My waist was too fat,
No one could save me but me.
Strange that I let myself go on an overeating spree.
I never dreamed that I'd weigh as much as I do,
And I never dreamed that I'd gain a pound or two.
No, I don't want to gain a pound.
No, I don't want to gain a pound.
This week.
What a wicked gain today.
You hate to feel this way.
What a wicked gain, boo hoo.
Why’d the scale do that to you?
What a wicked gain, you say.
Look at how much you weigh.
What a wicked thing you done...
You ate a honeybun.
And you don't wanna gain a pound.
And you don't want to gain a pound.
Today.
Waist was too fat,
No one could save me from me.
Strange that I treat my body just like it were debris.
I never dreamed that I'd gain this much this week.
I never dreamed that I’d do this to my physique.
No, I don't wanna gain a pound.
No I don't wanna gain a pound.
Do you?
Do you?
Nobody.... loves... no gain.
True story: I went to see Chris Issak at an outdoor concert last year (I had free tickets), even though I only knew two of his songs: “Wicked Game” and “I Don’t Want to Fall in Love.” It turns out that they were both the same song. D’oh!
lmao....don't you hate that...then you spend the whole show waiting for the one song you know and they screw it up by making it different cause they are bored of singing it...I'm surprised lee greenwood hasn't done a rap version of "I'm proud to be an american'...
ReplyDeleteNice song rewrite, subtle.
D'oh ho ho ho ho! Funny stuff as always. The video clip added the icing to the cake.
ReplyDeleteI used to religiously watch The Chris Isaak Show on Showtime. Then they cancelled it. Now I'm desperately seeking a new religion.
ReplyDeleteOmg- I'll never forget seeing that music video on VH1 and finding it so sexy but so naughty because I was only a youngin' back then ;-)
ReplyDeletethis deserves a standing ovation my friend!
ReplyDeleteLOL @ What a wicked thing you done...
ReplyDeleteYou ate a honeybun.
This is my theme song for the past 3.5 weeks of my life. But look out cuz mama's got a new pair of shoes! thanks for the laugh and encouragement, as usual!!!
Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff, especially the part about the 2 different songs you knew by Chris Isaak! So funny!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the giggle Jack! Last night, I sang your lyrics to Yesterday for my mom. She thinks I'm nuts for singing it, but it is a far cry from actually being nuts enough to dream it up!!!
ReplyDeleteHehe.. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI would tell you how much I loved this but I feel like I'm repeating myself because I always love your songs so I'm not gonna say it. Nope. No praise from me this time, bucko.
ReplyDeleteClever as always, but uh, what was she wearing in the first part of the video? A diaper?
ReplyDelete(I will, however, say that Chris Isaak is mighty yummy and thank you for that!)
ReplyDeleteChris Isaak's nose reminds me of Archie.
ReplyDeleteReally ... look at it ... you'll see what I mean.
er ... maybe Jughead ... circa the '60's.
ReplyDeletegees will ya look at the time!
Love it! I remember that video too. Chris and the girl were both beautiful. Ok, how about I didnt know that 'Wicked' and 'I dont want to fall in love' was the same song until you mentioned it?? LOL
ReplyDeleteI think I DID eat a honeybun last week. Honeybun. Funny stuff. Now when are you going to do Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit? I dunno, do you apologize to a dead man?
ReplyDeleteI had never seen that video before. Thnks for posting!
ReplyDeleteHow have I missed your blog before now? (Is that the blogging version of "Where have you been all my life?")
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping over and joining mine and letting me know you exist. :)
Ahhh....I had forgotten about my love affair with Chris Isaak.
You never cease to amaze me!
ReplyDeleteD'oh! I thought the same thing until my husband corrected me when we were compiling a list of music for the wedding. Now I don't feel (quite as) stupid.
ReplyDeletea chuckle to start my day, jack comes through again!
ReplyDeleteGoodly done!! Made me laugh, as is usually the case when I click to visit you.
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, honeybun!!!! No donuts for me! (Homer if you did not get it) ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou are too much! I love reading you every day! I remember that song & loved it too!
First time I've seen that video. wow. it's very.. umm provocative. LOVE the song remake. I don't want to gain a pound. not today, not ever again.
ReplyDeleteLove the "boo hoo" What a wicked gain, boo hoo.
Why’d the scale do that to you? yes.. it's always the SCALE's fault. :) :)
I have to know...did you do that whole voice cracking thing as you write this and sang the lyrics. You may want to post an audio.
ReplyDeleteLOL on your comment on my post Jack! I know there are haters out there, but I was born into the Cowboy thing! I really just don't know any better! :D
ReplyDeleteAs always, thanks for the comment, you always make me smile!
ahhh the memories....loved that video..Le Siigh.
ReplyDeletebut wait..Jaaaack..was there a gain this week?
What a wicked gain, boo hoo. Genius!
ReplyDeleteOn my first date with Husband, we were watching some movie with a Chris Isaak sountrack. Don't remember the name of the movie. I think Nicholas Cage was in it.
No gain this week, Lisa. But I get some kind of perverse pleasure out of writing about gains even when I lose weight. When I really gain weight, I don't want to discuss it...
ReplyDeleteAwesome. And your comment at the end was the best.
ReplyDeleteWell, if that video isn't motivation...then I don't know wth is..... Damn..I wish my husband were home right about now..thanks, Jack...thanks so much. -.-
ReplyDeleteGreat lyris btw. :D
This was BRILLIANT!
ReplyDelete