Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Still More Regrettable Comments I’ve Left on Weight Loss Blogs

  • “Honey, you put the ‘moo’ in ‘mumu’.”
  • “Stranger things have happened. Hey, I dated my first cousin for two years.”
  • “I’ve going to be honest with you: you’re ugly.”
  • “Welcome to Fatville. Population: You.”
  • “Do what I do: steal office supplies and sell them on Ebay.”
  • “Well, it’s obvious to me your son is gay.”
  • “VISA 0045875893838430 Expires 7/10. Security code 424.”
  • “Your stupid.”
  • “Well, as it says in the Bible, ‘Show me the money!’”
  • “Next time, why don’t you try ordering the McCelery?”
  • “I’m not going to sugar-coat my comments, because then you’d probably lick the computer screen and short the whole thing out.”
  • “Don’t worry about it. Some women find impotence to be a real turn-on.”
  • “What you need to do is just calm down, take a deep breath and relax. Plus, shut the f*ck up.”
  • “10,000 calories a day sounds about right…”
  • “Maybe your husband is just a lot smarter than you.”
  • “I’m just gonna type “dumbass x 12” to save myself some typing…”
  • “If you feel chest pains while you're working out, you know you're on the right track.”
  • “That last comment I made was supposed to be ‘anonymous’.”
  • “They say if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. So, about your picture: ___________________________________.”
  • “ROTFLMAO at your pain and suffering.”
  • “If you can’t beat ‘em, out eat ‘em.”
  • “Yes, cannibalism is ‘wrong’, but all I’m saying is I have some really tasty recipes if you want ‘em.”


  1. How's about, "It's so cute how you think you've got it all figured out."

    Had me laughing out loud again, Jack. Keep up the good work!

  2. I love your comments. Haha. My mom isn't a huge fan of them though, her sense of humor is a bit different. hehe.

  3. Your stupid. My total favorite.

    But I can't help but notice nothing you've ever said to me is on this list. Which I guess means you don't consider any of them regrettable? Hmmm . . .

  4. Thanks for the laugh! I knew if I started my day with alittle Jack Shit my day would be better. But better then what, that's the question.

  5. These are hilarious! I became a follower of your blog yesterday but have been reading for a while. It's always entertaining. Thank you!

  6. “Your stupid.”

    How much you wanna bet only a handful of people catch that one? Grammar nerds, unite :)

  7. “Well, it’s obvious to me your son is gay.”

    I had to stop reading a blog completely...before I just couldn't control myself.

  8. Those are comments that I would like to leave on some blogs....just sayin!

  9. Goodyear called - they want their tire back.

  10. I wonder how many people will understand the "Your stupid" one... Thanks for the morning laugh.

  11. "Your stupid" - classic! I'm going to try a few of these at Thanksgiving. It's time to mix things up a little.

  12. With these comments, you make real blogging seem so dull and lifeless by comparison.

  13. Hahahaha! Thanks for the morning giggle. Your stupid indeed. =)

    How about "Starting over again...hmmm...is this time 20 or 21 this year?" (I'm guilty of this too but still...)

  14. Funny, funny, funny. As usual, I've begun my online day with a roaring laugh.

  15. but Jack.. the thing is.. you never have, nor would say any of these things.. Your just playing a tough guy who can't hide his wonderful kind heart. :)

  16. I gave my acceptance speech come ode to jack yesterday.

    oh and I liked....
    As it says in the bible "show me the money'.

  17. You are too much.. sometimes we think things we want to say but we know.. NOT!

    Since I am a weights fanatic, mine are all about, "what are you looking at in that mirror" type stuff. I am not going to publish but what is with all that looking.. it only takes one look, not a pace back & forth the whole length of the weight room!

  18. Very funny!
    You sure we shouldn't say some of that stuff?

  19. "That looks like crap on a plate" is still my favorite!

  20. LOL @ “Do what I do: steal office supplies and sell them on Ebay.” Sounds like a good idea.

  21. McCelery - someone should alert McDs that they are totally missing out on a new product. I'm sure they could find a way to inject hundreds of fat & calories into it somehow. ;)

    "Your stupid"
    Ahhhhh, love it. Right up there with "I need to loose weight"
    I don't need to loosen it up - just get it freakin' gone.

    Thanks for the laugh!

  22. Very funny Jack. You forgot, "Hey, your "after" looks just like my "before!"

  23. How about this line? Stolen from Gomer Pyle, USMC...

    "Wow! You sure don't sweat much for a fat girl!"

  24. Hey Dude. that Credit Card # was declined. WTH?


  25. lmao...I swear, I don't think your brain ever slows down...I bet you come up with half of this stuff in your sleep! :)

  26. I love your comments Jack! sometimes they leave me speachless but for the most part I welcome them :0)

  27. these are all great, but the last "bad comment" post had the classic "why don't dont you just give up already?" lol. absolute hilarity!

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  29. It's You ARE stupid, so it would be You're stupid, not your stupid. Unless someone owns a stupid.


  30. (Just in case someone didn't get that one.)

  31. Catching up on blogs so just read "Do Not Go Gentle into That Bad Weight"

    Absolutely hit home. One of your best

  32. My last comment was supposed to be anonymous.

    LMAO Love it.

  33. I really shouldn't be snorting this much right before bedtime! Found your blog though and couldn't help myself. It's a wonder I didn't short out my keyboard.

    Laughing is the best exercise.

  34. I actually think you've left me a couple of those before ....
    Not cool, Jack.

  35. good stuff.
    now i just have to start saying them...

  36. No, your stupid!

    That was so hard to type! ;)

  37. LMAO at the McCelery....

    Okay so I happened upon you through another blogger and I'm SOOOO glad I did!!!

    Now my co workers think I'm kinda strange laughing like a fool for no reason (for them)



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