Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Interview with Jack Sh*t's Wife, Anita

JS: What’s it like being married to the “bad boy of weight loss blogging”?
Anita: See, that’s just ridiculous. You are not the “bad boy of weight loss blogging.” I swear…

JS: Okay, let me rephrase the question: what’s it like being married to the “original outlaw of weight loss…”
Anita: Okay, I’m outta here.

JS: Wait, wait. What’s a typical day for Anita Sh*t?
Anita: Well, at breakfast I generally have to sit through a food lecture from a man who used to eat Cocoa Puffs every morning.

JS: Cocoa Puffs are very high in Niacin
Anita: You don’t even know what Niacin is.

JS: Yes, I do. It’s something that's in Cocoa Puffs. Anyway, tell me more about your typical day.
Anita: Why are you asking me these questions?

JS: Ummmm, it’s a surprise.
Anita: For our anniversary next week?

JS: Our anniversary’s next week? Yeeeeees, it’s for a double-secret anniversary project I’m working on. How did you meet Jack Sh*t?
Anita: Why are you referring to yourself in the third person? Bob Dole used to do that all the time; it’s very annoying.

JS: How did you meet… your husband?
Anita: We went to high school together.

JS: Love at first sight?
Anita: Hardly.

JS: Love at second sight?
Anita: You’re getting warmer.

JS: How has Jack… how has I changed as he’s been on this weight loss journey.
Anita: Well, he seems to spend an awful lot of time on the computer.

JS: Writing?
Anita: Giggling.

JS: Maybe he’s in a good mood?
Anita: Maybe he needs his meds checked. Look, I’ve got a lot of work to do. You can do your play interview with Pisa.

JS: Grrrrr… okay, Pisa. How was your dad changed over the past few months?
Pisa: He’s still fat but he’s not as fat as he was when he was really fat.

JS: Pisa, what’s it like being the daughter of the “old-school gangsta of the weight loss blogging community”?
Pisa: Moooom, Dad’s being weird.


  1. This sentence was awesome: "How has Jack… how has I changed as he’s been on this weight loss journey."

    Happy Anniversary next week!

  2. Same kind of answers my family would give, except without the swearing (I have a family full of potty mouths).



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