Friday, April 16, 2010

You Might Be a Fat-Neck…

I’m so, so sorry…

This post has no redeeming qualities. All I can do is tell you that I’m suffering from the worst case of the Spring sillies I’ve ever had. I try to maintain some semblance of balance on this blog, but lately I’m just a 24/7 goofball. I don’t know if it’s the warmer weather, that I’ve dropped a ton of weight or some combination of the two, but I seem to be wearing a perpetual grin.

I’ll get my act together soon and serious this space up a little, but for now the best thing is probably for me to just try to work it out of my system with the silliest stuff I can write…

  • If you can pinch an inch on your forehead, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you smoke turkeys after sex, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you are completely fluent in drive-thru speaker-speak, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If your favorite food is seconds, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If the back of your neck looks like a pack of hot dogs, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you get diagnosed with that flesh-eating disease and the doctor gives you twelve years to live, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you’ve got six different pizza places on speed-dial, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you put butter in your coffee, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you belong to “Hot Pockets Anonymous”, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If your favorite scent is tartar sauce, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you get on “The Little Engine That Could” and it says “Oh Hell No!”, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you’ve ever driven a car with a Filet-O-Fish in each hand, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If your kids use one of your dresses as a backyard tent, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If your necktie is only three inches long after you tie it, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you put mayonaise on your Lipitor, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If your shadow weighs over 100 pounds, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you say “Trick or Meatloaf” on Halloween, you might be a fat-neck.

  • If you’ve eaten a can of frosting since beginning to read this post, you might be a fat-neck.

22 comments:

  1. If you use the passenger seat's seatbelt while driving, you might be a fat neck.

    If you can start a forest fire with your chub-rub, you might be a fat neck.

    This is way too fun.

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

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  2. If your silhouette from your shoulders to the tip of your head is a triangle

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  3. All the articles very useful. Keep the spirit in writing!

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  4. I come here for sillies and BTW I have only have 3 pizza places on speed dial, so I'm ok.

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  5. "If you get diagnosed with that flesh-eating disease and the doctor gives you twelve years to live, you might be a fat-neck." LMAO!!!!!

    I'm happy to say that I don't identify with any of these "fat-neck" prerequisites. Phew. :)

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  6. That was funny. I rarely laugh out loud when I am at the computer, but this rang my bell.

    Frank

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  7. LMAO....omg I laughed so hard at this...I'm still laughing....I love your Spring silliness. :)

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  8. I often wonder how men (and women) can breathe when most of their neck is above their collars!

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  9. I know, I know... but, I still have something for you on my blog!

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  10. If you memorized the number to your favorite take out place...you might be a fat neck!

    So funny thanks for being silly!

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  11. Hah! I read this and the first thing I did, was pinch my forehead.

    Sadly, I use to have quite a few of these issues *eek*. But I'm safe now! YAY!

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  12. "the back of your neck looks like a pack of hot dogs" HAHAHA!

    OMG!! I just saw a fat neck at the grocery store!

    And Lois, so did I ;-)

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  13. LOL 1st time reading your blog and love it!!!

    You are doing such a great job keep it up.

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  14. I love your sillies! Laughter is good for our health!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  15. It's the frosting Jack. How the heck do you know?!

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  16. Glad you have the sillies! I needed the laugh!

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  17. You crack me up so much. Your posts are always so enlightening and entertaining. I simply love them.

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  18. If your favorite food is seconds...lmao..
    it used to be.

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  19. What a great way to begin the day .... laughing my head off at Jack Sh*t's silliness.

    Thanks.

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  20. You really need to write a book!!! I love it!

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