Friday, January 29, 2010

Holy Sh*t… More Fitness Center Conversation Starters

  • “Shhhhh, there’s the personal trainer. Pretend like you’re exercising…”
  • “Do you know if they have any lighter weights that look like heavier weights?”
  • “Excuse me, do you believe in magic?”
  • “IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME, SPEAK LOUDLY BECAUSE I’M WEARING EARPHONES.”
  • “I’m working on making my muscles more bumpy.”
  • “Do you think that lady over there is pulling one of those ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ deals?”
  • “I’m training to be a circus strongman!”
  • “If I don’t… finish this set… the terrorists win…”
  • “Y’know what would be awesome… a karoke spin class.”
  • “Why oh why did I ever buy a steel-wool jockstrap?”
  • “Wow, I accidentally filled my water bottled with maynaisse.”
  • “Did you know that if they took out your lungs and stretched them out, they could cover a tennis court?”
  • “My prison bitch nickname is "Queer Johnny”.
  • “Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off? Waitaminute… I’m sorry, that’s one of my bar pick-up lines…”
  • “I have an idea for a game show called ‘Who Wants to Be a Treamillionaire?’”
  • “Aiiiiiyyyyyy… I’m sweating!”

32 comments:

  1. Love the karaoke spin class idea! ;o)

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  2. lord man, you make me feel so boring!

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  3. water bottle filled with Mayo - YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!

    I like the other ones though!
    Have a great weekend Jack!

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  4. I used to hear, "Did you just become a member?"

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  5. I may have to keep some of these in mind. I really like the “Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off? Waitaminute… I’m sorry, that’s one of my bar pick-up lines…”

    Sounds like something some men I have ran into would say...

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  6. I'm going to use the "terrorist" line to get through my workouts from now on. :D

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  7. I just wanted to see my name in the comments, I have nothing to say.

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  8. While showing off my flabby abs: "Better call the vet because these puppies are SICK!" LOL

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  9. The thought of stealing a few of these lines almost makes me want to go to the gym. Almost.

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  10. Karaoke spin class could be fun!!!

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  11. Thank you. Needed the chuckle this morning.

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  12. How did you get your prison bitch nickname, Jack? LOL Funny as always, thanks for the laugh!

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  13. "I’m working on making my muscles more bumpy.”

    You and me both buddy :)

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  14. Ha! I'm also so in for karaoke spin class

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  15. When do you think of this sh*t?

    How about: I must have walked through the wrong door, where are the free peanuts?

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  16. Lighter weights that look like heavier weights? Bwahahahah!

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  17. I like the terrorist one! LOL!

    The Anti-Jared's comment made me laugh, too! :o)

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  18. I want to laugh about a sports bottle filled with mayo but my involuntary gag reflex won't allow it. :(

    Very clever, per usual!

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  19. “IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME, SPEAK LOUDLY BECAUSE I’M WEARING EARPHONES.”

    My earphones say: Don't talk to me while I am working out! :-)

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  20. I love the karaoke spin class, too!! Hmmmm...maybe I should suggest it Monday evening!

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  21. “If I don’t… finish this set… the terrorists win…”

    ha ha!!!! Cracks me up! Reminds me of Jack Baur ala 24. You know everything is so immediate and dangerous on the show. Just like at the gym.

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  22. prison bitch? OMG! that one made me spit on my laptop screen!

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  23. “Y’know what would be awesome… a karoke spin class.”

    So that was really funny because one of my spin instructors said he used to teach in New York City and they had something basically like this. They would play popular music that everyone knew, and they'd go down the line, taking turns singing the different parts. Frankly, I can barely breathe during spinning, so I can't imagine *singing*.

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  24. “IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME, SPEAK LOUDLY BECAUSE I’M WEARING EARPHONES.”

    LMAO...
    My goodness, there is this guy at my gym who watches fox news with headphones on, and apparently things that the words that pass his lips when his head phones are on aren't words anyone.else.can.hear.
    He YELLS at the television.
    partially amusing..
    Partially annoying.
    Now from here on out..just amusing.

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  25. Huh. I fill my water bottle with vodka....you're telling me I should be using mayonnaise?

    I have been known to go to the gym with my dead iPod just so I have earphones to put in so no one will talk to me.

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  26. Dude - this machine ate my smart-ass comment about being a prison biotch...
    *sniffles*
    And I SO wanted to brag...

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  27. Really? I'm the only one who liked the steel wool jockstrap?

    Love these.

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  28. Loved the first one. I can just imagine people acting like they're in an elementary class pretending to do things when the teacher is around. Very funny. =D

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