Tuesday, January 24, 2012

When Hairy Met Salad

(Jack and Sally at a diner)

Sally: So you’re having a salad?

Jack: Sure, I love salad. Love it! I’m on a diet, y’know.

Sally:
What kind of salad is that?

Jack: It’s the Bistro Caesar salad with glazed pecans.

Sally: That’s a bunch of croutons.

Jack: What can I say? I’m a cretin that loves croutons.

Sally: And what kind of dressing is that?
 
Jack: I couldn’t decide between French or Ranch, so I got both.

Sally:
You know, I get kind of ticked off at people who eat big crazy salads and think they’re eating healthy. Did you know that T.G.I. Friday’s has a salad with 1,800 calories and Applebee’s has one with 93 grams of fat.

Jack: Why are you getting so upset?  I’m eating a salad.

Sally: You are a human affront to all healthy people, and I am a healthy person.

Jack: Hey, I had them leave off the candy corn.

Sally: I just don’t know why you can’t eat a normal healthy salad.

Jack: Maybe because I like my salad better.

Sally: How do you know?

Jack:
What do you mean how do I know?  I know.

Sally: Because they’re better?

Jack: Yes, because they’re better.

Sally: And how do you know that it’s really better?

Jack:
What are you saying, that your healthy salad is as tasty as my jacked-up one?

Sally: It’s possible.

Jack: Get outta here!

Sally: Why?  I just want you to eat a real salad if you’re going to eat a salad.

Jack: Well, they aren’t as good to me.

Sally: How do you know?

Jack: Because I know.

Sally: Oh, right, that’s right, I forgot, you’re an idiot.

Jack: What’s that supposed to mean?

Sally: Nothing. It’s just that I think if you tried them, you’d like regular, healthy salads.

Jack: You don't think that I could tell the difference?

Sally: No.

Jack: Get outta here.

Sally: Ooo...Oh...Ooo...

Jack:
Are you okay?

Sally: Oh...Oh god...Ooo Oh God...Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh God...Oh this salad is so delicious
Oh!  Oh...Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh...Yes Yes Yes....Oh...Yes Yes Yes
Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh... Oh... Oh God Oh... Oh...

Jack: Ummmm…. I'll have what she's having.

10 comments:

  1. nothing like a good blog about food porn to start my day off right... ;) Thanks Jack.

    - Lisa
    http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. hahahahaha!! Love it! Point noted. Thanks for this Jack! your posts are fantastic!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This movie is one of my faves & that scene is just about at the top of my list!!! :-) Love it & love the last line! :-D

    ReplyDelete
  4. one of my fav movies and I was just eating a salad at applebees the other day damnit.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Does anyone know if this really works? http://7ddba9q0qepd1k4604pmh6onel.hop.clickbank.net/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Have you tried many thing to lose weight...and not go any result...than mail us and get superb amazing 3week challenge and get rid of overweight and look perfect and smarter. Here it the mail id contact soon on --------- weightlosson@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails