Monday, January 25, 2010

I’m Sorry, Carrie Underwood

video


Right now she’s probably slow cooking another crockpot casserole,
And she's got it real salty.
Right now, she's probably drinking her some fruity little drink cause her brain’s thinkin’ faulty.
Right now, she’s probably pulling up to the drive-thru, asking for an upsized combo...
Cuz she don't know...

That if she digs in and shows some grit,
She might really have a chance to start losing it.
Might show some losses when she blogs and tweets.
Might do real well and rock the scales,
And forget about all of her old fails.
Maybe next time she'll think before she eats.

Right now, she's probably waking up,
And opening a box of strawberry Pop-Tarts.
Right now, she's probably saying “I'm starved”
And she's a thinking that she's gotta get fed now,
Right now, she's probably gobbling down three pounds worth of that frozen cookie dough...
Cuz she don't know...

That if she digs in and shows some grit,
She might really have a chance to start losing it.
Might show some losses when she blogs and tweets.
Might do real well and rock the scales,
And forget about all of her old fails.
Maybe next time she'll think before she eats.

She might've saved a little trouble for the next year,
Cause the next time that she eats...

Oh, you know it gonna be healthy!

Yes...healthy.

And if she digs in and shows some grit,
She might really have a chance to start losing it.
Might show some losses when she blogs and tweets.
Might do real well and rock the scales,
And forget about all of her old fails.
Maybe next time she'll think before she eats.

Oh… maybe next time she'll think before she eats...

Ohh... before she eats...

29 comments:

  1. HAHA! You crack me up! Great song Jack! :)

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  2. LOL! I actually sang along to that! :)

    ~Kellie

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  3. lol i was singing it to myself too..

    then i got to the cookie dough part.

    Le Sigh. Grit. I need more GRIT.

    thanks Jack!
    xo

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  4. Ha! I love it.

    So the key to weight loss is more grit and not more grits? Why didn't anyone tell me this before!?!?

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  5. L-O-L Jack! This is my favorite Carrie Underwood song too. So funny. "Right now, she's probably waking up, And opening a box of strawberry Pop-Tarts." Lollers. Wooo. Thanks for this! Also, CONGRATS on getting in to the 100's...you defnitely earned it!!!

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  6. I think this was my fav. so far. Great job!

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  7. One of my favorites, since I could sing it.

    I do need to think before I eat. But I do NOT have any strawberry poptarts or cookie dough. So this song can't be about me.

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  8. This is right up there with your Sir Mix a Lot tribute. You are a classic!

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  9. I have something in the crockpot right now! It's only pork tenderloin. I suppose that's okay :)

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  10. Yeah,crockpots don't have to be bad.

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  11. Cute. I'm sure Carrie won't mind ;)

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  12. Grit made me think of shrimp and grits. Mmmm. I'll have to make that soon.

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  13. OK...the music is totally playing in my head to go along with your song. I look down and am tapping my foot too :)

    Entertaining as always.

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  14. Jeez, I loved those pop tarts as a kid.. the cinnamon ones!!! Oh, those were the days! :-)

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  15. That is a tough reminder that wives or husbands who get too fat made it easy for their spouses to rationalize extramarital affairs.

    Secretia

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  16. I was singing it too! Nice job...perfect fit. I swear---When are you going to have some of these or all recorded? Brilliant!

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  17. Oh dear Lord, Jack.....you are funny. I even SANG along to that one..with your lyrics. (hey, it is in my key...) Too funny.

    I'm thinking you ought to figure out how to make these karoke (sp?) songs and market them to weight watchers conventions and such....what a hoot that would be. Then your blog could be Jack Shit Gettin Rich! :)

    Thanks for the laugh!

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  18. Mmmm...cookie dough.

    Oh, that wasn't supposed to happen, was it? Oops.

    Good one, once again!

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  19. I know you were being funny with this but I had to say "thank you", it really helped me tonight. I came off my first week of exercising and eating right and not losing a pound. Then my kids annoyed the crap out of me right before they went to bed and all I wanted to do was sit down and eat-I don't have sweets in the house, but ANYTHING would have worked. I read your chorus though and it's true. I need to just dig in and not fall into my old habits.

    Anyway, sorry that was so long-just wanted to say thanks:)

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  20. Aawwww i don't have a sound card so i can't listen to the song that your [once again] clever words go to! :o/

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  21. okay, carrie underwood is the only person i ever actually voted for on American idol.
    Good choice Jack.
    Good choice.

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  22. You been lookin' in my windows again, Jack?

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  23. Well, at least you did not try to cover "Cowboy Casanova"

    I mean, why mess with the classics!

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  24. LOL! Great rendition of that song.

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  25. Not a fan of Carrie Underwood and this song. But I actually had fun with your version.

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