Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sh*t Jack Sh*t Says
If you’re a zombie, instead of brains, why not try half brains and half cottage cheese?
For some reason, almost all overweight African-American women get upset when you call them “Precious”
It’s on like Genghis Khan playing ping pong versus Donkey Kong.
“Lawzy, we gots to have a dietitian. I don't know nothin’ ‘bout countin’ no calories!”
How’d you like to come back to my place and sit on my feet while I do sit-ups?
“Soylent Green is people! And it’s high in fat and sodium!”
Like to eat when you're stressed out? Next time, try having an uncontrollable crying fit instead.
“This is a terrible Farmer's Market,” I told the lady. “It's a garage sale, dumbass,” she replied.
“If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you share with me the training regimen you used to attain it?”
“Don’t go to the zoo today… (flexing) because the pythons are out.”
I could have been rich if my mom hadn't thrown out my old baseball cards. And my trunk full of Krugerrands.
When you “accuse”, you make an “acc” out of “u” and “se”. Remember that!
“I sure look good in these home movies,” I told my wife, Anita. “That's a Bowflex commercial, dumbass,” she replied.
Tip for bloggers: bloggity blog blog blog (sorry, that's all I've got...)
Now Who's The Lazy One? I told you I've got a new post up on the Anytime Health site and you haven't gone to see it yet? What? I didn't tell you. Oh, my bad. I've got a new post up on the Anytime Health site which you can visit by clicking on this convenient link.