Dear Jen

Once upon a time there was a small company called Phillips, which developed a magical little gizmo which they dubbed the DirectLife activity monitor. It does all kinds of things, including… okay, it only does one thing. But it does that one thing incredibly, fantastically, magically well: it rests in your pocket or around your neck or in your shoe and it MONITORS your ACTIVITY. Whoever heard of such a thing? The program includes magical online tracking stuff and one-on-one motivation and interaction with your very own DirectLife coach. I had a little bit of a misunderstanding with my DirectLife coach (DirectLife Coach Jen), but now it’s all good between the two of us.

Dear dear Jack,



One thing is for sure Jack, I will never have another participant like you - I completely agree! I am terribly sorry that you received the email and thought it came from me. It was an automatically generated email to give you feedback on your Plan.



I really appreciate you letting me know how you felt about receiving it as I will pass this along to the team here so that we can avoid such confusion in the future. In no way do I want you to feel that our relationship is over. In fact Jack, Plan One is just the beginning, if you'd like to continue this is of course possible. Are you interested in continuing? You can choose to keep at your current target for awhile, or keep at increasing your activity by starting a new Plan. If you are up for it, I have found that many people benefit from trying to maintain their end of week 12 target for a while to really solidify those good habits.



Can you let me know if you are willing/open/excited to continue with the program? I will remain here as your resource to help you along, support you, guide you and motivate you if needed (although you somehow seem to have this nearly bottomless supply of motivation to continually improve).



and Jack... I am very impressed with your progress throughout the Plan. How do you feel about your progress?



Jen


Dear DirectLife Coach Jen,



I should have realized that other email was just another one of DirectLife Coach José's crazy plots to mess with my head. WELL, IT WON'T WORK, DIRECTLIFE COACH JOSé! YOU CAN'T GET IN MY HEAD!



Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your message, too. Do you answer all the emails that come to your spam folder? I'm beginning to think it's a big waste of time, but my mother taught me that if somebody is nice enough to send you a letter, you should be nice enough to write them back. The bad news is that it's a real time suck... but on the plus side, I seem to be winning quite a lot of overseas lotteries! I guess you gotta take the bad with the good...



Of course I'm continuing with my activity plan, DirectLife Coach Jen! As a matter of fact, I have some ideas on kicking things up a notch and... DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS, DIRECTLIFE COACH JOSé! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME BE? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU?



So... I'm happy that we can still be friends, DirectLife Coach Jen. You've taught me quite a bit about the importance of incorporating more activity into a healthy lifestyle while I feel like I've taught you a little something about everything else. See, we make one great team... NO MATTER WHAT DIRECTLIFE COACH JOSé SAYS!



Actively yours,



Jack

DirectLife Coach Jen’s follow-up email was kinda long, so I edited it a little…

Hi Jack,



You have… opened up my eyes… Your blog is…. super. … I… want… to … jump… you.

There were some more words in there, but you get the gist of it...

Dear DirectLife Coach Jen,

When I said I was going to kick things up a notch, I didn’t necessarily mean I was going to be doing more and more activity. I was laid off at the casket manufacturing plant last month and have taken a job as a notch-kicker for a small specialty firm that does a lot of work in the notch industry. The good news is that I get a lot more activity during the work day than when I was testing caskets; the bad news is that my boss Pete is always riding my ass about the poor quality of my kicking. Hey, I’m new at this!

Anyway, I had a few questions about the activity monitor that I was hoping you could clear up.

• I know that you can swim (both underwater and ummmm… over water) while wearing it, but the FAQ section doesn’t say if the gizmo can withstand fire. I do some volunteer work for my community’s fire department, so that information is very important to me. Actually, I just own a fireman’s uniform and show up at fires and run around barking orders. But it’s a lot of activity!

• Am I the only person who, when they see that they just have one more little push to get to the lightshow on the device, simply shakes it until it goes off?

• The device is awfully small and sometimes I accidentally toss it in the trash when I’m throwing away all my loose change at the end of the day. Are there any plans to make a giant version of the activity monitor so that it won’t get mixed up with keys and coins and whatnot?

• Did you hear I’m speaking at FitBloggin’ 11? Are you and DirectLife Coach José coming to cheer me on? More importantly, are you gonna talk to some corporate bigwigs at Phillips into sponsoring me?

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. Pete’s yelling at me again to “get ta kickin’!” so I better put my foot back to the grindstone (some of our top-of-the-line notches are made of grindstone... you really should check out the catalog).

