The Song of Jackawatha



With apologies to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 By the shore of Gimme Gimme,
By the just-served Big-Ass-Nachos,
At his table at Buffalo Wild Wings,
In the pleasant Summer evening,
Jackawatha sat and ated.

All the screens were full of b-ball, 

All the food was brown and fried, 

And before him through the mealtime,
Passed the greasy appetizers.
Beers all golden served by waitress,
Pass the wings, the honey-sauces.
Burning, fatt’ning, almost halftime.

Large below him shown his beer gut,
Sweater tight against his chest.
And in his heart came understanding,
Sparking, flashing in his small brain;
From his place, the food pushed back
Took a long drink of the water,
A healthy future lay before him.
Take another drink of water.

From the brow of Jackawatha,

Gone was every trace of sorrow, 

As he finished off the water,
And had the food taken off the table. 

With a smile of joy and triumph, 

With the weight of expectation, 

As of one who in a vision 

Sees how fit he is to be, (but not yet), 

Stood and strode on Jackawatha.