Sunday, September 20, 2009

Smarting But Not Smart

Weekly weigh-in: 223.9
Loss: +.4
Total loss: 67.6 lbs.
Emotion: Bent out of shape

I’ve been dreading this post all week.

I feel like I spend most of my time here up on a stage, but on Sundays I invite everybody over to the house for a more informal get-together. Only this week, the sink’s full of dirty dishes and there’s underwear strewn all over the floor.

On Tuesday, I was getting after it on the basketball court again, still not 100% recovered from my whacked back. I was on the mend and feeling pretty good, until I overdid it and learned an important lesson: I’m a dumbass. Yes, I aggravated my back injury, and I’m struggling to stay upright these days. What’s worse, nobody gets any sympathy for their third-degree burns when they rush back into the burning house to save their Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.

So, bent and in a considerable amount of pain, I made an appointment with the acupuncture clinic that my wife Anita has been raving about lately. I wanted to see if there was anything to this Dr. Ly and his ancient Chinese secret.

Soon I’m stripped down with a dozen or so needles poking out of my back and trying to decide if this was a mistake or just a bad idea. They proceeded to strap electodes to the needles to shoot me full of electricity for a half hour, then heated the needles, rubbed my back with something called “woodcock oil” (hmmmmm, happy ending coming up?) and finished up by slapping big suction cups on my back to “draw inflammation out.” It's the surreal deal.

After two sessions, I wasn’t seeing a lot of improvement, and actually had a scary setback. I shuffled into the bathroom in the middle of the night to take a whiz. While taking care of whizness, I suddenly started having back spasms and couldn’t get in a position to make them stop. I eventually slumped against the wall and passed out, apparently. Anita rushed in and, seeing me sweating profusely and glassy-eyed, immediately started sweating profusely and went glassy-eyed herself. She got it together enough to get me a cold rag and help me ease onto my back, which had locked up tight. Pisa came in, assessed the situation, and with typical 10-year-old empathy, said “I think I’ll go to the bathroom upstairs.”

Forty-five minutes later, I had inch-wormed myself back to bed and mentally wrote this week off. I need some serious heal-thyself time, so that’s what I’m doing. For me, it’s infuriating because it’s so much harder to eat right when I’m not getting my sweat on. Not exercising keeps my stress level higher, too, as well as affecting both the quantity and quality of my sleep.

So this is my fifth straight day of slowing down and letting myself heal up. I know I have to do it and I know I have all the time in the world to get this weight loss show back on the road. I’m feeling better each day, but I’m going to take it slow and easy (even if taking it slow and easy is the last thing I want to do).

There's another dangerous "dark side" to all this on-my-butt downtime, too. Get ready for some l-o-o-n-n-g posts here this week. Hey, if I've gotta suffer, I'm going to make sure I'm not the only one...







50 comments:

  1. We had to hear about your underwear strewn all over the floor, and your taking care of whizness all in one post. Interesting indeed!

    Back problems suck thats for sure. I hobble around like an 80 year old lady without a cane or walker most days....acupuncture did help the muscle spasms...but only after 5+ sessions and LOTS of $$ later.

    Good luck to ya Jack! Oh I left a comment so it acts as proof that I stopped by. lol

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  2. I am so sorry to hear about your back. How scary that must've been to find you in the bathroom that way.

    I hope your rest helps you heal quickly. I look forward to the long posts, because they always make me smile.

    Feel better!

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  3. hang in there, Jack. You'll be back up and running in no time. Just take the time to get better... allow your body the time it needs to heal. Don't let this derail you. It's the long term goal you need to stay focused on. If you keep doing that, you'll be just fine.

    BTW, I see a great future for Pisa, thinking outside the box like that. Awesome.

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  4. Oh i hope you feel better soon. But make sure you slowly add back physical exercise, you don't want this to happen again!!

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  5. OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
    Gees, Jack, I hope you can find relief from this asap.
    Healing thoughts your way.

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  6. Woah Dang! Feel better soon. Backs are nasty! As Rach said, take time to rest. And never understimate the value of pain killers!

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  7. Ah honey - it's like reading my own posts from 2 weeks ago - granted I got leg spasms instead (which I suspect might be mildly better, and that's saying something), but it's an all round bitch. Can I make a suggestion - sod acupuncture - go see a decent osteopath or physio - either will correct your posture and probably give you ultrasound to help bring down any inflammation and release any trapped or squashed nerves. In the meantime, definitely take it easy, keep shuffling about as staying still will only make your muscles seize up more and look after yourself.

