Sally: So you’re having a salad?
Jack: Sure, I love salad. Love it! I’m on a diet, y’know.
Sally: What kind of salad is that?
Jack: It’s the Bistro Caesar salad with glazed pecans.
Sally: That’s a bunch of croutons.
Jack: What can I say? I’m a cretin that loves croutons.
Sally: And what kind of dressing is that?
Jack: I couldn’t decide between French or Ranch, so I got both.
Sally: You know, I get kind of ticked off at people who eat big crazy salads and think they’re eating healthy. Did you know that T.G.I. Friday’s has a salad with 1,800 calories and Applebee’s has one with 93 grams of fat.
Jack: Why are you getting so upset? I’m eating a salad.
Sally: You are a human affront to all healthy people, and I am a healthy person.
Jack: Hey, I had them leave off the candy corn.
Sally: I just don’t know why you can’t eat a normal healthy salad.
Jack: Maybe because I like my salad better.
Sally: How do you know?
Jack: What do you mean how do I know? I know.
Sally: Because they’re better?
Jack: Yes, because they’re better.
Sally: And how do you know that it’s really better?
Jack: What are you saying, that your healthy salad is as tasty as my jacked-up one?
Sally: It’s possible.
Jack: Get outta here!
Sally: Why? I just want you to eat a real salad if you’re going to eat a salad.
Jack: Well, they aren’t as good to me.
Sally: How do you know?
Jack: Because I know.
Sally: Oh, right, that’s right, I forgot, you’re an idiot.
Jack: What’s that supposed to mean?
Sally: Nothing. It’s just that I think if you tried them, you’d like regular, healthy salads.
Jack: You don't think that I could tell the difference?
Sally: No.
Jack: Get outta here.
Sally: Ooo...Oh...Ooo...
Jack: Are you okay?
Sally: Oh...Oh god...Ooo Oh God...Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh God...Oh this salad is so delicious
Oh! Oh...Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh...Yes Yes Yes....Oh...Yes Yes Yes
Yes Yes Yes...Oh...Oh... Oh... Oh God Oh... Oh...
Jack: Ummmm…. I'll have what she's having.
