Monday, July 11, 2011

A Few More Weight Loss Tips and Tricks

• Breakfast is the most important meal  of the day, so please remember to wear a formal evening gown or tuxedo when eating it.

• Encourage the company where you work to sponsor a "Biggest Loser" challenge; if that works, try to get them to sponsor a "Deal or No Deal" challenge. Hey,maybe you'll win a million dollars and can quit this crummy job!

• Instead of dipping caramel apples in caramel, just dip regular apples in caramel instead. Way fewer calories!

• When at your favorite restaurant, try ordering the opposite of what you really want.

• Install a series of ropes or vines throughout your house and swing from room to room on them. Tarzan's a pretty fit dude, after all.

• Every morning, I look in the mirror and say "I can do this!" So tomorrow, I'd like you to look in your mirror and say "Jack can do this!"

• There's no quicker way to get in your daily intake of water than to almost drown.

• Every time you make an excuse for not exercising, an angel gets a migraine headache.

• Don't trust a dietician who eats a  2-lb. bag of pork rinds during your initial consultation.

• If you're a cannibal, consider leaner cuts like shins and biceps instead of buttocks.

• Beer is pretty high calorie, so a good strategy is to drink so much that you throw up.

• Leaving a blog comment burns 10 calories.

19 comments:

  1. LAUGHED OUT LOUD at the "say Jack can do this."

    completely.

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  2. Great tips, Jack!

    Woo-hoo! I just burned 10 calories!

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  3. FAVORITE tip ever of my lifetime. "• Beer is pretty high calorie, so a good strategy is to drink so much that you throw up." SO gonna be my Facebook status today. :)

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  4. Just threw up my beer! Thanks Jack! I feel skinnier already...

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  5. Great blog...just found it! Need a little laugh about this weight loss thing sometimes!!! Thank you!

    I've been really enjoying a new show called Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (Monday nights on ABC at 10pm/9c)...it's on tonight! So your blog for laughs and inspiration today & the show tonight! My Monday is looking good so far!
    http://www.facebook.com/ExtremeMakeoverWeightLossEdition

    LOVE these tips...;) looking forward to coming back! Have a great Monday!

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  6. hahaha. i especially like "When at your favorite restaurant, try ordering the opposite of what you really want." I've yet to try that one!

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  7. I just found this blog. You have been RSS'ed and I posted this entry on Facebook. Also... I think you're right about beer. I was much skinnier when I used to drink more.

    -Shanni
    fitango.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Too funny as usual. I will put you in my morning motivations "Jack can do this!"

    Hey look, another 10 calories gone!

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  9. Oh, the angels must really hate me. =)P

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  10. even with the most hilarious tips you are providing - there's always a trace of truth in there... love it!

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  11. Well Jack, I gotta say that ordering the opposite of what I really want in a restaurant would really work!!!

    Off to drink beer...I liked that one too.

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