Tuesday, June 8, 2010

More Yakking with DirectLife Coach Jen

As I may have already mentioned, I'm currently giving a trial run to the Philips DirectLife activity monitor, a little electronic doomahichey that comes with your own personal coach to aid you in your quest to ratchet up your activity. Please don't leave any mean comments about her, because I'm pretty sure she's reading my blog.

Hi Jack,


Let me begin by saying an enormous congratulations for all of your work on increasing your health over the past 13 months. It is a fantastic achievement and I am really happy for you!

Now, to help me coach you can you please dock your device so that I can see your activity levels? Thank you! Peeing in a cup is not necessary, of course. I look forward to seeing those results and after the weekend I will get back to you with feedback on your activity levels so that we can really get this Jack-coach Jen team started.

Enjoy the weekend!


Jen

PS. Google treadmill desk and you will indeed find that it's out there - and in use! I notice you've stopped docking your Activity Monitor after your Assessment Week. Unfortunately I can't see if you've just postponed starting your program or if there's another issue at hand.

Dear DirectLife Coach Jen,

C'mon, DirectLife Coach Jen! It was my birthday... and Memorial Day weekend. Can't you give me a break from your reckless pursuit of trying to make me the most active man on earth?

I was getting back after it today, but the worst thing happened. Are you ready for this, DirectLife Coach Jen? I was wrapping up a 30-minute, 5K treadmill run when it suddenly dawned on me that I didn't have my activity monitor in my pocket! AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

One of the women at the fitness center rushed over with a defribulator and was about to zap me with it when I convinced her I wasn't having a heart attack, but was distraught over having performed activity that wasn't going to count toward my daily totals. What are we going to do about THAT, DirectLife Coach Jen? I thought about taping the monitor to the wheel of my car and making you think that I did somersaults all the way back to my office. Better that then you thinking that I was sitting in a locker for an hour!

Speaking of activity that's not getting counted, what about you-know-what, DirectLife Coach Jen? I mean, I don't have a pocket when my wife Anita and I are rockin' the casbah, so what's your suggestion for claiming full credit for ALL of my activity?

We're really getting to be good friends, DirectLife Coach Jen. Except that I think you should have made more of a big deal about my kick-ass assessment.

Anyway... I'll try to remember to get my lil' activity doodad on me as much as I can, and thanks for all the tips on incorporating more activity into my day. My poor old body's not going to know what hit it....

Take care,

Jack


Hi Jack,

Happy belated birthday! I'm sorry that I missed it but I hope that you had a fantastic celebration.
and THANK YOU for docking your device. I can now see your Activity Data and indeed you had a fantastic week of activity!

When I look at your Activity History I notice several hours with hardly any movement like Monday the 24th from 7am to 6pm. Yes, you were really active from 6 - 8 but these hours of inactivity still stand out. Since you already do activities in which you burn a lot of calories and seem to be very consistent with them, how you look at the periods of lowest activity in your daily routine is very relevant. Are you concerned about your activity at these times?

During registration you mentioned that you would like to be more active. Are you open to looking at those times of less activity to see how we can increase your overall daily activity?
If possible, take a moment and have a look at what your graphs show on Sunday May 23rd and your activity levels throughout the day. What pattern do you see? Do you see this on other days of the week too? What does it, if anything, make you think?

Again, you are really active and did indeed have a kick-ass Assessment so I don't want to take any of that away from you. You are already very active. What I am hoping to do is to help you see an opportunity to be active in a different way, throughout the day.

Until soon,


Jen


Hi DirectLife Coach Jen,

It's a shame that Philips doesn't make a device that measures brain activity, DirectLife Coach Jen. Those big gaps in my day that look like I've lapsed into a coma are periods that are choc-full of brain synapses firing off in every-which direction.

Did you see that movie Good Will Hunting about the guy that could do crazy hard math equations that stumped even the most learned professors? Well, I'm kind of like that (except I'm really bad at math). My point is that I'm often holed up thinking big thoughts (or stuck in budget meetings) and can't be as active as you and I would like. If you think I can get everyone in a budget meeting to agree to take a break and riverdance, well, you're living in a dream world, DirectLife Coach Jen.

I want to run something else by you, DirectlLife Coach Jen. Tell me if this statement is true or false: "This sentence is false."

If "This sentence is false" is true, then it's actually false, which would in turn mean that it's actually true, but this would mean that it is false, etc. Why do I ask you this, DirectLife Coach Jen? I know that Philips is one of the leading companies in the field of robotics, and I've been a little bit worried that I'm corresponding with a robot trainer. After all, you can't possibly coach all the people who are no doubt signing up for this activity-boosting service. So I figure this exercise will blow your robotic brain up if, indeed, you are a robot. If you're not, well, better safe than sorry, huh?

And I noticed that you skirted the sex question ("Where do you put the monitor when you don't have pockets?"). I agree... it's too soon.

Thanks for the fantastic activity monitoring!

Jack

22 comments:

  1. I don't think I've enjoyed a conversation this much since the one with the Wellsphere guy ... Dr Geoff, was it?

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  2. I want to suggest riverdancing at my next board meeting...

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  3. I don't think Phillips knew what they were getting into when they made you a tester.. So perhaps you can convince them to make a body strap for those 'personal' moments.. you decide what it straps..

    Cheers,
    Missa
    LosingEthel

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  4. Dear Jack,
    I believe if you take the device to the nearest veterinary location they will implant it for you. Perhaps with the charge/battery portion accessible.

    I'm sure a really talented one could make it look like a really cool tat. Or you could as MizFit about her artist...

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  5. I'm wondering if some of those 'low activity' times might be SLEEPING, or something else equally necessary to good health (e.g. extra time in bathroom due to increased fiber intake).

    As for no pockets: try duct tape or Super Glue. Obviously you should be moving at all times or you'll get dinged!

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  6. hahahah. That was hilarious. What a great way to start my day!

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  7. My old company tried to introduce standing meetings... maybe they should bring in "jogging meetings" or "spinning meetings"?

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  8. Bahahahhahah! I do my exercise, but I LOVE being "inactive." If Jen were emailing me, I might have told her to suck it!

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  9. LOL I love these! Looking forward to more! :)

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  10. I wonder what she thinks every time she sees something from you in her in box :)

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  11. Oh my gosh you are hilarious. They, indeed, had no idea what they were getting into. lol

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  12. Um. I wear the necklace attachment when I... Uh... Don't have a pocket. And man, my correspondence with directlife coach Jen is a snoozefest in comparison. I bet she can't believe she gets paid to do this!

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  13. Funny stuff! Riverdancing...hahahaha! Oh, and you said cazbah. lol Thanks for the great read...looking forward to reading more of these conversations.

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  14. Oh my will you keep Phillips on there toes :)

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  15. I was eating my lunch and nearly did a spittake through my nose while reading.

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  16. What's this about peeing in a cup? Will DirectLife Coach Jen be assisting? or will it just be virtual?

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  17. Oh my, she isn't going to know what to do with you, is she? And heaven forbid you should sit still for extended periods of time. Come on, do some office calisthenics! Riverdancing is so 1998.

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  18. Love it!!!! Have you thought of the possibility that LifeCoach Jen may be one of your jealous blogger frineds pissing you off!!!!??? :-)

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  19. you made my day honestly!...but you know what would make my day even more, a picture of you at your daughters birthday party :-) ha ha just kidding!

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  20. I didn't realize that Jen was up for discussing quite so much! BTW, that's what the necklace is for....just sayin'.

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