Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Confush*t Say...


Confush*t say...

…person who can’t throw food away doesn’t mind it going to waist.
…person who dislikes being stuck on plateau doesn’t care for flattery.
…person who can always find the liquor bottle has a “fifth” sense.
…people who shows distain for bread and pasta is carb-berater.
...person who sneak donuts is showing his true crullers.
…person who drink too many cocktails should only expect martini-tiny losses.
…person who is too obese but wants to play basketball should remember wide men can’t jump.
…person who seeks to eat more veggies will find them turnip eventually.
...person who consume too much sodium get a-salted on scale.
...person who goes to Starbucks all the time doesn't know how to espresso themselves.
...person who can't do without chocolate is livin' la vida cocoa.
…person who owns up to their flatulence is a frank-farter.
...person who gives pizza a chance wind up going to war with scale.
...person who doesn't eat vegetables will find it's parsley his own fault.
…person who waits for golden opportunity to lose weight may find it never pans out.
…person who reads Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit every day is very defacated reader.


Confush*t believes that rich foods are like destiny. They, too, shape our ends.

Confush*t's motto:
Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff
or stuff the cheesy puffs.


29 comments:

  1. Very funny! Thanks for starting my day with a laugh:)

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  2. you're so freakin' clever :)

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  3. You know what, I appreciate your food wisdom!

    Secretia

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  4. it would appear that I'm a very defacated reader.

    it would also appear that I cannot eat or drink while reading your posts, your blog should come with a warning :-)

    Thanks for the chuckle Jack!
    oh and p.s. stay away from my scale or someone may get hurt :-)

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  5. Confush*t is a wise mofo. "Wide Men Can't Jump" is my favorite movie of all time. It's a B Film from Sundance (not very popular) but it features a bunch of 300+ pound dudes hooping it up to try and save the ghetto because all of the athletes in the neighborhood have the swine flu. Really, it's a nice film... Oh yeah, and another great post.

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  6. You absolutely have to write a book. You are one funny and talented dude, not to mention a fantastic life coach and motivator, not to mention wise. You must have your kids laughing all the time. Thanks for yet another great laugh. This one I'll read to my hubby!

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  7. Livin' la vida cocoa.....seriously I'm going to be repeating this one all day...Made my morning yet again!

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  8. Too much & that last blurb.. OMG! As for the main part of the post, not going to tell you which part I felt an affinity too but I think I heard something tooting! :-)

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  9. You must eat a lot of Ch*nese food to have so many fo*tunes.

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  10. I love the last line! To true.

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  11. ROFL! Thank you so much for bringing humor into this whole weight loss thing. Sometimes it's so difficult but being able to laugh about it make it bearable.

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  12. me: guilty as a very defacated reader.

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  13. Wonderful, as usual. I'm still laughing.

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  14. I too am a very defacated reader! Love this as always!

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  15. You're such a weirdo. . . what does that say about me since I tune in everyday to read your blog?

    ;/

    Julia
    http://jewliagoulia.blogspot.com

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  16. So I'm a defecated reader, huh? Well of all the things...

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  17. I've always wanted to be a defecated reader. And all I had to do was come here! You're funny!

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  18. I just love reading a Confush*t post. Never fails to make my day!

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