Saturday, January 9, 2010

Regrettable Comments I’ve Left on Weight Loss Blogs

Welcome to "Same Old Sh*t" Saturday, where I serve low-fat rehash. One of the good things about having such a crappy short-term memory is that when I go back and read some of these older posts, I don't remember them. This one made me snicker a bit, mostly because I have a bad tendency to comment on other people's blogs with the first thing that comes to my head. It's not always the smartest of moves...

Have you ever left a comment on somebody’s weight loss blog, and then immediately thought “Oh, maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say?” And then you were going to erase it and write something more sensible, but then your daughter Pisa calls you at the office and tells you to bring home popsicle sticks for a project she’s working on so you gotta spend the rest of the day eating popsicles even when you’re not really that hungry and the Popsicle Dude only had lime popsicles after you chased him all the way down the street yelling “Whoa! Stop! Popsicle Dude!” Yeah, me too.

  • “You’ve come a long way, Fatty.”
  • “Maybe your mom hates you.”
  • “Your kid sure is funny-looking.”
  • “If anything, it looks like you’ve gained weight.”
  • “Maybe they fired you because you were incompetent.”
  • “That haircut is hideous.”
  • “Wow, your daughter’s smokin’. What’s her email address?”
  • “That dish looks like somebody threw up on a plate.”
  • “Jesus… just give up already.”
  • “Maybe he hasn’t called because he’s been in a car accident.”
  • “Just do everything your husband says and your marriage will be fine.”
  • “Have you ever heard of “spelcheck,” stupid?
  • “I lose more than that when I break wind.”
  • “Will you please quit talking about “losing a stone”? I don’t even know what that means…”
  • “Who designed your blog… a sea-sick chimpanzee?”
  • “You deserve a reward. How about a pan of warm brownies and a glass of whole milk?”
  • “Gain because of TOM? Riiiiiiiiiiiight.”
  • “LOL at your cancer story.”
Now be sure and leave me a comment today... but think about it before you do.

Note: The thing that made me laugh most when I reread this was the comment section, where a couple of people informed me that you can buy popscicle sticks at the craft store and I replied, "Yes, yes, yes... I'm aware you can buy popsicle sticks at a craft store, but they come in packs of 50 and she only needed 15 or so. How stupid would it have been to buy a whole pack and have all those leftover sticks? Think, people. Think!"

x

36 comments:

  1. “Wow, your daughter’s smokin’. What’s her email address?”

    Did you ACTUALLY write that sh*t? I love you more and more every time I read this sh*tty blog! ;) (Did I just write that?)

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  2. Humor is the best medicine. Every day I read your blog I LMFAO. So thank you. Even though my husband looks at me like I'm on crack when I'm reading.

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  3. Yep, quite a few of those you *could* have left on my blog... I'm very ashamed to admit that probably the sickest one was the one that made me laugh the most... :o(

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  4. Dude, seriously? lol
    I've thought about leaving something like some of those.
    TOM is a real reason. A woman carries more water weight/retention at that time, and sometimes at ovalation. Up to a kilo of weight in fact. So there :oÞ

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  5. Jack, Jack, Jack (shaking my bowed head....)What are we gonna do with you? lol

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  6. Um Jack? What the hell did you put in your coffee this morning? LOLOL

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  7. you are one funny man Jack :-)

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  8. Oh Lawdy that was funny. "LOL at your cancer story."

    You are such a dork, which means I have a total crush on you!

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  9. LOL at your cancer story....

    I would so do that....because I get all nervous and shit and lose my brain/mouth filter when confronted with other people's hardships.

    Yeah, smiling and nodding your head while a coworker regales you with the tale of her husbands heart attack...probably not a good idea.

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  10. Jack, you are nuts. I'm cool with you being nuts though because you make me laugh. Not like LOL laugh, more like fall off my chair/pee in my pants laugh.

    Thank you for providing me with so many future TMI Thursday posts!

    Julia
    http://jewliagoulia.blogspot.com

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  11. Jack...I so respect your blogging and hold you out as a gold-standard so I know that this was really a humorous simulation of posts that we probably thought, but never typed.

    One response that comes to mind is "Sucks for you!"

    You are one of my blogging mentors!

    Kyle
    Getting Better and Better
    kgershman.blogspot.com

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  12. The crafts always turn out so much better with the used popsicle sticks anyway because they have the dye from the popsicle stained on them still and it's so much more colorful . . . LOL!

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  13. hmm, I think I could add a few that you left for me, like, oh, "I think you have insomnia because you're not getting enough sleep"

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  14. You're silly, Jack. But it's a good thing. :p

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  15. still good! the second time around! you crack me up!

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  16. “I lose more than that when I break wind.”

    Hysterical. I sharted.

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  17. Do you know how much cool stuff you could have on your desk should you get 50 popsicle sticks? (spoken from a teacher, once of 2nd graders)

    And I've only left one comment I regretted, but not really. I overthink things. :)

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  18. Always too funny! The scary part is that sometimes we do want to say these things!!!

    I have not left a note I don't want to BUT I notice that it sounds different than I meant!

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  19. OH my, you are too funny! I think I've been pretty good at saying what I want to say to people on their posts. My trouble is that sometimes, people read me wrong :)

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  20. lol...those comments are hilarious!

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  21. oh Jack.. i think Same ole sh*t Saturdays are my fav. :)

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  22. Long time reader, first time typist....

    I noticed your before and after pictures.

    Just wondering if ingesting off brand Windex will work as well in the weight lose arena?

    Or is it more of a "wax on wax off" exercise that goes with it.

    Two in one... I think this is great.

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  23. Is it a victory or a bad sign when someone sharts reading your blog?

    (NOT ME! I don't do that sort of thing of course. Big Clyde I mean).

    Jack, I'm holding the door open to Onederland, come on in!

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  24. "Maybe your mom hates you..." Hahaha, that is terrible. (But I loved it!)

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  25. If you had to run down the street to catch the popcicle guy then you most likely burned off all the calories that you would've gained by eating them had you not run to catch him.

    Any typos? Run on? Hell yes - don't give a sh*t!

    Fab blog loser....ummm as in weight loser....

    Dual Mom...few commentors up sent me your way. Glad she did!

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  26. I missed this the first time... thanks for the re-post!

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  27. I distinctly remember you leaving a comment about How I would love a song called fireflies by owl something or other...on opposite day.
    Pretty funny.
    Oh, and by the way...the only reason those are bad comments is because they are toohonest.
    I have wanted to scream "Oh, just give up already" a couple of times...
    well, everything but that whole cancer lol thing.
    That's just wrong.

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  28. At least it was only comments in blogs, if you made that second to the last comment in real life, YOU would lose a "stone", or maybe two of them!

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  29. This was to funny!! I needed a laugh. I know now not to use the TOM...lol

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  30. Btw who did design your blog? lol

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  31. I loved the get into my pants comment you left me once lol

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  32. You are awesome man! Love your blog.

    Sara

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