Take care,

Jack

Dear Jack

As you may or may not (or may) know, I was selected to give a trial run to the Philips DirectLife activity monitor, an amazing device that, quite frankly, makes every other activity monitor on the planet look like a dried up dog turd. Anyway, I was assigned my own personal DirectLife coach, and, well... one thing led to another. It was a wonderful few weeks, but... *sniff*... read on...

Dear DirectLife Coach Jen,

I can’t say I was completely taken by surprise when I received your recent “Dear Jack” letter saying things were over between the two of us, but I guess I was a little disappointed in the impersonal tone:


Dear Jack,

Congratulations. You have completed the DirectLife Activity Plan.

Is that all we ever were, DirectLife Coach Jen? A DirectLife Activity Plan? Do you realize how cheap that makes me feel? Do you even care?

I knew when DirectLife Coach José was rubbing it in about how close he sat to you and how shiny your hair was that it would only be a matter of time before he made his move. Damn him and his sexy accent mark and his suave Latin-lover ways.

I gave 100% during our time together, DirectLife Coach Jen. Actually, according to the link to my Results Page, I gave 101% during our time together (1554 calories per day, to be exact). You even admitted that I’m “above the healthy activity level as set by the World Health Organization”. I’ve moved mountains for you, DirectLife Coach Jen, and this is how you repay me...

And thanks for this little jab: “Yet it seems like things have slowed down lately. Now would be a good time to take that extra step. Try not to get frustrated. It takes time to make lasting lifestyle changes. You're on the right track.” If you were trying to make me cry, DirectLife Coach Jen, then mission accomplished!

I once accused you of being a robot, DirectLife Coach Jen, but now I know that's not true. A robot doesn't send this cold and cruel communication to sever a relationship (I know, because I dated a couple of robots in college...).

I’ll forever keep the little Philips DirectLife activity monitor gizmo in my pocket as a memento of our time together, our beautiful long-distance relationship. But I’ll promise you one thing, DirectLife Coach Jen: you’ll never have another person in your life like Jack Sh*t!

Sincerely,

Jack Sh*t

Monitoring My Activity Monitor Emails...

As I may have mentioned before, I'm giving the Philips DirectLife activity monitor a test ride. The best thing about this program is that it gives you access to your very own activity coach that you're allowed to torture all you want...

Hello Jack!

When I read your question on 'This sentence is false', I really had to smile. How can I convince you that I am indeed a person and not a robot? Hopefully by now you feel that you are working with a human.... a human who's here to help you get the most out of the DirectLife program.

I think that I missed a beat when you wrote: "Your challenge is to find some way to make me the activest person I can possibly be."

I cannot make you do anything Jack. It is up to you how you go about this program and how much you change your activity. I am here to support you on this journey. I can give you advice, help you plan, get back on track (if you go off track), and support you, but ultimately it is you who will be making the choice each day to choose activity. You've indicated that you want to increase your activity. I'm here to help you do that.

Sometimes when people begin the DirectLife program they indicate that they are really eager and ready to be more active but when it comes down to it, they are not quite mentally ready to make the choice each day to be active. They like the idea of being more active, but for instance, they physically like the escalator more than the stairs. and thus they still pick the escalator. Where do you feel you fit in this Jack? Are you both saying you are ready and are ready, or do you want to be ready but need some time to figure out what you are willing to do in terms of changing?

The more I understand where you are now, the better able I will be to coach you to a more active lifestyle and I really want to help you achieve that.

I have attached two articles on the negative effects of sedentary behavior (on both active and inactive people) for your reference if you are interested. For me they were really informative and quite surprising. They helped me decide to get up from my desk more often.

I really look forward to hearing from you Jack and wish you a happy and active day,

Jen

P.S. Just as a side note...Philips does do work on brain activity monitoring ;-)

http://www.healthcare.philips.com/main/products/index.wpd
We even have a research project that measures brain activity to prevent day traders from making emotional rather than rational decisions. Find a link here: http://www.design.philips.com/about/design/designnews/pressreleases/rationalizer.page


Hi Directlife Coach Jen,

Where do I fit in, DirectLife Coach Jen? I go "up" on the "down" escalator! How's that for a commitment to activity?

I know what you mean though; a lot of the folks who follow my blog (Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit, in case you're curious) want to lose weight and become more fit, but for some reason can't find in within themselves to take the necessary steps to achieve the success they claim they want. I guess it's easier to just wish things would get better than to get busy and change things ourselves.

