Thursday, October 1, 2009

More, More, More Fitness Center Conversation Starters

  • “I once had an out-of-body experience on that piece of equipment.”
  • “Wheeww… maybe I shouldn’t have donated blood right before my workout…”
  • “I couldn’t afford gel insoles so I filled my sneakers with chocolate pudding.”
  • “Y’know, if I could be any kind of animal in the world, I’d be a mammal.”
  • “Skateboarding on a treadmill is more exercise than it looks.”
  • “I’m just curious: what’s your social security number?”
  • “Excuse me… do you know where this gym’s smoking section is located?”
  • “I did 500 virtual jumping jacks this morning.”
  • “Mind if I change the TV to The Incontinence Channel?”
  • “Wanna see me make my muscle pop up?”
  • “Who filled my water bottle with Milk of Magnesia? Oh wait... I did."
  • “I have about 8,000 songs on my iPod, but they’re all Ricky Martin’s “Livin’ La Vida Loca.”
  • “You know what this gym needs? A Moon Bounce!”
  • “Aren’t these workout gloves soft? They’re made out of human skin.”
  • “I’m training for a 0K marathon.”
  • “Wow, the women’s locker room has a lot fewer urinals than the men’s.”
  • “Want a piece of my garlic-onion-banana gum?”
  • “Excuse me, but what’s a good exercise for your headtoid muscles?”
  • “Man, my thong is riding up.”
  • “You know, when I finish my workout, I feel like a beautiful butterfly.”
  • “My name’s Jack, but you can call me Zsa Zsa.”


  1. When I finish a workout, I feel like a beautiful butterfly too, a butterfly with garlic-onion-banana breath, but a butterfly nonetheless.

  2. You are a beautiful ,thong wearing, milk of magnesia drinking butterfly! lol

  3. So, did you treat yourself to your pickles yet? A whole jar or just some?

  4. Laxative-fueled dumbbell squats in thongs and pudding shoes = Hell to the No.

  5. *blinks*

    *blinks again*


    Ohhhh ... the mental pictures ...

  6. Ok Zsa Zsa what have I told you about wearing that thong! Ughh!!!

  7. "Wanna see me make my muscle pop up?" and "Man, my thong is riding up!" both got me concerned glances from coworkers. Apparently you're not supposed to laugh so hard you get choked up at work.

    My bad.

  8. *shudder* human skin gloves, love it!

    good one Jack :-)

  9. I'm gonna try some of these out at my new gym! I think I'll make lots of friends... :)

    btw, congrats on the 401K! LOL! I think you can move on to a 5K now...whaddaya up for the challenge??? check out the couch to 5K program. You can do it! And nooooo, it doesn't mean you bring your couch to a 5K! Yes, I am a mind reader :)

  10. Think of the butt clinching muscles you would build up by doing pilates after drinking that MOM?

    And dude I hate it when my thong rides up in my unitard. Hard to de-wedge without bringing attention to myself.

  11. (waiting for Zsa Zsa baby to see this...)

    Jack. .this list was kinda gross.. you had me thinking Silence of the Lambs with the human gloves. (gagging)

  12. Am I the only one that loved "The Incontinence Channel?"

  13. We should totally start calling you Zsa Zsa

  14. The one about the uinals in the women's bathroom was priceless!

    I love all your gym conversation starters.

  15. You stole mine!! I'M training for a 0K race!

  16. OMG, Jack, what is going on inside that head of yours!!! Your family must be laughing non stop with you around!

    I used to be a jokester when I was young as a way to get people to like me when I was heavy.. where did that person go??? Maybe hiding under a weight bench???

  17. Hi Congratulations I have awarded you the "Lovely Blog Award" you truly deserve it, love Becky xx

  18. LMAO @ virtual jumping jacks, but especially training for the 0k marathon....oh my sides hurt!

  19. What about "Mind if I change it to Paula Dean?"

    I love working out watching Paula cook! I know...sadistic!

  20. I've been a bit intimidated to actually use the gym where I have a membership, but with conversation starters like these I'm sure I'll make friends and feel comfortable in no time. Thanks!

  21. “I have about 8,000 songs on my iPod, but they’re all Ricky Martin’s “Livin’ La Vida Loca.”


  22. Zsa Zsa, have you got enough pudding for my shoes?

  23. arent these gloves soft...lmao. Just watched valkyrie last night...coincidence?
    Gotta watch those thongs, talk about chafing.

  24. Ha ha. Where is the smoking section? Ha ha. You crack me up.



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