Sunday, July 24, 2011

Breaking In a New Scale

Weekly weigh-in: 225.0

Loss: -.9

Total loss: -66.9

Emotion: Three-quarters awesome

Jack: I know this is your first day on the job, but there’s a few things we need to get straight before you start…

Scale: Hop on.

Jack: You see, I think we should begin these weigh-in proceedings with some witty banner. Maybe a joke, maybe a funny anecdote…

Scale: I said “Hop on, bitch!”

Jack: I don’t understand why every scale I come in contact with has to have such a piss-poor attitude.

Scale: What part of “Hop on, bitch!” do you not understand?

Jack: I'm just saying that I think there's room for some civility in our relationship...

Scale: Do you think I enjoy sitting here, staring at your junk all day? Hop on!

Jack: You know, a few words of encouragement might make all the difference in this situation.

Scale: I’m going back to sleep now.

Jack: No, no… let’s do this thang!

Scale: 225.0

Jack: You couldn’t have given me a tenth of pound so I could have lost an whole pound this week?

Scale: Next!


  1. Seriously, Jack. I freaking love you.

  2. Maybe you should have gotten a Mary Lou Reton scale she would say nice things to you when you weigh lol.

  3. You sure do know how to pick 'em!


  4. :-D You are too friggin funny! Hey, almost a pound - take it! If you want to lose 3+ pounds, have 7 grandkids hit town! A post coming up on that! ;-)

  5. haha hilarious! 'hop on bitch' I think my scale is bitchy too.

  6. Damn those Prima Donna scales!



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