Friday, June 10, 2011

The Fattysburg Address

Four score and seven pounds ago, we brought forth on this internet, a new blog, conceived in Desperation, and dedicated to the proposition that all men (and women) have the right to be healthy.

Now we are engaged in a great battle of the bulge, testing whether our resolve, or that of any dieter so committed and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield, laden with salty temptations and sugary treats.

We gather here today not to mope about all the weight we have yet to lose, but to celebrate all those pounds that have gone to their great reward. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not stop to pat ourselves on the back – we can not waver – we can not waffle—on this journey (dammit… now I’m thinking about waffles…).

The world will little note, nor long remember, that we once wore pants six sizes larger than we do now. But we can never forget where we started and how important this is to us.

It is for us who seek good health and fitness, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which we have fought so far here and have thus far so nobly advanced.

It is rather for us to continue to be dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that whether we experience a gain or a loss at our weigh-in, we take increased devotion to that cause for which we have given the last full measure of devotion.

That we here highly resolve that the pounds we have shed shall not be regained -- that this journey, and this blog, shall witness a new birth of freedom -- and that good health… of our bodies, to our bodies and for our bodies… shall never perish from our hopes and dreams.


  1. Love it! Except i don't live in Fattysburg any more, and would have called it the Sheddysburg Address for all the pounds I've shed.

  2. you're so legit, this stuff makes my day!

  3. How many pounds in a "score?"

  4. awesome!!!! And...oh noes---WAFFLES!!!! :-D loved this!

  5. Oh dear.... you DIDN'T!

    We must not waffle.... LMAO

  6. If pants were anywhere near as cool as this post is, I'd probably be wearing some right now.

    (You got skills man!)

  7. I really liked that! Both versions!



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