Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Meanwhile, on Sh*tagain's Island...

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful year.
That started from this interweb
Aboard this blogosphere.

The mate was a write-y blogging man,
The skipper too fat, you know.
Five others boarded the ship that day
For a new reality show.
A new reality show.

The premise was a bunch of fatties,
Left on an island by a crusier.
It’s a little bit like a cross between
Survivor and The Biggest Loser.
Survivor and The Biggest Loser.

The ship set ground on the shore of an
Uncharted desert isle.
With Sh*tagain.
Sam the Skipper, too.
The married couple, from Team Giles.
The blogging star,
No More Bacon and Merry-Ann,
Here on Sh*tagain’s Isle.

No beer, no cake, no candy bars,
Not a thing that tastes too great.
Like Oprah every couple of years,
They’re sure to lose some weight.

So join us here right now, my friends.It’s sure to be a trial,
For seven starving castaways,
Here on "Sh*tagain's Isle."

Slimmin' Sam

Jen, a Prior Fat Girl

Team Giles

No More Bacon's Ryan

Mary from A Merry Life

Merry Ann: Sh*tagain! Did you steal my coconut crème pie again?

Sh*tagain: Nawwww - ummmnummmnummm.

Merry Ann: I made that for Sam’s birthday!

Sh*tagain: I think the skipper’s coconut-intolerant.

Merry Ann: How in God’s name have you not been voted off the island yet?

Sh*tagain: I’ve got an alliance with Ryan.

Merry Ann: He got voted off last week.

Sh*tagain: Are you kiddin’ me?

Merry Ann: You voted for him to go, dumbass!

Jenn-Ger: What’s up, kids?

Sh*tagain: Just chillin’ like a villain.

Jenn-Ger: What does that mean?

Sh*tagain: I never know what anything means…

Sam: Sh*tagain! I thought you were going to collect firewood.

Sh*tagain: I was saving my energy for my afternoon workout.

Jenn-Ger: Where are Rodney and Lauren?

Sam: Team Giles? They’re on the beach… um… getting a little… um… frisky.

Sh*tagain: Those two need to get a hut.

Merry Ann: I don’t see how it’s fair that they got to come to the island as a couple.

Jenn-Ger: You’re just mad cuz they didn’t invite Kepa.

Sam: That wouldn’t have been fair because he’s used to living on an island.

Sh*tagain: New Zealand’s a city in Australia, dumbass.

Merry Ann: Look, just drop the subject. We've got another challenge coming up this afternoon.

Sh*tagain: Anybody want to be my "challenge buddy"?


Sam: I doubt it, Sh*tagain... especially after what happened to Ryan.

Sh*tagain: How was I supposed to know that he was gonna use that scuba tank?

Jenn-Ger: Why'd you let all the air of it anyway?

Sh*tagain: I told you! I thought it was a hellium tank and I wanted to talk like a munchkin! What is so hard to understand about that?

Sam: Thank God he got to the surface in time!

Merry Ann: And luckily there was some room in Ryan's brain for a couple of air bubbles...

Sh*tagain: Look, we can play the "blame game" all we want...

Jenn-Ger: Well, that's the only game we have left since you lost the deck of cards...

Sh*tagain: However, I came here to focus on my exercise and my diet.

Merry Ann: Is that why you ate Sam’s birthday pie?

Sam: What?

Sh*tagain: Ix-Nay on the Ie-Pay!


Sh*tagain: Ummmm... I think I'm gonna go for a jog around the lagoon...



  1. "like Oprah every couple years"

  2. LOL Where the heck do you come up with this stuff??

  3. oh Jack.. I love sh*tagain's island. I think it's my favourite show on this channel.

  4. I can't wait for the next episode!

  5. let me know if you're ever doing casting calls again... :)

  6. Jack!!! You are just too clever for words. I was singing the whole way through. Looking forward to the next episode as well.

    I don't think anyone does a song like you.
    Paula aka paualwannacracker

  7. I've always wanted to look like Gilligan, but instead, have always looked like Skipper!

  8. Hahahhahaa!!! Thanks for the funny!

  9. Big Clyde took my joke... only by a couple of hours though.

    Very funny... I was just thinking about this show earlier today--- I think I was thinking about Ginger and Mary Ann...... No, I heard something about quicksand and of course this was the first thing I thought of.

    Do fat people sink quicker in quicksand?? This is something that I would expect Jack to know.

  10. Does Kepa know you think he lives in a city in Australia?

    Your Island is much more fun than survivor thank-goodness.



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