I'm inclined to agree with what you say about this program being up to me and what I make of it, DirectLife Coach Jen. I didn't open the attachments you sent because even though I'm now 87% certain that you're not a robot, I couldn't take a chance that you were trying to zap me with a robot virus. I get the point though: activity=good, sedentary=evil. I'm down with that.

I'm curious as to how many folks you're working with, DirectLife Coach Jen. My buddy Tony claims you're his BFF and I see your name on people's Twitter tweets from time to time. I guess I'm a little worried that you're overworked and not having time to get enough activity in during your day. Unless you work at a treadmill desk or are a robot, I mean...

Take care,

Jack

Hi Jack,

(and Hi everyone that reads Jacks' blogs! - in case you do post this email as well). Jack, thanks for the link. It was quite funny for me to read your blog, our interactions and then all the comments. Again, I could not help but smile. To clear up some uncertainty.... it sure is hot here in India! But that doesn't bother me much with my metal parts and all - I just need a bit of greasing every once in awhile.

No, no...I am not a robot, I am not working in India, nor am I overworked with coaching. So how come I happen to have you and all of your blogger buddies as people that I coach? It so happens that my coaching profile matches up best with that of all of you. But I am one of many DirectLife coaches. As a team we have a variety of backgrounds, from behavioral psychologists, kinesiologists, nutritionists, counsellors, and teachers to competitive athletes. If I am ever away on holidays or sick one of them will be available to fill in for me as your coach, if desired. So in time Jack, you may get a chance to meet one of the other coaches.

Now, from your response it sounds like you are both willing and ready to make changes. Is this right? If so, can we begin to look more closely at your activity patterns to find times that you can be more active?

Take Tuesday for instance. I think that was the day that you had budget meetings. Does the lower level of activity concern you? Reflecting back on that day, do you see any opportunities to be more active? Please do let me know.

I look forward to your next email Jack and wish you an excellent and active weekend,

Jen

Hi DirectLife Coach Jen,

What makes you think I'd be putting our correspondence on the internet where anyone could see it (especially when you're being more entertaining than me)?

You want to talk about Tuesday? See, you're spending too much time reading my blog and not paying attention to my emails. That was the day I ran... I RAN, DIRECTLIFE COACH JEN... for thirty minutes without stopping. I was duking it out with the treadmill at my gym, intent on not giving up before it did (we settled on a draw after it became clear that neither of us was giving in that day). Anyway, I had tripped the 5K mark when it dawned on me that my activity monitor doodad was sitting in my pants pocket, which was on my pants, which were in a locker, which was in the lockerroom. So while you think I was crammed inside a locker sitting perfectly still for a half hour, I was actually as active as all get-out. Don't count Tuesday against me, DirectLife Coach Jen. Don't you dare count Tuesday against me...

BTW, I thought a "kinesiologist" is somebody that works on kaleidoscopes. If you've got somebody on staff that does that, I'd like to send in my kaleidoscope for repair. My daughter Pisa dropped it on the floor and now when you gaze through the hole, it looks like it's busted into a thousand pieces.

Take care,

Jack

More Yakking with DirectLife Coach Jen

As I may have already mentioned, I'm currently giving a trial run to the Philips DirectLife activity monitor, a little electronic doomahichey that comes with your own personal coach to aid you in your quest to ratchet up your activity. Please don't leave any mean comments about her, because I'm pretty sure she's reading my blog.

Hi Jack,

Let me begin by saying an enormous congratulations for all of your work on increasing your health over the past 13 months. It is a fantastic achievement and I am really happy for you!

Now, to help me coach you can you please dock your device so that I can see your activity levels? Thank you! Peeing in a cup is not necessary, of course. I look forward to seeing those results and after the weekend I will get back to you with feedback on your activity levels so that we can really get this Jack-coach Jen team started.

Enjoy the weekend!

Jen

PS. Google treadmill desk and you will indeed find that it's out there - and in use! I notice you've stopped docking your Activity Monitor after your Assessment Week. Unfortunately I can't see if you've just postponed starting your program or if there's another issue at hand.

Dear DirectLife Coach Jen,

C'mon, DirectLife Coach Jen! It was my birthday... and Memorial Day weekend. Can't you give me a break from your reckless pursuit of trying to make me the most active man on earth?

I was getting back after it today, but the worst thing happened. Are you ready for this, DirectLife Coach Jen? I was wrapping up a 30-minute, 5K treadmill run when it suddenly dawned on me that I didn't have my activity monitor in my pocket! AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

One of the women at the fitness center rushed over with a defribulator and was about to zap me with it when I convinced her I wasn't having a heart attack, but was distraught over having performed activity that wasn't going to count toward my daily totals. What are we going to do about THAT, DirectLife Coach Jen? I thought about taping the monitor to the wheel of my car and making you think that I did somersaults all the way back to my office. Better that then you thinking that I was sitting in a locker for an hour!

