard every word! Given that pants are undergarments in the UK he probably wondered what I was doing!

    Oh-oh-oh-oh-oooh!
    Oh-oh-oooh-oh-oh!
    I’m losing these big fat pants.

    Thanks for the laugh :)

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  10. I'll never hear this song the same way again... love this version so much more, and I'm a Lady Gaga fan! (Don't tell anyone!)
    I also never hear Depeche Mode's Just Can't Get Enough the way it should be.. It's a Viagra commercial in my head titled "Just Can't Get It Up" :-)

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  11. Jack, I may have to get permission to actually record some of these sometime. I think we could have some fun with Karaoke.

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  12. This is great!! As I'm just starting (again) my weight loss journey and also blogging as I go, this will become my theme song. Shoot you it should become the world's weight lose anthem!! Great work!

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  13. Once ate potpurri!

    Hahahahahaha. Once again, you have made my day.

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  14. Haha "I don't want to speak french". Fantastic
    Kate (english-speaker in Québec, Canada)

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  15. You never fail to make me smile! This was so funny.

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  16. Way to stay current Jack! lol SO funny! :)

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  17. Nothing better than losing the fat pants!!

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  18. Ah good one! I like Lady Gaga :)

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  19. I LOVE it! HAHAHA good job so funny :)

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  20. This demands a video to accompany the new version. The wardrobe changes should be a scream.

    I don't like French either.

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  21. I can't decide if you have way too much time on your hands, or I love you. Maybe both?

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  22. I know I'm a day late, and many dollars short, but "Shame on You, Jack" for making me think!!

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  23. I swear, my first thought was --- "My Porker Face"

    This was good, very nice!

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  24. heh, nice one. I'm sure I'll have that stuck in my head all day long now!

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  25. All I have to say...is U made my day!!!!!

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  26. Love this. It will so be stuck in my head all day.

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  27. This is freaking awesome! Yep it's going to be stuck in my head as well.

    Your simple yet sage advice:

    1. Eat good food,



    2. Eat it in appropriate portions,



    3. And move your body. 


    I is just so freaking right on.

    I am going to be back again and again.

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  28. My daughter's favorite song and as I begin my weight loss journey in earnest tomorrow it will also be mine. Thank you Jack!

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  29. I love this. Another one of your songs stuck in my head.

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  30. Waaay better than Lady GaGa's version! Just wanted to say sorry for not stopping by in so long! Have been struggling, but Im back in the race and NOT going on the outside lane (too close to the wall for my taste), besides..the inside lane leads to victory!

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  31. I think Slimmin' Sam is right. There is a recording studio calling for you. You could be the next Weird Al Yankovic for fitness.

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  32. Oh my god that was funny! Please please please keep blogging Jack! We need this!

    Cheers!

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  33. I saved your blog to read until last tonight.
    I'm glad I did.
    I really needed a good laugh to erase the stress tonight.

    Thanks, Jack.
    Glad you love to blog!

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