Regrettable Comments I’ve Left on Weight Loss Blogs

Welcome to "Same Old Sh*t" Saturday, where I serve low-fat rehash. One of the good things about having such a crappy short-term memory is that when I go back and read some of these older posts, I don't remember them. This one made me snicker a bit, mostly because I have a bad tendency to comment on other people's blogs with the first thing that comes to my head. It's not always the smartest of moves...

Have you ever left a comment on somebody’s weight loss blog, and then immediately thought “Oh, maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say?” And then you were going to erase it and write something more sensible, but then your daughter Pisa calls you at the office and tells you to bring home popsicle sticks for a project she’s working on so you gotta spend the rest of the day eating popsicles even when you’re not really that hungry and the Popsicle Dude only had lime popsicles after you chased him all the way down the street yelling “Whoa! Stop! Popsicle Dude!” Yeah, me too.

• “You’ve come a long way, Fatty.”
• “Maybe your mom hates you.”
• “Your kid sure is funny-looking.”
• “If anything, it looks like you’ve gained weight.”
• “Maybe they fired you because you were incompetent.”
• “That haircut is hideous.”
• “Wow, your daughter’s smokin’. What’s her email address?”
• “That dish looks like somebody threw up on a plate.”
• “Jesus… just give up already.”
• “Maybe he hasn’t called because he’s been in a car accident.”
• “Just do everything your husband says and your marriage will be fine.”
• “Have you ever heard of “spelcheck,” stupid?
• “I lose more than that when I break wind.”
• “Will you please quit talking about “losing a stone”? I don’t even know what that means…”
• “Who designed your blog… a sea-sick chimpanzee?”
• “You deserve a reward. How about a pan of warm brownies and a glass of whole milk?”
• “Gain because of TOM? Riiiiiiiiiiiight.”
• “LOL at your cancer story.”

Now be sure and leave me a comment today... but think about it before you do.

Note: The thing that made me laugh most when I reread this was the comment section, where a couple of people informed me that you can buy popscicle sticks at the craft store and I replied, "Yes, yes, yes... I'm aware you can buy popsicle sticks at a craft store, but they come in packs of 50 and she only needed 15 or so. How stupid would it have been to buy a whole pack and have all those leftover sticks? Think, people. Think!"

x

Still More Regrettable Comments I’ve Left on Weight Loss Blogs

• “Honey, you put the ‘moo’ in ‘mumu’.”
• “Stranger things have happened. Hey, I dated my first cousin for two years.”
• “I’ve going to be honest with you: you’re ugly.”
• “Welcome to Fatville. Population: You.”
• “Do what I do: steal office supplies and sell them on Ebay.”
• “Well, it’s obvious to me your son is gay.”
• “VISA 0045875893838430 Expires 7/10. Security code 424.”
• “Your stupid.”
• “Well, as it says in the Bible, ‘Show me the money!’”
• “Next time, why don’t you try ordering the McCelery?”
• “I’m not going to sugar-coat my comments, because then you’d probably lick the computer screen and short the whole thing out.”
• “Don’t worry about it. Some women find impotence to be a real turn-on.”
• “What you need to do is just calm down, take a deep breath and relax. Plus, shut the f*ck up.”
• “10,000 calories a day sounds about right…”
• “Maybe your husband is just a lot smarter than you.”
• “I’m just gonna type “dumbass x 12” to save myself some typing…”
• “If you feel chest pains while you're working out, you know you're on the right track.”
• “That last comment I made was supposed to be ‘anonymous’.”
• “They say if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. So, about your picture: ___________________________________.”
• “ROTFLMAO at your pain and suffering.”
• “If you can’t beat ‘em, out eat ‘em.”
• “Yes, cannibalism is ‘wrong’, but all I’m saying is I have some really tasty recipes if you want ‘em.”