Speaking of activity that's not getting counted, what about you-know-what, DirectLife Coach Jen? I mean, I don't have a pocket when my wife Anita and I are rockin' the casbah, so what's your suggestion for claiming full credit for ALL of my activity?

We're really getting to be good friends, DirectLife Coach Jen. Except that I think you should have made more of a big deal about my kick-ass assessment.

Anyway... I'll try to remember to get my lil' activity doodad on me as much as I can, and thanks for all the tips on incorporating more activity into my day. My poor old body's not going to know what hit it....

Take care,

Jack


Hi Jack,

Happy belated birthday! I'm sorry that I missed it but I hope that you had a fantastic celebration. and THANK YOU for docking your device. I can now see your Activity Data and indeed you had a fantastic week of activity!

When I look at your Activity History I notice several hours with hardly any movement like Monday the 24th from 7am to 6pm. Yes, you were really active from 6 - 8 but these hours of inactivity still stand out. Since you already do activities in which you burn a lot of calories and seem to be very consistent with them, how you look at the periods of lowest activity in your daily routine is very relevant. Are you concerned about your activity at these times?

During registration you mentioned that you would like to be more active. Are you open to looking at those times of less activity to see how we can increase your overall daily activity? If possible, take a moment and have a look at what your graphs show on Sunday May 23rd and your activity levels throughout the day. What pattern do you see? Do you see this on other days of the week too? What does it, if anything, make you think?

Again, you are really active and did indeed have a kick-ass Assessment so I don't want to take any of that away from you. You are already very active. What I am hoping to do is to help you see an opportunity to be active in a different way, throughout the day.

Until soon,

Jen

Hi DirectLife Coach Jen,

It's a shame that Philips doesn't make a device that measures brain activity, DirectLife Coach Jen. Those big gaps in my day that look like I've lapsed into a coma are periods that are choc-full of brain synapses firing off in every-which direction.

Did you see that movie Good Will Hunting about the guy that could do crazy hard math equations that stumped even the most learned professors? Well, I'm kind of like that (except I'm really bad at math). My point is that I'm often holed up thinking big thoughts (or stuck in budget meetings) and can't be as active as you and I would like. If you think I can get everyone in a budget meeting to agree to take a break and riverdance, well, you're living in a dream world, DirectLife Coach Jen.

I want to run something else by you, DirectlLife Coach Jen. Tell me if this statement is true or false: "This sentence is false."

If "This sentence is false" is true, then it's actually false, which would in turn mean that it's actually true, but this would mean that it is false, etc. Why do I ask you this, DirectLife Coach Jen? I know that Philips is one of the leading companies in the field of robotics, and I've been a little bit worried that I'm corresponding with a robot trainer. After all, you can't possibly coach all the people who are no doubt signing up for this activity-boosting service. So I figure this exercise will blow your robotic brain up if, indeed, you are a robot. If you're not, well, better safe than sorry, huh?

And I noticed that you skirted the sex question ("Where do you put the monitor when you don't have pockets?"). I agree... it's too soon.

Thanks for the fantastic activity monitoring!

Jack

Touching Base With My DirectLife Coach

The folks at Philips recently sent me a DirectLife activity monitor to try out. What's more, they hooked me up with my own coach to guide me through boosting my activity levels. I think we're off to a great start...

Hi! I'm Jen, your DirectLife coach. What would you like me to call you? Your email address is Jack - shall I call you Jack?

You are just about done your Assessment and I wanted to touch base as you begin your Plan. Sometimes people are surprised by their Assessment results and if this is the case for you please do let me know so that I can ensure it all makes sense as you get started.

I notice that you indicate that you are already active 5 times a week (at least). What activity do you currently do? You also indicate that you would like to increase your activity. What do you envision adding to your days to increase your activity? Taking a look at your goals you wrote that you want to challenge yourself, control your weight and become fitter. Do you have more specific goals that you are working towards?

Do let me know when you have some time to write and I look forward to being your coach in the program. Have a fun and active day!

Jen

Hi DirectLife Coach Jen,

Sure, you can call me Jack, since you now know more about my activity levels than anyone on Earth.

Yes, I put down my goals as "challenging myself, controlling my weight and becoming more fit" but my master plan is to become the most active man in the history of the world, so you've got some work to do! (unless my assessment shows that I'm already the most active man in the history of the world, in which case... go help somebody else!)

