Thursday, September 16, 2010

Cooking with Jack

I blame this post on Hungry Girl, because she stole my idea of having a line of super-successful cookbooks and then parlaying that to worldwide fame and your own TV show. That was totally my idea, Lisa!

This recipe came from the newest addition to my cookbook collection Moosewood Restaurant Cooking for Health. So far, everything in it has been outstanding. It even has a section of Raw Food recipes (where this raw slaw concoction came from, as a matter of fact).

But just so you cookbook publishers reading this know... I can make up my own recipes, too. And they'd probably be even better than this one. And definitely better than anything Hungry Girl has ever whomped up. Have your people call my people!


Raw Slaw


Start with three galloops of olive oil (note: a galloop is what you approximate a tablespoon to be if you're too lazy to dig around for measuring spoons).



Add a couple of galoops of apple cider vinegar.



Mmmmmm... apple cider.



Man, apple cider sure tasted better when I was a kid!



Just this much salt: smidge.



And this much pepper: loads.


What thyme is it?



Time to chop up some thyme and throw it into the mix (you can tell it's thyme because it doesn't look like rosemary).



Add a dash of evil.



And whisk it all together with a whisk. Set it aside.



Take one beardfull of kale.



Chop, chop, chop.



Get you some red cabbage. Interesting fact about red cabbage: it's red color comes from a flavonoid called anthocyanin, which is also found in blueberries and flower petals (Flavonoids are actually a kick-ass antioxidant).



Chop til you drop. Related interesting fact: typing the word "flavonoid" made me think of my favorite Saturday morning cartoon when I was a kid: The Herculoids.



Third interesting fact: I don't know when my parent's wedding anniversary is, but I can still name all the Herculoids (Zandor, Tarra, Dorno, Zok, Igoo, Tundro and Gloop & Gleep).



Furiously grate three or so carrots; grate them as if the very fate of the land of Amzot on the planet Quasar depended on it.



While you're grating, toss in a couple of nice apples.



Mix it all together. Now you're cooking! (well, technically you're NOT cooking, but you get my drift).



Pour on your whisked-up dressing.



You may want to add some more thyme or black pepper.



It's raw slaw, ya'll.


Next on Cooking with Jack:
Jack's secret to the freshest scrambled eggs you've ever tasted!

49 comments:

  1. I am now literally laughing so hard even my dog is looking at me like "What the hell???"

    Thanks, Jack.

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  2. Oh man, I haven't thought about the Herculoids in years! I loved them. Oh, and your raw slaw looks pretty darned good, too.

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  3. Hint: when following a raw diet, chicken is best avoided...

    Nice one!

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  4. lmao at the pictures!

    That slaw salad looks delicious!

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  5. I love it! More cooking with Jack! Thumbs up!

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  6. That was the most entertaining recipe I think I've ever found on a blog.

    I still sneak and watch Herculoids online. Thundarr is a favorite of mine too.

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  7. Cooking with Jack, I love it! It actually looks like a great recipe too and I will probably be trying it soon! :)

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  8. Oh My Freakin' Goodness. I think you need to have a "Adult Diaper" warning. I think I peed on myself several times laughing!! Can't wait for the freshest eggs ever, if you are going to use milk for your eggs, go with goat milk, they are lighter than cows.

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  9. Looks like a great recipe - can't wait to read about the scrambled eggs :)

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  10. Dude! You should SO have your own cooking show or book or SOMETHING! Fabulous. And apples in slaw? YUM!

    And might I just add, your "set" looks like such a comfy rustic cabin that I kept smelling hot cocoa while reading this post even though you were whipping up slaw! Also, I imagined you cooking in stripey socks. I dunno why, that's just the visual I got. Must of been the wood panneling.

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  11. You've hit on a fantastic idea with the cooking pic posts...I'm enjoying this as much as the index cards...once again, your brilliance at work. :) I'm going to make your slaw this weekend...got a cookout at Mom's on Sunday, so thanks for the idea.

