Saturday, October 17, 2009

You Arrrrre Gettttting Verrrrrrry Sleeeeeeeepy…

Your eyelids are gettttttinng verrrrrry heeeeeavvvvvvy…

Now take a deep breath ... exhale ... and relax .... you have no place else to be ... nothing else to do ... just sit back, relax and let go completely ... you are here to lose weight… to become healthier ... so just relx... sit back ... relax ... and allow yourself to accept all these suggestions ...
  • From this very moment on, you no longer have the urge to overeat or to endlessly snack between meals. Healthy, well-balanced meals satisfy your appetite ....
  • Rich, creamy foods, sweet treats, sugary drinks… they simply no longer appeal to you. Healthy foods taste better, and better yet, they fill you up.
  • You have an insatiable thirst for water, moreso than you have ever had before… you find yourself downing a glass before each meal. Clear, refreshing water tastes great to you now... you find yourself craving it more and more as each day passes ...
  • You will s-l-o-o-o-o-w down with your eating… you will chew your food thoroughly, perhaps even putting your fork down every once in a while. And once you quit eating like a speed demon, you find that you’re digesting your food more efficiently and you’re becoming full, even though you have eaten much less than before.
  • From now on, when you do snack it will be on healthy items ... no longer will sweets or unhealthy highly processed foods appeal to you. You will search out healthy foods and allow them to satisfy your cravings.
  • You will lose your weight slowly and steadily, not in such a rapid-fire fashion as it will do your body harm. You will find that you have more energy, a pep in your step, in you will. And you will put that extra energy to good use by increasing your exercise when and where you can. Everything you do will become easier … and you will want to do more each and every day to keep this ball rolling.
  • You will no longer eat due to stress, due to boredom, due to the desire to be entertained. No longer will you eat because you are tense, nervous, out of sorts or frustrated. You are done with negative eating.
  • It’s time to imagine yourself at your goal weight, calm, cool and confident. You are wearing clothes that flatter your improved physique, standing up straight and tall. You feel like a new person and have a new-found swagger about you. Get that image clear in your head, because this is the “goal” you. How much do you weigh? It’s not a huge concern, to tell the truth. You feel wonderful, you look fantastic. You can reach this weight comfortably, you can make this life happen for yourself. This is you, this is your goal ... this is what you will become if you follow all of these instructions, exactly as I have given them to you ...
  • Oh yeah… and when you hear a train whistle, you will hoot like a monkey and have an uncontrollable desire to remove your shoes and socks and draw on the soles of your feet with a Sharpee.
When I snap my fingers you will wake up, and won’t remember having come to my blog today.

Oh yeah… and you will leave me a witty comment.

*SNAP*

x

25 comments:

  1. Where have you been all of my banded life????
    great blog....!
    Judi

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  2. You are Mega-Cool
    You are Mega-Cool
    You are Mega-Cool

    Jack Rules
    Jack Rules
    Jack Rules

    Follow Him
    Follow Him

    Must Blog
    Must Blog

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  3. I woke up this morning thinking all of these things. Were you hiding in under my bed last night Jack?

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. LOL I liked this post Jack! Thanks for the laughs! :)

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  6. I have a hypnosis CD that sounds almost exactly like this! I should listen to it more often.

    At night I often visualize myself BEING the person I want to become and doing things I want to do. I think it helps change my mindset to a healthier one.

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  7. So i stumbled across your blog last night. I love reading all of your posts, chronologically like a book. you are my new fav!
    you mix the perfect amount of humor & inspiration! thank you so much for being apart of this community!
    xo
    -bluenotes
    todieortodiet.blogspot.com

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  8. I especially like the last command. :P

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  9. Hey, who the heck drew all over my feet with a sharpie???

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  10. my husband is a clinical hypnotherapist- he does this for a living!

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  11. jack.. did you know that I live right beside a train track?? They whistle through here at least a dozen times a day.

    I don't like you anymore. :(

    but for some reason.. i just ate my lunch ever so slowly.. and drank 3 glasses of very refreshing water... what was THAT about????

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  12. OH YEAH, I love it BUT being where I want to be (sort of because with me, there is always more to do in my mind), I am still going out for my big ole cookie treat today!!! Sorry, Jack, I work out way too hard not to treat myself now & then! :-)

    BUT, your message is clear & great for all of us. I just had to "rib" you!

    Hugs!

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  13. I like that! Good tips to have deeply seeded in my brain!

    Did you notice you and AJ both have 501 followers? weird.

    Gotta go wash my feet now.

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  14. Oh that was good -- that was very, very good.

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  15. This is a great blo.....(is that a train whistle I hear) OOO EEE AAAA, *ripping off socks and shoes, grabbing sharpie, drawing on feet* OOO EEE AAAAAA

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  16. I love this blog!!!
    However, Really really wish this could just happen. I'd gladly spend time drawing on my soles with a sharpee if it meant that I would do everything else you just said *laughs*
    (also, I don't live anywhere near a train for the whistle sound...so I may be safe)

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  17. :) Nothing witty but you made me smile!

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  18. Ok, I am your following slave. Damn you are good. I have laughed and cried, agreed with you and argued with you, have some inkling that we were separated at birth (strictly fraternal twins) and just all around decided you are way cool. With your inspiration, and I beg of you to not stop blogging, I am going to try and blog daily. I am nowhere near the writer you are, but thats not the point is it? Thanks for the kick in the ass!!

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  19. This is some good sh*t. Thanks again for the tips...I'm making some changes already. :)

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  20. I really think this might work lol. Good job Jack.

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  21. Wow my feet are so pretty with all the sharpee drawings but how the heck did that happen?

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