What activity do I currently do? I lift weights. I run. I play basketball. I do laundry. I take the stairs. I ride my bike. I root around on my hands and knees looking for the remote. I play with my daughter Pisa. Pretty damned active I'd say...

How will I get activer? I mean, more activer? Wait, that's not right... I don't know, DirectLife Coach Jen. I guess that's where YOU come in. Your challenge is to find some way to make me the activest person I can possibly be.

One question: is it a problem that I hooked up my activity monitor to my dog Dip's collar one day this week to try to bolster my numbers? It seemed like a good idea until Dip got out of the backyard and I wound up chasing her all over the neighborhood. I wish I'd been wearing my activity monitor, let me tell ya!

Well, thanks for getting in touch, DirectLife Coach Jen. I hope this is the beginning of a beautifully active friendship!

Take care,

Jack

Hi Jack,

Game on! Your master plan is....hard to measure. Who is currently the most active man on earth? Well, it could be you - I can't tell yet as you have not docked your device to upload your activity data. But, let's just say it's not you, then who are you aspiring to beat? Taking a look at some of the Tour de France riders' training schedules may mean that you will have to drop your day job and train, train, train.

However...I imagine that you would still like to keep some consistency to your current days so what my task with you is figure out how to help you become more active in your day to day. Of course you will keep up your current routine of basketball, stairs, weights...(this will help maintain your baseline) so what else is possible? Certainly putting the device on your dog (or daughter) will generate activity when you are sitting watching, but this is not really how this
works...

It's not about the score Jack, it's how you play the game. So, please keep the device on you, in order to get a real read of your activity.

Have you heard about treadmill desks? A few DirectLife participants spend all day working from those. Others have standing desks, take walking meetings, pace when on the phone change their mode of transport from car to bike to really get activity in. They bike on a stationary bike in front of the TV, never take the stairs, (or the moving walkway at airports), and purposely move things from downstairs to upstairs one item at a time to make themselves do more stairs.

Are any of those ideas already part of your daily routine? If not, do any of them sound adaptable to your current routine? I must admit Jack, I am trying to gauge your intent. Are you planning on adding all this activity to your days right away...or have you given yourself reasonable time to become so active? If you do begin to be as active as you can at all times, there is a risk that you will 'crash and burn', meaning that you will start out strong, but then your ability to keep up the activity (or your motivation to do so) will wane and then you will fall back off of the routine. It is much more sustainable to set small achievable tasks to gradually make your way up to being the most active man on earth.

I look forward to seeing your data when you dock and to hearing back from you about the above.

Until soon,

Jen

Dear DirectLife Coach Jen,

Thanks for saying I'm "hard to measure", DirectLife Coach Jen. I like to think that I'm an enigma, rolled up in a riddle, locked inside a mystery and twisted up in a taffy wrapper.

And way to throw cold water on my "most active man in earth" goal, DirectLife Coach Jen! When I said that, I meant in the USA, which disqualifies all the Tour de France riders. Besides, they're all doped up. Is it really fair to compare my activity levels with people taking performance-enhancing drugs? Do I need to pee in a cup, DirectLife Coach Jen, because I'm prepared to do just that.

My old basketball coach (Coach Sam) said that same thing to us: "it's not about the score, Jack, it's how you play the game." Well, the Spartans beat us 117 to 14 that night, so I'm not sure I quite agree with either one of you. That's one strike, DirectLife Coach Jen (not that I'm keeping score).

I'll agree with you that putting the monitor on the dog was a big mistake. He just naps in the sun room most of the day anyway...

Treadmill desks? Pardon me for asking, but are you drunk, DirectLife Coach Jen? That's just crazytalk. What's next? Elliptical beds? Stairmaster fridge? Fred Flintstone car? C'mon, I live in the real world...

We don't know each other very well yet, DirectLife Coach Jen, so it doesn't hurt my feelings that you suggest that I could possibly "crash and burn" by setting my activity goals so high. You don't know that I weighed nearly 300 lbs last year and have been on a mission to change my life for the past 13 months. I've cleaned up my diet, incorporated a great deal of exercise into my daily schedule and even blog daily about my health journey. I'm down 90 lbs and feel as though I have a new lease on life.

Maybe I can't really be the most active man on the planet, but let's at least see what we can do about getting me in the top 10.

I'm pumped up! Let's do this! Nothing's gonna stop the Jack-DirectLife Coach Jen team!

Have a great Memorial Day weekend.

Jack