    And Pisa's gonna' be pissed if you don't put down her prize chicken. ;)

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  12. Anxiously awaiting the chicken, er, I mean scrambled egg recipe!

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  13. Fantabulous! You need to include your stunning photos in the recipe book too! Quite HIGHlarious :)

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  14. Yum! I think even the Husband and Teen Sons would eat this. Oh wait. The Teen Sons will eat anything. All of it.

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  15. Now that's my kind of cooking! (lots of approximating!) Kale scares me though; maybe I'll get brave enough to try it someday!

    Every time I think I've read the funniest thing ever on your blog you go and outdo yourself! Can't wait to hear about those scrambled eggs...

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  16. My chickens just ran for cover...great recipe...I would add: NOTE: when furiously grating carrots stop slightly before you begin furiously grating fingers.

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  17. I am totally lusting after that kitchen!

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  18. OMG LOL. Look at you..getting all crafty in the kitchen! This is my vote for more "Cooking with Jack" posts. :)

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  19. Loved the chicken shot but who has chickens handy?

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  20. WOW JACK! LOVE THE SALAD IDEA...yes I was shouting...

    I've never had kale. I am a kale virgin. lol

    The chicken in the kitchen, I was happy that I did not have any coffee in my mouth when I scrolled down to see that one! LOL HILARIOUS! :)

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  21. I thought you were making fried chicken!

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  22. I read once that Fergie did shots of apple cider vinegar to help her with weight loss. I got some, of course. That stuff is NASSSTTTYYYY! At least with vodka shots, you got drunk off it.

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  23. Great recipe, Jack! Gonna have to try it sometime, without the kale, pepper or thyme!

    Hey.. your chicken looks like one of ours. Araucana? Easter egger? Can't wait to see that cooking demonstration because I sure can't get my hens to lay on cue!

    Vee at http://veegettinghealthy.blogspot.com

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  24. I most appreciate the image on the the apple in the mouth. What a juxtaposition to an apple stuffed in a cooked pig's chops waiting to be carved. You're deep like that.

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  25. "hey! that's not red cabbage that's raddichio! (uh, maybe)." said the obnoxious know-it-all.

    I love your units of measurement! "one beard full of kale" awesome.

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  26. JACK!!!! You are nuts!!! But a good nuts!!! What a fantastic post!!! I truly was absolutely howling with some of your pictures and descriptions, especially the last one. Not many people have chickens running around in the kitchen... I'm jealous! "Cooking Sh*t with Jack" ---> love the new concept. That t-shirt is the perfect chef outfit!

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  27. OMg you have a real chicken?!

    I love the Moosewood cookbooks!

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  28. Hahaha, OMG chicken!

    Now I'm waiting to see if you can squeeze an egg outta that bad boy...

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  29. hahaha definitely the best illustrated recipe EVER!

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  30. LMAO..your actually holding the chicken over the pan..ahahaahaaa

    M

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  31. This is dangerous. I almost fell off my chair I laughed that hard.

    I could have hampered my exercising ability....

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  32. Dude, you crack me up. Seriously. ROFL!!

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  33. I'm boycotting Hungry Girl's Cook Books until she admits defeat.

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  34. Totally laughing at damanlovett's comment about goats being lighter than cows. And Jennifer's right. That does look like radicchio, not red cabbage.

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  35. Now THAT is some fresh chicken!!! The slawy looks good too.

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  36. You know, if you do a step-by-step with the chicken, I might just end up going vegan! On the other hand...

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  37. I will so buy your cookbooks if all the recipes are written/illustrated like this post!

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  38. I am new to your blog and I love it already. Laughed right outloud reading this. Thank you.

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  39. Cooking with Jack, I love it! It actually looks like a great recipe too and I will probably be trying it soon! :)
    Acai Berry
    Acai Berry Weight Loss

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  40. At first I thought he was putting liquor into his coffee.

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  41. You are nuts!!! But a good nuts!!! What a fantastic post!!! I truly was absolutely howling with some of your pictures and descriptions, especially the last one. Not many people have chickens running around in the kitchen.

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  42. The photo with the chicken is genuinely hilarious.

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