Saturday, January 16, 2010

What My Scale Might Say If It Could Talk

Welcome to "Same Old Sh*t" Saturday, where I show my sincere commitment to recycling by throwing up old posts for you to read while I'm off running errands. This has been a somewhat serious week around JSGF, what with the Onederland lovefest and all, so I thought I'd balance out the equalibrium by re-posting a stupid list that has no redeeming qualities other than it made me chuckle to read it again. Hope that goes the same for you...

  • “Get off! Get off! Get off!”
  • “Maybe you’re just retaining fat.”
  • “They say any loss is a good loss. How’s about -.00001 lbs.?”
  • “Here comes the pain!”
  • “Round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows.”
  • “When you lose, you take all the credit; when you gain, ya blame me!”
  • “Looks like you’ve got Dunlap’s Disease. Your belly’s done lapped over your belt.”
  • “Ummmmph!”
  • “On the moon, you’d only weigh 43 pounds.”
  • “Why don’t you try again… maybe it’ll be drastically lower.”
  • “And you thought nobody saw you eat those chips…”
  • “Good news: you’re still beating anorexia!”
  • “Does this number make you look fat?”
  • “Tippin’ is encouraged. Get it, get it? Tippin’ the scales… ah, you don’t know funny.”
  • “Are you a glutton for punishment or just a regular glutton?”
  • “For God’s sake–will you please put on some underwear?”
  • “Let’s say we just call it two hundred and plenty?”
  • “I’ve got an idea: today I’ll stand on you and call you a f*ckin’ b*tch.”
  • “Say, are you losing weight?


  1. That nail colour really suits you! :o)

  2. "Maybe you're just retaining fat"

    THIS will keep me laughing all day.

  3. love them all jack!

    oh and you expect me to still be your friend after calling me a fat cow?????

    ya ok, I'll be your friend :-)

    have a great weekend Jack!

  4. Dunlap Disease.

    I am laughing out loud!

  5. Thanks for the laughs, always a good start to the weekend!

  6. uuuuummmmphhhhh
    lmoa...(if only)
    second favorite
    hows about we say 2 hundred and plenty

  7. LOL'ing while my kid looks at me like I have 5 heads...

  8. ha ha the underwear one is by far the funniest one. Could you imagine the scale's point of view down there? LOL

  9. Ha! These are great, I totally think that someday I will hear my Wii Fit board say “Get off! Get off! Get off!”



  10. I don't know why, because you did mention mani/pedi for a reward for yourself, but I never took you as a toenail polish kind of guy. *grin*

  11. so funny! LOL thanks for giving me and my husband a good laugh!

  12. I can relate to all that! lol

    Check out my blog, i have something for you :o)

  13. “When you lose, you take all the credit; when you gain, ya blame me!” Too true!

  14. Hahaha! Thanks for bringing the scale to a new light.

  15. Well I have just stumbled across you blog Jack and you are a crack up....keep up the great work...Khris in Oz



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