Monday, April 5, 2010

Advice for New Dieters

In the last few weeks, I seem to be getting quite a few emails from folks who are just getting started with their weight-loss journey.

So in the spirit of cooperation and helpfulness, I’ve pulled together a list of advice that I wish someone had been kind enough to share with me a year or so ago…
  • If you’re going to incorporate meal replacement bars into your diet, just eat one or two at a time, not seven or eight.
  • “Shin splints” are injuries to the front of the outer leg resulting from inflammation to the tendon, not equipment you ask for at the running shoe store.
  • It looks like more food if you use a smaller plate, so I use one of my daughter Pisa’s Barbie dishes.
  • You can make a delicious “Green Monster” smoothie by putting in some fresh spinach and/or green M&M’s.
  • Most personal trainers do not want to be paid in yarn.
  • A cheap way to make your own skim milk is to buy whole milk, pour half of it down the drain and fill it back up with water.
  • It’s important to eat four to six servings of fruit roll-ups every day.
  • Writing down what you eat can really be helpful on your journey, unless you write down nothing but “Milk Duds” and “Canned Frosting”.
  • You know what works as an appetite suppressant? Keeping a live hedgehog in your mouth all day.
  • Truth: it's a bad idea to skip breakfast. Myth: it's a bad idea to skip "second" breakfast.
  • Only swallow two-thirds of what you eat.
  • It’s important to drink a lot of water. I forget how much exactly, but I always just try to drink half an aquarium.
All kidding aside, nobody knows more than me than it's tough building up some momentum on this journey. Best of luck to anyone and everyone just getting started with their trek. It may seem tough now, but before long you'll have plenty to smile about.

x

41 comments:

  1. RAH RAH RAH to all the newbies out there. You can do it!!

    Happy Monday Jack!

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

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  2. Oh the skim milk one made me gag.

    It IS hard to get started, but it's just as hard to keep it up.

    Great post!

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  3. Hedgehog...not a bad idea. Might tickle in there...cute little thing.
    Nice post my friend,
    Sean

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  4. Ah, good advice. :P
    It is tough the first week/two weeks but then it just feels so good. :)

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  5. If I would of known of the green M&M's then I would have been better off along time ago!! Thanks for the advice.

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  6. Barbie dishes!LOL!!Loved the idea!

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  7. It's good advice for all dieters, because we tend to forget the basics.

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  8. slow down, I'm writing this all down!

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  9. Who better to ask than you Jack :-) Great tips, love the humour!

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  10. Damn - so now I know why I've been struggling!

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  11. When WW first went to the points system (13 years ago or so)I was a leader. The reason I stopped being a leader was I could not get people to understand that yes, they could spend their points on anything but they probably wouldn't lose weight if they wrote "down nothing but “Milk Duds” and “Canned Frosting”."

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  12. Half an aquarium is fine. Just make sure that you don't drink a whole aquarium or you'll get water poisoning or a manta ray stuck in your throat.

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  13. Excellent. The hedge hog thing really works for me!

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  14. "Only swallow two-thirds of what you eat."

    That made my brain hurt.

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  15. ah ha! I think by switching browsers i finally found a way to comment on your blog!!!

    thanks for your comments and not giving up on me! I have started re-reading your blog from day one (i know, i need a life) but its really helping me re-focus a bit at a time.

    thanks, alot.

    xo

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  16. i'm so glad that spring break is over and that my kids are back at school. i really needed those laughs to get my week started off right, thanks!

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  17. Okay, the hedgehog made me laugh pretty hard! Cute!

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  18. I try to drink a WHOLE aquarium, jeez jack....way to throw the newbies off, if they don't get enough water how will they ever nearly pee their pants on long walks? They won't, that's how.

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  19. I hope nobody follows this advice! :-) Well, that Barbie plate one might work! :-)

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  20. I LOL'd for realsies. Thanks Jack.

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  21. Thanks for your recent post on high fructose & diet ice cream. Because of it, I finally chucked the Skinny Cow. I be all organic now. :D

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  22. On a serious note, if there are any newbies out there you will really find a lot to smile about if you stick with it...

    I've had some hard days but mostly I'm smilin!

    Thanks Jack for the giggles!

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  23. lol! Half the aquarium indeed!

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  24. I was kinda grumpy because I'd had a bad week, and then I read this post, which really made me laugh. Especially the thing about the hedgehog. . . and the aquarium! Lol

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  25. So...if I follow this regimen I will only be 1/2 as constipated as usual. Also, I tried to drink half and aquarium but the hedgehog went down with it and was afraid of the fish.

    The fruit roll-ups came back to bark but the hedgehog did not. They came back because my stomach remembered it only has a 1-2 quart capacity.

    I'm thinking the fish and hedgehog chasing will help with my first problem. But I have to admit...I'm skeered.

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  26. You forgot the all-important rule of dieting: If you put hot sauce on it, it doesn't have calories. Or maybe that's just true in the south...

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  27. i am slowly understanding that writing down bad food doesnt make it go away

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  28. Eating apples is a healthy choice. Eating ten of them on one sitting is about eight apples too many.

    I may or may not speak from experience.

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  29. Thanks for another great post Jack!

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  30. Yeah, if I'm craving chocolate I'll just suck on it for three seconds and then spit it out.

    (Not really, but two points if anyone gets that reference!)

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  31. I am a newbie, and this post gave me a hearty chuckle. Thanks! :)

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  32. I'm pretty sure if it is healthy for you, that means you can eat more of it...

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  33. The more I read, the more I laugh. The more I laugh, the more my husband stares, the more he stares the harder I laugh, The harder I laugh the more he thinks I am losing my not so firm grip.

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  34. i'm a newbie! haha.
    its the first time that i'm reading your blog and i love it already!
    thanks alot! ^^

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