Saturday, September 11, 2010

More Ways to Jumpstart Your Mojo

Welcome to "Same Old Sh*t" Saturday, where I use the time machine I invented to go back in time and find a post I wrote six months or more IN THE PAST. I also pick up scores from old sports games, but, frankly, I'm having trouble finding anybody that wants to bet with me on old sports games. If you're feeling lucky, let's wager on last year's Super Bowl...

  • If you can’t afford to join a gym, a simple way to make sure you get your workouts is to find some way to break into the place in the middle of the night and do your workouts in the pitch-black darkness. Silently sneak out before the doors open in the morning.

  • Make healthy food more desirable by eating it with a jewel-encrusted fork.

  • If you weigh yourself in the nude, try weighing yourself even nuder, if you know what I mean (if you do know what I mean, would you mind explaining it to me?).

  • Track not only the food you eat during the day, but also the food you do not eat.

  • Convert your living room into a sweat-inducing sauna by turning the thermostat to 130°.

  • To get more vegetables in your diet, fill your bathtub with sod and start growing zucchini squash there.

  • Two words: sleep sprinting.

  • To save time, work exercise into everyday activities. For example, don't use a cart when you're at the grocery store. Just get one item at a time, pay for it and take it to the car. Four or five hours later, you'll be done with both your workout and your grocery shopping!

  • To remind you to drink more water, wear a garden-hose necklace.

  • An easy way to get in some extra walking is to run out of gas in your car.

  • Cut out your mid-weigh-in snack.

  • Remember that you're not restricting the foods that you love forever... just for the rest of your life.

  • They say that wearing too-tight clothes can keep your focused on your diet, so start wearing toddler outfits from Gymboree.

  • If you’re gaining weight, cut that sh*t out.


  1. I loved this. Thanks for bringing some sunshine to my day!!! I really needed this!

  2. Ha! Chuckle chuckle. You really make me lol, not just sayin' it. I could shave my head, that would probably take a couple pounds off on the next weigh in. I like the image of the toddler clothes. I might pop a few buttons and blow out a seam at yoga though.

  3. Hey jack....I finally checked my mail and got the gift card...THANKS a bazillion!

  4. Oh Jack! The best! I love these :)

  5. mid-weigh-in snack - LOL!! you're too funny!

  6. LOL! I really needed this today. Thanks Jack! :)

  7. Ahh haaaaa Loved it and it's not even Saturday; it's Sunday. See what time travel can do for my humor appreciation. Gotta go run item # 465 to the car from the grocery store. Back in a week



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