But then again, too few to mention.
Well, as I’ve been scrounging through my closet of memories about weight-loss issues, I come back time and time again to the months before my marriage to my wife Anita. We had been dating since we were toddlers, and I had just started my career as a worker bee when we planned our nuptuals.
I guess the stress of getting up every morning and going to sit in a cubicle was starting to get to me, because I plumped up pretty impressively. Rarely if ever over the course of our marriage has Anita been critical of my weight. She’s been concerned for me, and I’m sure she’s wished that I’d take better care of myself, but she’s loved me for who I am, no matter my size.
In the months leading up to our wedding, she asked me point-blank to lose weight. Pleaded with me to at least try. Just twenty pounds. I think we had a little argument, but I’m pretty sure that my heart wasn’t in the fight.
Unfortunately, my heart wasn’t in the idea of losing any weight either.
Why could that possibly be? Why wouldn’t I want to drop a few pounds for the most important day of my life? Why wouldn’t I want to honor the request of the woman that meant the most to me in the world? To this day, it still boggles my mind.
I’d like to go back in time, grab that chubby young man by the collar and really blast him with both barrels. I don’t know what it would have taken to get through his thick skull; I’m not sure there’s anything I could have said to him. It was selfish and lazy and unconscionable.
To this day, I grimace when I see the wedding photos. I simply can’t watch the video that was taken that day. It stings worse than looking at all the other photographs where I look… well… not at my best. It hurts more because I should have been stronger… I should have done what my wife asked me to do.
English writer and clergyman Sydney Smith once said “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”
I let my glowing bride down a long time ago, but the future? I plan to live my future without the weight, without the pain and without regret.