Friday, January 8, 2010

More Weight-Loss Nursery Rhymes

The Wise Old Owl
A wise old owl blogged ‘bout his weight.
The more he wrote, the less he ate.
The less he ate, the more losses occurred.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

Baa Baa Fat Sheep
Baa baa fat sheep,
Have you any determination?
No sir, no sir,
Need some motivation.
Some to make me eat less,
And some to make me move,
And some from all the blogs
That keep me in my groove.
Baa baa fat sheep,
Have you any will?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Now I’m made of steel.

Georgie Pudgie
Georgie Pudgie, pudding and pie,
Ate all the time and didn’t know why.
Ate all his pain, and boredom and strife.
Georgie Pudgie ate his life.

Pop Goes the L-Bs
Half a pound’s a very good job.
Half a pound’s no fail.
That's the way the weigh-in goes.
Down! Goes the scale.
Working hard is really hard work,
But you can prevail.
That's the way the weigh-in goes,
Down! Goes the scale.

Hey Diddle Diddle
Hey diddle diddle,
Too much in the middle,
You blew up just like a balloon.
Being more fit is way much more fun.
Now get moving and put down that spoon!

Healthy-boy Jickory Jack
Healthy-boy Jickory Jack,
He wants a healthy snack.
The clock struck three,
Raw almonds, green tea.
Healthy-boy Jickory Jack

Little Boy You
Little boy you, come blog your journey.
Be you housewife, mechanic, doc or attorney.
Where you live is not the big question.
Fill us in on your progression.
Will you give up? No, not you.
Just do the best that you can do.

Little Jack Sh*tter
Little Jack Sh*tter
Goofs off on Twitter,
Tweeting for all that he’s worth.
They may be dumb,
But I’ll tell ya, chum.
It helps him to fight off his girth.

Monday’s Meal
Monday's meal is full of fat.
Tuesday's meal is more of that.
Wednesday's meal is indefensible.
Thursday’s meal much more sensible.
Friday's meal is 1500 calories at most.
Saturday’s meal is melba toast.
And then it comes down to weigh-in day…
Why didn’t I lose weight today?

39 comments:

  1. Awesome! I think Georgie Pudgie sums it up for me!

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  2. LOL! I can't choose which one I love more!?! :)

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  3. That's me Genny Pudgie! Thanks Jack Sh*tter!

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  4. I love it.. They were all to funny!

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  5. Ah Georgie Porgie meets Little Boy YOU!

    Once again........HILARIOUS!

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  6. You rocked it again, Healthy boy Jickory Jack!

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  7. Little Jack Sh*tter actually made me guffaw. Yep. A real guffaw.

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  8. I have a 9-month-old daughter who loves nursery rhymes... I'm sure she'd chuckle at these as well. I particularly love Hey Diddle Diddle. :o)

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  9. Yea Jack, you rock the nursery rimes. LOL :) I was disappointed I didn't get to see "What are little girls made of?" so I decided to help you out with that one.

    What Are Anonymous Fat Girls Made of?
    What Are Anonymous Fat Girls Made of?
    tears and no fears,
    fat and sweat,
    And all that's not kept;
    What Are Anonymous Fat Girls Made of?

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  10. It took me a minute of staring to figure out figure out the L-Bs in Pop Goes the L-Bs where....thank the Lord it's Friday, my brain's gone mushy (maybe I should eat some more brussel sprouts to replenish).

    Have a good weekend!

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  11. i love it!
    just call me black sheep!

    xo

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  12. The Wise Old Owl is my fav.. well done Jack

    ETL

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  13. Ha! These are great Jack. "Monday's Meal" - ya... 'nuff said!

    LOL

    Julia
    http://jewliagoulia.blogspot.com

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  14. I'm Diddle-Diddle and big in the middle. These were funny Jack!

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  15. I shared this one with EVERYONE I know *S*

    Jack you are "one wild and crazy guy" and so very much a great motivator!!!

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  16. Man, those hits just keep on comin'. Another day off to a wonderful start for me. Thanks.

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  17. georgie pudgie....sums me up.
    right.on.target.
    love the weigh in
    mondays meal lol.
    then ending with melba toast.
    These were awesome.

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  18. I like the Twitter one, there's a moral there.
    Now I just hope I don't recite these nursery rhymes to my DGD today!

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  19. Those are great, thanks for sharing! It's nice to inject a little humor into all this serious weight loss business.

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  20. Great! Thanks Jack you really cheered me up!

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  21. The original version of nursery rhymes revealed!

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  22. Yep...my favorite is Georgie Pudgie.

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  23. I Love'em all Jack. They just cracked me up.

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  24. Your nursery rhymes rock. Love the previous post about the car, too. Hope you have a great weigh-in this Sunday. :)

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  25. Really cool. I wonder about what was in that Monday meal. :)

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  26. Jack, Jack just like old times...
    With out the "old!"
    It's a brand new day, eh?

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  27. Thank You! That post just inspired me to lose weight.

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  28. Hey there, new reader here.

    Ummmm do you mind if I borrow your rhymes(giving you full kuddos of course)?

    Me and a bunch of crazy gals have started a bit of a challenge loseitbitches.blogspot.com and they would absolutely LOVE this.

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  29. They are great! You could write a book based on looking at weight loss in a humorous light :o)

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  30. okay, double dip....and what I meant to say is that silly little georgie pudgy dittie was touching.
    that's right Jack...you were inadvertantly sweet.

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  31. Sooooo funny! Better to laugh at ourselves than to feel blue! You really should write a book! I'd be the first in line!

    Thanks so much for the good advice you posted on my blog! Tomorrow I post my weight! (Yikes!)

    -B
    http://diaryofasoontobeskinnygirl.blogspot.com

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  32. I don't know what you do right now, but you should be a TV comedy writer - SNL would hire you in a heart-beat! You just keep them coming...

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  33. Thanks for a great laugh! You're positive attitude really rubs off. You make losing weight fun!

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