Monday, October 26, 2009

Where the Wide Things Are

The night Jax wore his sweat pants and ate snacks of one kind and another. His wife called him “WIDE THING!” and Jax said “I’LL EAT THIS UP!” so he was sent to bed without getting any.

That very night in Jax’s room a fitness center grew and grew and grew until his ceiling hung with exercise equipment and the walls had mirrors all around and an opportunity tumbled by with a private trainer for Jax.

And he started exercising through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to get away from where the wide things are.

And when he came back to the place where the wide things are they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible bellies and showed their terrible appetites… ‘til Jax said “QUIT OVEREATING!” and tamed them with a magic trick of making them laugh while imparting valuable weight loss information to them.

And they called him the most wild wide thing of all and made him king of all wide things.

“And now,” cried Jax, “let the Wide Rump-Less start!”

“Now stop!” Jax said and sent the wide things off to bed with only 850 calories worth of supper.

And Jax the king of all wide things was tired of being so wide and wanted to be fittest and healthiest of all.

Then all around from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wide things are.

But the wide things cried, “Oh please don’t go… we like you being as fat as we are!”

And Jax said, “No!”

The wide things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Jax just waved good-bye and began eating less and working out over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day…

…and into the night of his very own room where he found his wife waiting for him.

And she was still hot.

Okay, so I knock off work early Friday and took my daughter Pisa and one of her buddies to see Where the Wild Things Are. It was an enchanting little film, but I spent a lot of time writing this on my phone during the slow parts. Between three daughters, I’ve probably read this book a thousand times. It’s actually one of those books that we’ve had to replace because we absolutely wore it out. I know this doesn't make a whole lotta sense, but I was impressed with myself for being able to recall so much of the actual book from memory. I can't remember my PIN number for my bank card, but my brain holds on to the important stuff...

This week, I’ve got to survive trick-or-treating and a wild Halloween party Friday night.

Let the wild rumpus start!


  1. Love it! We read that book all the time and the kiddos still love it. My plan for Halloween candy this year is for my husband to take it all to work and bring some home each day for the kids. Why he was blessed with the grace not to eat it all is beyond me, but if it stayed in the house, I'd be toast. Good luck to you this week!

  2. Oh I totally get being impressed with yourself about remembering the lines! I liked the movie but my 3 year old was bored.

    You need to do a weight loss version of the movie. In the beginning Jax would be acting out his anger at the whole fat state of things by running around burning diet books, smashing scales, screaming "you skinny sh*t" to his thin relatives, and then retreating to his secret stash of Lays in his snow-cave.

    Let the Wild Rump-Less start!

  3. Let the wide rumpless start...haaaaaaaaaaaaa lmao.

  4. Personally, rain is predicted for Halloween in our area and I'm hoping it downpours. (That sounds mean but my kids are grown and gone.) Halloween to me is the first signal of the non-stop eating season which may be why I've never really liked this fake "holiday." Like Jax, I am "tired of being so wide and [want] to be fittest and healthiest of all."

  5. I adore the book & I brought my toddler to see the film on opening night. She played with her stuffed monkey as I sat intrigued by the movie. I actually cried at the end when Max went home.

    "I'll eat you up, I love you so"

    Hope you have a great week!

  6. Having read this book many times to my own kids, I'd say you really nailed it!


  7. Haha that's awesome... nicely done!

    @ Ella... that's my favorite line of the whole film!

    "Don't go. I could eat you up I love you so."

    Happy Monday!

  8. thanks jack, clueless about the book, but a great post none the less! ( shoulda had a kid or two:)

  9. I've never read that book, it's not "a must" here like it seems to be in the US. I am however really curious to watch the film (and maybe even read the book if I find it!).

    Have an awesome week. :)

  10. I'm sure you'll have a great Halloween, if you dress up you have to post a picture *smile*. Very cool you could remember so much of the book.

  11. My memory sucks. I loved that book. Still do. There is something magical about it.

  12. I've read that book so much I think I have parts of it memorized!

  13. I never read the book so I guess I best! I loved you last line abut your wife & I am sure she did too!

    You WILL survive Halloween & that party. Just plan ahead so you know what is coming at you & what you are willing or not willing to compromise on the food front. AND, there is always the next day when you get right back to business & maybe just eat super clean that day to clean out the bod from the sodium or other stuff that is making you feel UGH & drink lots of water!

  14. My favorite book & movie ever! I hope you got to see the movie too =)
    i love this version!

  15. Wow! interesting stuff. Never read the book, but sounds good. Halloween is always tough, hang tight.

  16. I have a wild Halloween party to go to Friday night, too!

  17. I'm impresed. This was def a fav book of mine in the past. :) I can't wait to see the movie, whenever that happens!

    You will survive the party and trick or treating. Just send me all the candy here in healthy living bootcamp. Thanks in advance!

  18. "And Jax the king of all wide things was tired of being so wide and wanted to be fittest and healthiest of all"

    AMEN! Happy Halloweening. I hope you have great weather and watch the foamy spooky juice at the party Friday!

  19. I've never read the book and I have not seen the movie, but I'll never watch the preview the same again! I'll be giggling my bootie off!

  20. I fear insulting you BUT :) by my day job I do lottsa kids writing and am creating a GIGGLE AND GROW series.

    All that to say I have a fab illustrator and so lottsa silly spoof stuff with her.

    we should collaborate and actually PUBLISH ONE!

    (the insult is that Im shoving myself at your skilled level :))

  21. Nicely done.

    I've been wanting to check out the movie, the book was a fav growing up.



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