Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Still More Regrettable Comments I’ve Left on Weight Loss Blogs

  • “Honey, you put the ‘moo’ in ‘mumu’.”
  • “Stranger things have happened. Hey, I dated my first cousin for two years.”
  • “I’ve going to be honest with you: you’re ugly.”
  • “Welcome to Fatville. Population: You.”
  • “Do what I do: steal office supplies and sell them on Ebay.”
  • “Well, it’s obvious to me your son is gay.”
  • “VISA 0045875893838430 Expires 7/10. Security code 424.”
  • “Your stupid.”
  • “Well, as it says in the Bible, ‘Show me the money!’”
  • “Next time, why don’t you try ordering the McCelery?”
  • “I’m not going to sugar-coat my comments, because then you’d probably lick the computer screen and short the whole thing out.”
  • “Don’t worry about it. Some women find impotence to be a real turn-on.”
  • “What you need to do is just calm down, take a deep breath and relax. Plus, shut the f*ck up.”
  • “10,000 calories a day sounds about right…”
  • “Maybe your husband is just a lot smarter than you.”
  • “I’m just gonna type “dumbass x 12” to save myself some typing…”
  • “If you feel chest pains while you're working out, you know you're on the right track.”
  • “That last comment I made was supposed to be ‘anonymous’.”
  • “They say if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. So, about your picture: ___________________________________.”
  • “ROTFLMAO at your pain and suffering.”
  • “If you can’t beat ‘em, out eat ‘em.”
  • “Yes, cannibalism is ‘wrong’, but all I’m saying is I have some really tasty recipes if you want ‘em.”

40 comments:

  1. How's about, "It's so cute how you think you've got it all figured out."

    Had me laughing out loud again, Jack. Keep up the good work!

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  2. I love your comments. Haha. My mom isn't a huge fan of them though, her sense of humor is a bit different. hehe.

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  3. Your stupid. My total favorite.

    But I can't help but notice nothing you've ever said to me is on this list. Which I guess means you don't consider any of them regrettable? Hmmm . . .

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  4. Thanks for the laugh! I knew if I started my day with alittle Jack Shit my day would be better. But better then what, that's the question.

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  5. These are hilarious! I became a follower of your blog yesterday but have been reading for a while. It's always entertaining. Thank you!

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  6. “Your stupid.”

    How much you wanna bet only a handful of people catch that one? Grammar nerds, unite :)

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  7. “Well, it’s obvious to me your son is gay.”

    I had to stop reading a blog completely...before I just couldn't control myself.

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  8. Those are comments that I would like to leave on some blogs....just sayin!

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  9. Goodyear called - they want their tire back.

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  10. I wonder how many people will understand the "Your stupid" one... Thanks for the morning laugh.

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  11. "Your stupid" - classic! I'm going to try a few of these at Thanksgiving. It's time to mix things up a little.

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  12. With these comments, you make real blogging seem so dull and lifeless by comparison.

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  13. Hahahaha! Thanks for the morning giggle. Your stupid indeed. =)

    How about "Starting over again...hmmm...is this time 20 or 21 this year?" (I'm guilty of this too but still...)

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  14. Funny, funny, funny. As usual, I've begun my online day with a roaring laugh.

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  15. but Jack.. the thing is.. you never have, nor would say any of these things.. Your just playing a tough guy who can't hide his wonderful kind heart. :)

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  16. I gave my acceptance speech come ode to jack yesterday.

    oh and I liked....
    As it says in the bible "show me the money'.

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  17. You are too much.. sometimes we think things we want to say but we know.. NOT!

    Since I am a weights fanatic, mine are all about, "what are you looking at in that mirror" type stuff. I am not going to publish but what is with all that looking.. it only takes one look, not a pace back & forth the whole length of the weight room!

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  18. Very funny!
    You sure we shouldn't say some of that stuff?

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  19. "That looks like crap on a plate" is still my favorite!

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  20. LOL @ “Do what I do: steal office supplies and sell them on Ebay.” Sounds like a good idea.

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  21. McCelery - someone should alert McDs that they are totally missing out on a new product. I'm sure they could find a way to inject hundreds of fat & calories into it somehow. ;)

    "Your stupid"
    Ahhhhh, love it. Right up there with "I need to loose weight"
    I don't need to loosen it up - just get it freakin' gone.

    Thanks for the laugh!

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  22. Very funny Jack. You forgot, "Hey, your "after" looks just like my "before!"

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  23. How about this line? Stolen from Gomer Pyle, USMC...

    "Wow! You sure don't sweat much for a fat girl!"

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  24. Hey Dude. that Credit Card # was declined. WTH?

    -jafg

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  25. lmao...I swear, I don't think your brain ever slows down...I bet you come up with half of this stuff in your sleep! :)

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  26. I love your comments Jack! sometimes they leave me speachless but for the most part I welcome them :0)

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  27. these are all great, but the last "bad comment" post had the classic "why don't dont you just give up already?" lol. absolute hilarity!

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  28. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  29. It's You ARE stupid, so it would be You're stupid, not your stupid. Unless someone owns a stupid.

    ;-)

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  30. (Just in case someone didn't get that one.)

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  31. Catching up on blogs so just read "Do Not Go Gentle into That Bad Weight"

    Absolutely hit home. One of your best

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  32. My last comment was supposed to be anonymous.


    LMAO Love it.

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  33. I really shouldn't be snorting this much right before bedtime! Found your blog though and couldn't help myself. It's a wonder I didn't short out my keyboard.

    Laughing is the best exercise.

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  34. I actually think you've left me a couple of those before ....
    Not cool, Jack.

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  35. good stuff.
    now i just have to start saying them...

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  36. No, your stupid!

    That was so hard to type! ;)

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  37. LMAO at the McCelery....

    Okay so I happened upon you through another blogger and I'm SOOOO glad I did!!!

    Now my co workers think I'm kinda strange laughing like a fool for no reason (for them)

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