Friday, February 24, 2012

Health Tips for Pregnant Ladies

• It takes about 55,000 total extra calories to make a healthy baby, so a couple of trips to McDonald’s ought to take care of it.

• Calcium is very important so make sure to get plenty of low-fat/ nonfat milk, fortified soymilk or Milky Way bars in your diet.

• All fish contains mercury, a toxic metal that can cause serious nervous system damage, so whatever you do, don’t go fishing!

• Focus on iron-rich foods, such as iron casserole, chicken-fried iron or iron rings.

• It’s okay to drink alcohol while pregnant, just as long as you don’t mind a few irreversible birth defects.

• This isn’t the time to experiment with crazy, unbalanced diets. Wait until the baby is born to try that new “Donut and Dishwater” diet.

• You should definitely not smoke during pregnancy; however, if you insist on smoking, smoke one of those long Lord of the Rings pipes because I think that would be kind of funny.

• Eat foods high in folic acid but avoid foods high in regular acid.

• If your water breaks, that's a sign that it's time to leave the blackjack table (unless you're really on a hot streak).

• Do not partake in anything that can raise your body temperature too high, such as hot tubs, saunas or watching me dance around the living room in my little cowboy outfit.


  1. Ha...hahahahahaha
    Too funny Jack. Although I really do want to see the cowboy dance now.

  2. Thanks for my morning chuckle. :) And I would like to see the cowboy dance also. lol

  3. You don't have to dance Jack, but please show us a picture of you in your little cowboy outfit.

  4. You make me giggle more than you will EVER know.
    Coming from a Mama of a 5 months old, I sure wish I knew your tips when I was Preggers.

    Come on by Little Miss Mama, I promise the Tea is always served HOT and the Cupcakes have a perfect Icing to Cake RATIO.


  5. Solid tips.. I'll pass those along to my wife!

  6. Good tips.. It is very useful for pregnant ladies...

  7. Hi,

    Thanks for the awesome article! I have a question if you don't mind:

    What is the most natural way to stay healthy forever, I mean, even when you are in your 40s? Thanks!

  8. Very informative & cool tips
    Check also at

  9. You have share such a great and useful tips . Try to eat watermelon as often as possible, knowing its health benefits. It has such a nice flavor.

    Maureen Muoneke

  10. Know all about pregnancy, tips,healthcare for women on

  11. Thanks for the useful information I would suggest that you learn with this video. Be helpful and get maximum knowledge about the Pregnancy. This Video'll suggest you :Pregnancy Week by Week



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