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  8. Oooh - and keep hydrated - the doc mentioned this to me when I went to see her after the spasms - as I wasn't moving around, I'd stopped drinking as much as some of the cramping was down to dehydration - it was a good tip and def helped.

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  9. Take good care of yourself and hope you get some relief soon. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

    Do you have access to a pool? It might be good therapy and you might even burn a calorie or two.

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  10. OH NO! So sorry to hear about this. Yes, take is slowly & do the stretches & things that you can to get back to normal. I was out a good week+++ last November when I was attacked by a dog. I just had to modify my food & be very careful. It sucked but I did it & got slowly back to it & get my food under control till back to normal. Yup, we want to eat under stress like this BUT it is a good test for how much we have learned. YOU CAN! I hope you feel better soon!!!

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  11. That sucks, Jack. I think your idea of taking it easy is the only thing you can do at this point.

    Feel better soon!

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  12. hope you feel better soon, that sucks!

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  13. Hi Jack. So sorry about your back. Hope it heals soon because you know it's not good for you to spend too much time thinking about life, the universe and silly songs.

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

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  14. I'm so sorry to hear about this. My Dad went through a lot of back problems and it's really awful stuff. Take care of yourself and it's good to see you're gonna let the healing begin. LET THE HEALING BEGIN!!! :)

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  15. I'm so sorry to hear about the pain you're in. I suffered from a refractured back rib and I was in tremendous pain - any movement you just want to KILL....

    Take motrin and try never to move (DON'T type too much for spasms will occur). Also take it easy when back up and moving...

    I really do hope it all goes away soon.

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  16. I hope you recover really soon! There is nothing worse than back pain! Take it easy and feel better:)

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  17. You been to my house? Cause you sure described it! :) Take care of that back of yours, and if it means we get long posts, well, we probably deserve it.

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  18. (((hugs)))

    Total bummer about your back - I hate enforced down time too, but you have to do what you have to do.

    Bracing myself for the onslaught of hilarious posts!

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  19. So sorry to hear you're in such pain. I hope your back heals up quickly. I'm sure we'll love every post this week as always *smile*.

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  20. Ouch, yikes and ow! Sorry to hear about your back - stop playing around and let it heal already!

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  21. Bummer, from one back sufferer to another.

    Muscle relaxants like Motrin could help. Lots of acupuncture (read: lots of $$), warm baths, heating pad (but no more than 15 minutes at a time) and my doctor's favourite medicine: tincture of time. That's probably the most important one!

    Hang in there. Looking forward to your crazy posts.

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  22. As someone who has occasionally experienced the same bum back you have my complete sympathy. I'd loan you a muscle relaxer if you lived closer. You know what you need to do so do it because the rest of us don't want to suffer along with you!

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  23. There's nothing like a really hurt back to remind us of how fragile and easily lost movement and freedom is. Its really tough to take it easy too when you are a 'get up and go' type of person. Be kind to yourself, and you will surely reap the dividends. No snacking while resting though

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  24. Sorry Jack. It does suck to not be able to get out and move when you want to. I never understood how bad back pain can be until I was humbled by it myself a couple months ago.

    Your 10 year old is more thoughtful than my 10 year old DS. I would have heard, "um, can you move, I need to take a whiz!

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  25. Please take care of your back. I swear by acupuncture and chiropractic for mine...I go to an ancient Chinese acupuncturist..when he is done, his wife comes in and massages (for a 30 lb 100 year old woman she is STRONG)and just when you think it's over, here comes their 6'5" tall milk drinking son (the chiropractor)to bend you into a pretzel...I have gone for years for my weekly 2 hour torture!

    When that fails I go to the doctor and get some really good drugs :D

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  26. Take it from someone who has deal with a LOT of injuries due to a) thinking he is superman, b) refusing to believe a isn't true and c) training when injured.. take the time off to make sure you are healthy. You only get one body, it'll do no good to get thin if you can't walk.

    BUT, that being said, by god you better keep eating healthy. Food is your fuel, and you still need high quality gas even if you aren't racing on the drag strip.. so to speak.

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  27. I'm sorry to hear you had such a rough week, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who gained this week! Except you have an excuse, and I don't much. Suction cups to pull the inflamation out? That's a new one. Can they pull the fat out that way too? Anyway, hope you are soon feeling better.

