Tuesday, January 24, 2012

When Hairy Met Salad

(Jack and Sally at a diner)

Sally: So you’re having a salad?

Jack: Sure, I love salad. Love it! I’m on a diet, y’know.

What kind of salad is that?

Jack: It’s the Bistro Caesar salad with glazed pecans.

Sally: That’s a bunch of croutons.

Jack: What can I say? I’m a cretin that loves croutons.

Sally: And what kind of dressing is that?
Jack: I couldn’t decide between French or Ranch, so I got both.

You know, I get kind of ticked off at people who eat big crazy salads and think they’re eating healthy. Did you know that T.G.I. Friday’s has a salad with 1,800 calories and Applebee’s has one with 93 grams of fat.

Jack: Why are you getting so upset?  I’m eating a salad.

Sally: You are a human affront to all healthy people, and I am a healthy person.

Jack: Hey, I had them leave off the candy corn.

Sally: I just don’t know why you can’t eat a normal healthy salad.

Jack: Maybe because I like my salad better.

Sally: How do you know?

What do you mean how do I know?  I know.

Sally: Because they’re better?

Jack: Yes, because they’re better.

Sally: And how do you know that it’s really better?

What are you saying, that your healthy salad is as tasty as my jacked-up one?

Sally: It’s possible.

Jack: Get outta here!

Sally: Why?  I just want you to eat a real salad if you’re going to eat a salad.

Jack: Well, they aren’t as good to me.

Sally: How do you know?

Jack: Because I know.

Sally: Oh, right, that’s right, I forgot, you’re an idiot.

Jack: What’s that supposed to mean?

Sally: Nothing. It’s just that I think if you tried them, you’d like regular, healthy salads.

Jack: You don't think that I could tell the difference?

Sally: No.

Jack: Get outta here.

Sally: Ooo...Oh...Ooo...

Are you okay?

Sally: Oh...Oh god...Ooo Oh God...Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh God...Oh this salad is so delicious
Oh!  Oh...Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh...Yes Yes Yes....Oh...Yes Yes Yes
Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh... Oh... Oh God Oh... Oh...

Jack: Ummmm…. I'll have what she's having.


  1. nothing like a good blog about food porn to start my day off right... ;) Thanks Jack.

    - Lisa

  2. hahahahaha!! Love it! Point noted. Thanks for this Jack! your posts are fantastic!

  3. This movie is one of my faves & that scene is just about at the top of my list!!! :-) Love it & love the last line! :-D

  4. one of my fav movies and I was just eating a salad at applebees the other day damnit.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Does anyone know if this really works? http://7ddba9q0qepd1k4604pmh6onel.hop.clickbank.net/

  7. Have you tried many thing to lose weight...and not go any result...than mail us and get superb amazing 3week challenge and get rid of overweight and look perfect and smarter. Here it the mail id contact soon on --------- weightlosson@gmail.com

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Need extra help for loosing the extra weight, here to help..
    this is how I did it


  10. Really good information,it was that good that i had to share it on social media relly enjoyed it.

    Let me just give a advice too everyone that want to lose wight. Everything you have to do is just to click the link i will give you now and do everthig there. I have by my self tested it and it rally helped. At lest try it.

    The link is

  11. Hahahahahaha,It was really good. Salads are one of the best ways for getting fit.
    Well there are other things that can be use with salads to get fit even faster and one of the well known product.
    There are many people who achieve what they desire with the help of this: http://bit.ly/2GWkmUz

  12. Good info i shared this on FB

    also if you are look for a easy weight loss try this

  13. Thanks for this amazing post, it is very informative for some of us who would like to lose some weight. It really takes a lot of consistency, hard work and discipline to lose weight especially if it is a health concern. I suffered a lot is the past years due to my weight gain that had led to several health problems. From my doctor’s advice, i needed to lose some pounds or i die due to hypertension and diabetes. It was an emotional moment in my life, i looked at my child and cried, there was no way i could leave him. I continued with my health and fitness classes on a daily basis as well as a Red Tea Detox program recommended to me by my doctor. You can take a look at it here https://tinyurl.com/ybfnga39 . As i speak, am not the same again, i have lost the designed weight and am happy i had a second chance to live. Thanks to the Red Tea Detox program, i believed it is the major contributor to my health loss journey. It is now my everyday tea!

  14. I have had amazing results with the Keto diet and lost over 35 pounds. It is really easy to get started try this https://goo.gl/33emFC

    1. i also would recommend my self experience with which i reduced almost 25 pounds in last 40 days its simple and 2 minutes every day system and it cuts the fat 1 pound per day.
      check it here. https://breakthroughkk.weebly.com/

  15. This diet is asmazing u can easily add this amazing devise to speed up your weight loss

  16. Great blog! Salads are a great alternative for a easy meal and very filling! Try this out as well! Been helping many for awhile now!

  17. i saw this blog and i though can't hurt to take a look so i just came here and google some other products that might help try this it has worked for me https://bit.ly/2IwityX

  18. really all of you are encouraging group of people and felt well being here. great posts.
    i also would recommend my self experience with which i reduced almost 25 pounds in last 40 days its simple and 2 minutes every day system and it cuts the fat 1 pound per day.
    check it here. https://breakthroughkk.weebly.com/

  19. Want to lose weight 1lbs. A day https://bit.ly/2JGieCM

  20. Hey that's an amazing story guys. If you want to lose some fat and get lean you should consider that book from this link : https://bit.ly/2vniYJI . It is perfect I have personally tried it.



Related Posts with Thumbnails