Sunday, June 20, 2010

You Know I'm Right...

Weekly weigh-in: 206.4
Loss: -0.2
Total loss: -86.4
Emotion: Sardonic


It's a proven scientific fact proven by scientists: it's a lot easier for women to lose weight than it is for men.

For example, it's not uncommon for a woman to lose seven or eight pounds in a single day after giving birth.

And look at the other obstacles men have to stare down in their struggles with the scale.

  • Men are paid more than women (often for the same job) so that means we have a lot more disposable income with which to buy corn chips, pizza rolls and Starbursts.

  • Men are also targeted with highly effective advertising campaigns that force us to purchase products that are no good for us.

  • Men don’t have that handy “it’s my special lady-time” excuse.

  • The NBA Finals. The World Cup. The U.S. Open at Pebble Beach... there are so many events where men are forced to sit on our asses and watch every freakin' minute on the off chance that other men ask us if we saw an important play.

  • Men like beer.

  • Women get a lot of cardio activity by cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking meals and cutting the lawn. It’s really not fair to men, I tell you.
Given all the obstacles put in front of me just because of my gender, I guess I’m happy with a teeny-tiny loss this week.

Do me a favor: please don’t embarrass yourself by trying to poke holes in my “losing weight is easier for women” argument either. I thought about turning comments off for this post, but I didn’t want to rob you of your opportunity to congratulate me on my loss.

Okay, give it to me (the praise, I mean…)

43 comments:

  1. As I head off for my WW meeting, knowing, full well, that I probably will NOT lose anything this week. Not even a skimpy .2. In fact, I may even gain. And not because I didn't "work the program." I worked the sh*t out of the program. Anyway, as I head off this morning, I want to thank you for the giggle. You probably just saved the life of the guy in the 3rd row who will lose 7 pounds this week and only had 3 beers last night.
    Happy Father's Day, Jack!

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  2. I got a nice chuckle out of this. Thanks you:)

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  3. Yep. Still adore you, Jack.

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  4. Thanks for once again being the voice of reason!

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  5. I just got lovely husband to read this over my shoulder and he shot tea over my keyboard laughing......

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  6. The good news is. that .2 is the lion's share of a stick of butter -- for some reason, looking at it as an actual physical manifestation reminds me that regardless of the numerical value, a loss is a loss.

    No, I don't do the same thing for gains for some reason...

    and I'm glad I'd finished my coffee before I read this... hee! Happy Father's Day, Jack :)

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  7. a loss is a loss, no matter the actual number. gratz :)

    and thanks for the giggle...as always. :)

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  8. Congrats on the loss Jack!

    Thanks for making me smile :)

    Hope you have a wonderful Father's Day!

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  9. Congrats on the loss Jack!

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  10. Awesome loss, Jack! :)

    I apologize to you and every other man to whom I've wrongly applied the but-you're-a-guy-and-it's-easier-for-yo label. I didn't realize the overwhelming obstacles you all faced. Thank you for showing me The Way.

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  11. What an awesome Father's Day post! You said what no one else has dared to say. It is easier for women to lose than men...Thanks for setting the record straight.....

    Happy Father's Day

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  12. Love this post! And my fiance loved it even more!! Congrats on the loss!

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  13. It's official. I hate you.

    Happy Father's Day.

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  14. Nice! I love the humor you bring to your post, and congrats on your loss. Man, this was funny - I almost hope someone takes it the wrong way to posts a comment.....

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  15. Happy Father's Day ... and congrats on your progress this week. =)

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  16. I am so proud that you were able to overcome all of these obstacles and still lose weight this week! My heart goes out to you. Now, I have to go clean the house while you have a beer. :-)

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  17. Wow. I am so sorry you have it so rough. Considering that, your journey so far is AMAZING. However, I do believe that you left out an inflamed prostate which can make it difficult to urinate and therefore leads to fluid retention.

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  18. Congrats on your loss & Happy Father's Day.

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  19. I say celebrate the small losses! WHOOHOOO TO YOU JACK! :)

    Oh and PS...I need to book a Dr. visit ASAP- I might be a MAN! lol

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  20. "It's my special Lady-time"???? Too funny!!!! And yes, it is an excellent excuse.

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  21. This was a good one! Except I think you'd look so cute in a French Maid outfit, cleaning my house...

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  22. As men, we also own and control almost everything on the planet. That gets tiring, too.

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  23. Grats on the loss, Jack. Did better than I did this week, which was nada.
    Hope you have a wonderful Father's Day!!

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  24. Brilliant Father's Day post. The only day you could have pulled this one off. And thanks for the excuses, unfortunately I need them this week.

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  25. Happy Pappy Day!

    A loss is an awesome gift! Better than a tie...

    -jafg

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  26. Happy Father's Day you big loser...I say that with love!

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  27. Great as usual. Men also have the ability to judge when it's time to lose weight better than women do: A woman decided it's time to lose a few pounds when her waistband gets snug. A man decides it's time when he can't fit in his car. Men are so wise!

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  28. Love it, i'm going home to scrub, dust, wash, clean, vacume and mop right now!

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  29. That toally made me crack up!!

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  30. Then there is the weight of all that responsibility that men carry around, things we wimmin just don't have to worry about...like money and stuff.
    Good job jack.
    I'm in silent awe.
    I'll be awaiting more of your man words tomorrow.
    Go get em stud.

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  31. Don't forget the fact that men have to consume more calories in the first place, so therefore have to work that much harder to get rid of those extra calories..

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  32. Holy shit I'm a man and didn't know it! US open? There. World Cup? Damn strait. Beer? You bet your ass.

    Forget my ability to lose .2 this week, I'm off to find my penis now. I want to play with it.

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  33. Yes to that loss!!!!!!!!!!! I congratulate you on showing all people that it is HARDER for women! Thx JS for knowing that there are differences!!! You are great! Your wife is a lucky lady!!!

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  34. Sheesh, Jack, you forgot that women get extra exercise taking care of the kids and their husbands. The calories I burn hunting down my husband's socks, I tell you. And when I carry my neices about, I'm basiclly working out with 30 pound weights. It's just not fair for my husband. ^.^

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  35. Mwhahah, that's why I love your blog.

    "Men like beer." LOL!

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  36. Way to go on the lose Jack!!! I smiled through this whole post because I know us women are always saying you men lose weight easier lol. Good try at trying to find some fun facts of your own why we are wrong. But then you know us women are never wrong lol.

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  37. Guess I need to give birth to a couple more kids :)

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  38. lol. everytime. I never know what to expect except that I know I will leave your post with a smile on my chubby face :D

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  39. It took courage to finally say it all in public...I've felt so persecuted for my difficulties in losing weight...thanks man...for men....man.

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  40. HA! you are so cute. so funny, i laugh out loud at your posts. i'm down almost 60 in 30 weeks, but ive been STUCK for an entire month. so depressing! 30 to go, gonna change things up and start over. not gaining, but not losing. so mad!

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