If I were a betting man (and mind you, I am), I’d have to place a nice little wager on me gaining this weight back again one day. I know that sounds bad and oh-so-uninspirational, but all I have to go by is history. My past actions indicate that, at some point in the not-too-distant future, I’m going to lose my mind and, for absolutely no good reason, pack the pounds on one more time.
I blame a fellow blogger for planting this seed in my brain. M at My Three Month Okinawa Diet recently dropped an amazing amount of weight in a jaw-dropping time frame. Of course, I attribute a great deal of his success to the fact that (1) he measures himself in kilograms instead of pounds, and we all know losing pounds is much more difficult than losing kilograms, and (2) he’s been living in Japan where they don’t have any real food. Anyway, he made his goal weight and kind of dropped off my radar. Good for him, I thought
Then all of a sudden, he was back. After just a couple of months, he had gained back over 50 lbs. Yikes! In his post detailing just what the hell happened, Michael shakes his head at the gain, dazed and dumbfounded that he lost focus so quickly and completely.
I know it can happen to me, too. Given my past, I’d have to conclude that it’s likely to happen to me as well. I exude confidence these days, but I’ve exuded confidence in the past, and then something inside my faulty wiring kicked in and… well, let’s just say “mistakes were made.”
So who’s to say that history isn’t going to repeat itself, as history has been known to do with frightening regularity? Who’s to say that I’m not going to pull an encore of my past weight-loss performances and finish right back where I started? Who’s to say I’m not going to gain it all back… and then some?
I’ll tell you who.
Might be whom.
I’ll tell you who or whom: me, that’s who or whom.
This isn’t like any other rodeo I’ve been to before; this is some whole different altogether something-something. I’m losing, but the losing is a by-product of changes I’m making in all aspects of my life. There’s no end to this road, no finish line to cross and celebrate at, no destination to mark the end of the line.
People ask me what my goal is, what’s the weight I’m shooting for. When I began this trek, I threw up those playful “milestones” on the side of my blog because, truthfully, I had no idea what I had in me at that point, had no specific number I was targeting. Now, five months later, I have less of a final number in mind than I did back then.
I’m 6' 4" and I’ve seen my “ideal weight” listed as anywhere from 180 to 210 lbs. I’m just planning on keeping up what I’m doing and see where the scale takes me. Honestly, I’d lock it down right here if I could make certain that I wouldn’t spring back up in the days to come.
This blog… this ridiculously foolish time-waster of a blog… deserves a lot of credit for helping me maintain my laser-like focus and for my somewhat steady series of successful weigh-ins. For better or worse, I’ve committed to being accountable in this space. I may not use it as a daily diary like some do, but it helps me steer the ship and be mindful of icebergs that may be lurking just below the water’s surface. If there’s something new in this space (and mind you, there’s been something new in this space every day since Easter), you can be certain that my weight loss efforts are still bubbling and boiling on the front burner.
And that leads me to the last component in why I’m planning to lose that bet about gaining it all back: you. I get so much support and encouragement, both here and in emails, that gaining the weight back has been the furtherest thing from my mind of late. I’m not going to gain it back because I know that if I keep posting, if I keep this blog chugging along, you won’t let me gain it back. You’ll poke and prod me, you’ll lift me up when I stumble and you’ll give me a stern talking-to when I need it most. Keeping your eyes on the horizon is a bit easier when you know friends have got your back.
M’s back on plan these days, living and losing in the land of the rising sun. But this go-round, he’s factoring in that yo-yo tendency, bracing for the rocky road of maintenance.
He’s not done, but like me, he’s already making plans for what comes next.