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  28. I'm mentally preparing myself for a lot of song parodies involving the word "back" this week. I think than we can both survive this if we stick together.

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  29. Lets help....
    "Back-Man"

    "Baby Got Back"

    "Back in Black"

    "Blue Suede Shoes"

    Okay, no one said I was smarts!

    Get dem pickles!!!!!!

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  30. So sorry your having such a bad week. Hope your back is better soon.

    Ready for the posts, bring them on!

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  31. How scary! I hope you get to feeling better. DO NOT feel bad about this teeny tiny gain. You are doing exactly what you should be doing. And once you are 100% better, whatever you gained will fall right off and thensome.

    I look forward to the long posts!

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  32. I have a bad back myself. It hasn't gone out for a while, but when it does, I go damn near immobile for a couple days, pump lots of naproxen, and heat on my back.

    After about three days I ease back into strolling walks.

    Usually works...but it sucks. Good luck. Can't wait for your epic posts during recovery. You could pop some vicodin so they are at least more entertaining in some psychodelic fashion.

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  33. Well good grief Jack!! Whadya' go and do that for??? I know you're aggravated that you can't work out like you want to....being bed-ridden sucks. And to tell you the truth, not being able to work out at all, and only gaining LESS than a half a pound, shows some awesomeness on your part. Get some rest, do some healing, and I'll say a prayer that you're back in the game very soon. :)

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  34. Sending positive, healing thoughts your way. Get better Jack!

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  35. someone who has back issues can totally relate!

    hope you feel better!

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  36. Back pain is the worst. I'm truly impressed that you're only up .4.

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  37. bring it on jack, we can handle it!

    thats what the blog is for, helping you through the ruff spots. if you're like me, it'll take focus and distraction to stay on the diet without the sweatage.

    if you can master the downtime of healing, then you'll just about have all the skills necessary to lick this problem for good. maybe this is the universe providing you with your final, truest lesson. take care man.

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  38. Sorry to hear about your back JS, take it easy and hope you're feeling better soon!

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  39. I've always had that "You can rest when you're dead" thing going on in my head. So far it's earned me messed up knees, back, various scars, burn marks, dog bite, and likely stuff I forgot. I figure I got one body and I plan to use it up in my lifetime.

    But really think about it. I'd do it all again... maybe with less Oreos. I figure if you never push the limits you never know what they are... and if I never push, I never realy live.

    still I guess at some point we got to stop touching the hot stove huh?

    I'll pray for your health. Take care.

    At Foolsfitness life itself is an extreme sport.-Alan

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  40. Nothing worse than back pain. I tend to sound like a chew chew train. OUCH!

    Feel for ya. Take care ice and heat right?

    You'll be up and aroud befor ya know it.

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  41. wow, hope your feeling better. passing out is some scary business. It must have scared the hoo out of your wife, I know i wouldn't like to see my husband passed out. I hope your on the mend soon and am looking forward to the Jack sh*t 'bored out of his frickin mind' blog-a-palooza.

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  42. Oh dear! Hope you get back to normal soon!

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  43. Sorry to hear about the pain - nothing worse than having it in the back. Wishing you speedy recovery.

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  44. Hope you get better soon!! I've been dealing with some shoulder pain so I'm kinda on the same boat as you.

    Take care of yourself!

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  45. Ouch! So sorry you're in so much pain!

    I'm not sure it would address your specific problem, but I had a lot of success with therapeutic massage. It wasn't that expensive, and two massages took care of the immediate problem. If you decide you might want to try it and would like a referral, let me know. Meanwhile, I hope you mend quickly!

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  46. Wow Jack, I haven't really been following the blogs for the last couple weeks so I didn't know you were hurt. Man I'm really sorry that you're back is messed up, my mom has suffered from debilitating back pain for years and I know how hard it can be to deal with. Hopefully it heals up soon so you can start kicking ass again.

    A little FYI, instead of the Chinese suction cup guy, you shoulda had the 80 pound Japanese girl do some jumping jacks on your back, or maybe some tap dancing, probably would've had a happier ending.

    Good luck Mr. Sh*t

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  47. "Woodcock Oil?" Hmmm. Sorry you're down.

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  48. So sorry about your back pain. I hope you get some relief soon.

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  49. yoikes. (reading backwards today to catch up)

    sorry! hope it's getting better!!

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