Monday, January 23, 2012

I Am An Italian Cruise Ship Captain

Like Francesco Schettino, I was put in charge of a magnificent vessel and preceeded to run it into the ground.

The Italian cruise ship captain made more than a few mistakes in the disaster aboard the luxurious Costa Concordia, and I’ve made more than my share with attaining (and maintaining) a healthy weight for my body.

The ship was valued at nearly a half-billion dollars, not including the value of all the personal effects of the guests and the vault of cash in the ship’s casino. The value of my healthy future? Limitless.

I Tripped. The captain has reportedly said the reason he was in a lifeboat while thousands of panic-stricken passengers and crew were trying to evacuate was because he “tripped” and fell into the rescue craft. That’s kinda how I feel sometimes, like I’m doing what I think are all the right things but aren’t really all the right things at all when you step back and take a critical look at them.

Get Back in the Ship, Dammit! It has come to symbolize the entire disaster – the furious command barked by a Coast Guard official to the captain to get back on the ship and take command of the mass evacuation.

“Get back on board, for ----’s sake,” screamed the official– a phrase that has now gone viral among Italians on Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites. They’re even selling t-shirts.

It’s also what I’ve been telling myself lately: get back on board, for ----’s sake!

It’s time to get serious about this, once and for all.

I am the master of my destiny, the captain of my soul.

And I’m going down with the ship.


  1. Here's to righting your vessel and the ship not going down at all!

  2. One of your BEST posts yet! Brilliant!

    Now, "get back on board for ---'s sake"!! YOU GOT THIS!!

    The comparison WILL be able to stop there.

    The Jack Sh*t I know from these online blogs will do what needs to be done! He also won't be the one on shore as the ship goes down waving for a taxi...

    ...unless it's an airport taxi to begin his -100# milestone loss of a trip around the world as the reward.


  3. I think it's so important to take that step back and look at we're doing. Often. It's too easy a-ground.

  4. You've got a helluva lot more heart than that Captain ever even pretended to have.

  5. No sinking Jack. Time to get your oars in the water and start paddling.

  6. lol...I think going down with the ship is a bad idea..I say blow up some of them big ass balloon thingies, right it..clear out the dead bodies and debris and set sail? And isn't that the luckiest captain in the history of captains..imagine tripping and falling into a life raft. Wish I were that lucky. Maybe I can trip and fall into a pile of money.

  7. I am no longer afraid of the storms, for I am leaning how to sail my own ship - Louisa May Alcott

    Don't go down Jack.

  8. I want to give you and answer, but the fact of the matter is YOU have all the answers. You hold all the tools, YOU know what to do.

    You CAN do this! I'm here if you ever need anything.

  9. Clint Eastwood would be proud that the line was quoted the way it has been..
    You are the master of your destiny, the captain of your soul.

  10. You are the master of this journey Jack & only you can do it! Don't make the wrong choices! :-) Great post!

  11. I'm going to stay with my ship and evacuate all those useless calories that are trying to sink me.

  12. Why is it the food wins? I fight this battle on and on and on, I know how great it feels to be at a healthy weight, I love how I feel after running 10kms, I know that when there I am on top of the world!... yet food wins? It doesn't taste that great! Its costs! It makes me feel Yuck! It puts me back into that weight landslide that always ends up with me giving up on me, and I wont even mention what it does to my health, long and short term as we all know thats dreaded facts.

    Yep I let the ship sink, over and over and over.

    But each time, I get back behind the ships wheel, set those bilge pumps and do my best to get that ship moving and try again, as what else is there?

    You've sailed that path before, you have the map, you know the journey! and above all you know you are capable of doing it! So isn't it time to get that ship afloat again and get her moving.

  13. That time was must be very hard for every captain when they loss their plain. It is so bad.

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