Sunday, September 26, 2010

Stalking the Elusive Mojo

Weekly weigh-in: 210.6
Loss: -0.5
Total loss: -81.4
Emotion: On the scent

I am a hunter.

The game I stalk these days isn’t the lynx or the wildebeest or even the hard-to-track (and even harder-to-kill) unicorn.

No… my prey has the there-and-gone speed of the cheetah, the whoops-where'd-it-go camouflage skills of the chameleon and the legendary elusiveness of the fabled cheetah-chameleon.

I hunt the Mysterious Mojo.

There was a time when my den was strewn with Mojo hides, and my freezer stocked top-to-bottom with shanks of Mojo meat. That’s because each week I went out there into the wild woods and bagged my limit.

I ate with purpose and exercised with passion, and it seemed as though there was sweet Mojo always dead within my sights.

But like the buffalo on the Western plains of yesteryear, it seems as though the herd has been thinned to the point where it’s hard to find much Mojo these days.

I still don my hunting gear and go out in search of game, but I find myself consistently coming up empty in my quest to bring home my prize. I have days when I feel like I’m thisclose to capturing some, only to see it all slip from my grasp…

I’m out of town most of this week, out on a business trip where I’m pretty sure Mojo will be an endangered species.

Still, I’ll keep my guns loaded and my eyes peeled.

And if I get my shot, I’ll take it.


  1. I very nearly choked on my banana cake when I read 'whoops-where'd-it-go camouflage skills'. Thanks again Jack xx

  2. It seems to go into torpor around this time of year, doesn't it? The cooler, shorter days drive it inside it's burrow, I think.

  3. Hope you bag some while your out of town!

  4. So when I saw the title of this blog post I was immediately transported back to the late 80s...back then I was a reporter for a plastics industry trade magazine. I was in Chicago for the mega-trade show NPE (National Plastics EXPO) and the company I worked for at the time (McGraw-Hill) was putting on the ritz for all its advertisers, friends, customers, and so on. One evening a bunch of us were out partying and we ended up at some was me and maybe two or three other women, and a whole bunch of men. One of them was a guy from Germany (there are a lot of German plastics equipment manufacturers) who didn't speak much English. So there we all are, drinking, dancing, and carrying on when all of a sudden, German Guy is up on the table yelling, "I can feel it!! I can feel it!! I can feel my mojo rising!!!"

    Just thought I'd share...

  5. Please Dont Kill the Unicorns.......have a great week Jack, and I do hope you bag a lil mojo along the way!!!

  6. What pattern of camo do you recommend for the mojo? I'm thinkingsomething akin to a bruised but not completely brown banana.

    Have a good trip and please show us how to have a healthy one while you are at it.

  7. If you get a shot you better take it. I'm out there hunting too, and I'm armed to the teeth.

  8. I find that Mojos are cliff-dwellers and that sometimes I have to wait until they find me. So, I just find a cliff, crawl over and hang on by my fingertips, trying not fall, until the elusive Mojo wanders by.

  9. only reason I stopped by was I read your post title too quickly and thought it said MOJITO, I got all excited because I love those....damn it...bye....

    good job on the loss Jack! :)

  10. I find that mojo has a tendency to hide under heavy dumbbells. I'd go lift some of those.

  11. Jack, the closer we get & the older we get, the harder it is & honestly, what we don't want to hear, the harder we have to work. Keep your eye on the prize. It is there!

  12. Whoops-where'd-it-go camouflage skills. Amazing.

  13. I've been hunting down the elusive mojo for a couple of weeks now, Jack. I caught wind of it last week, but then I caught a cold and it ran away from me again. Tranquilizer darts don't seem to work. :(

  14. Hi Jack Sh*t,
    I recently stumbled on your blog (linked from Deb's blog) and just LOVE it. You're the first male weight loss blogger I've seen. I can tell your posts will be hilarious (no pressure!) so I've book marked you and will read regularly. Keep up the great work and inspiration!!! And good luck on the hunt for your mojo!!! :)

  15. Ahhh! I'm hunting too! I love your blog and I hope you find you mojo ;)

  16. Hope you do ok while you're on travel. You know I was looking under people on my directlife yesterday and guess who was there? You were, I was seeing your %'s and it looked to me like you were doing pretty good. Better than me some days. I've got my eye on ya Jack so better not let me beat ya lol.

  17. I'm not originally from South Dakota, but I've lived here long enough to give you this advice. Sometimes ya gotta switch up which guns yer usin'.

    Or get some different bullets.



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