Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Confush*t Say...


Confush*t say...

…person who decide to finally lose weight is thick and tired of it all.
… person who get to big for his britches will be exposed in the end.
…person who only check scale once a month has weight-and-see attitude.
…person who forget to work out all the time may be suffering from Allzfatter Syndrome.
…person who fasts for seven days will find that it makes one weak.
…person who can’t can’t lay off the soft drinks will find weigh-in soda pressing.
…person who eat pancakes every morning find weight loss odds stacked against him.
…person who eat too much all the time will have to try bigger pants on for thighs.
…person who eat too much between meals need to learn how to make snackrafice.
…person who understand about dieting has learned his lessening.
…person need to remind self that it’s not the minutes spent at the table eating that put on pounds, but the seconds.
…couple who work out together are sweat hearts.
… person who cooks beans & peas in same pot is very unsanitary.
…person who has fear of bicycling might need to see cycloanalyst.
…person who buy lots of prunes at grocery store get good run for money.
…person who obsesses about counting calories needs to learn to count blessings.

Confush*t believes there are two kinds of people in this world. The first person is the one who diets and exercises religiously. The second person is the one who eats and does what they want and prays they don't gain weight.

Confush*t's motto:
Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff
or stuff the cheesy puffs.


45 comments:

  1. "…person who buy lots of prunes at grocery store get good run for money."

    HA! I Love it! Thanks for the chuckle!

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  2. A person who can't fit into a restaurant booth quite possibly shouldn't eat there. . .

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  3. Dieter with no funny quips about weight loss doesn't know jack sh*t.

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  4. Can't decide which one I like best - I love them all!

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  5. I was laughing before I even read the post, I'll never look at the name Confush*t the same. I liked:"thick and tired", "exposed in the end" and I do count my blessings too, but thanks for the reminder.

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  6. you always know how to make me laugh in the morning, thanks for another great post :-)

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  7. I've been a bit behind on my posting and commenting of late. Gotta say I've really missed my daily dose of Jack Sh*t wisdoms.
    Too many great ones here to pick a favorite, I laughed my way through the entire list!!

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  8. New word of the day- snackrafice LOVE IT! I am using that one! lol

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  9. Nothing about donuts? Awww, man. ;)

    Hubman will love this list.

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  10. Haha! I'd prefer not to pet anything sweaty, thank you very much.

    Hope

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  11. When your book comes out, I want an autographed copy, please. You are just genius.

    I suffer from Allzfatter Syndrome lately.

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  12. Laughter is exercise for the soul. I'm laughing more and eating less since I've discovered you, JackSh*t.

    AND my soul isn't the only thing I'm exercising these days :-)

    Excellent as usual

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  13. Perfect way to start my day this morning. Thanks!

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  14. "person who cooks beans & peas in same pot is very unsanitary." Does Anita know about this issue you apparently have? :-)

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  15. Jack, I think Jo is on to something! You SHOULD write a book!

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  16. where do you get it all from- brilliant. I love the pancakes one, and soda pressing. Cheered me up.

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  17. Snackrifice ROCKS. :) so do you, Jack.. so do you. :)

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  18. Love all of the sayings!! Especially the quote about soda.

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  19. Confush*t > Confucius.

    There I said it.

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  20. OK, love that motto!!!!! Unfortunately I see a lot of that "second person" & many times they know they are "lying to themselves".

    Thx for the big ole smile as I try to catch up from my playcation which was exhausting! I need a real vacation now! :-)

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  21. Ok Jack! Listen up! *wink* I am having a heck of a time becoming a follower on your page. If you have a follow button, its not popping up on my screen and when I try to follow you on google reader, it says I am but I dont get any updates on my blogger homepage........so whats the deal jack!


    cindie

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  22. oops,,, nevermind,, I figured it out..... I think

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  23. Nice work Jack poo poo.

    I loved them all!

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  24. Very clever! I recently found your blog, and I'm loving it! I'm a new follower.

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  25. Just stumbled across your blog from Sunshine Mama's blog. I am a new follower! Love the soda quote. Love your blog.

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  26. I missed reading your blog.

    I didn't have time for laughter when I was in the black hole of self pity and frustration!

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  27. Loved the 'exposed end'. LOL They're all very clever. Good work, Jack.

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  28. I have a 16 year old that is getting too big for his britches... funny, he is a bit exposed in the end.

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  29. Love that last one especially. I'm definitely counting my blessings here!

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  30. Confush*t?

    How many people do you have in your family?

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  31. I come here when I need a laugh! Thanks!

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  32. I also think that the book idea is awesome. And I also think me getting an autographed copy is an even better idea.

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  33. Another hilarious list, thanks for the laugh!

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  34. THIS is hillarious!!!

    My fave: person who has fear of bicycling might need to see cycloanalyst.

    HA HA HA HA HAHA...I'll be laughing all morning about that!

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  35. I really enjoy what confush*t has to say. I also appreciate how much you care about everyone. I don't know how you manage to go around to so many blogs and touch so many people but I'm glad you came along, you make it a happier/funnier place *smile*.

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  36. Do I have to pick a favorite??? Ok...the pancake and soda lines were the best! :)

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