Monday, October 10, 2011

A Sh*t-blimenal Message

I wanted to write a real positive message today to inspire my fellow weight loss journey-takers, but I’ve been getting the sense that several of them are in need of some tough love, a brutal butt-kicking to help get them back on track. Since I’m entirely too lazy to write two posts, I’ve gone ahead and put both of them into the same post. If you need the hard stuff, just read the colored text. Otherwise, enjoy a healthy dose of positivity.

You are doing so well. You’ve managed to really stick with it, to suck it up and do right. Really, you have a lot to be proud of, and I hope you are proud. You’re still going to have to put in an awful lot of effort at keeping this awesome momentum going. Are there going to be more tough days ahead for you? Sure there are (though even the tough days are going to get easier over time), but you’ve got what it takes to keep going strong, keep trying to be the best possible “you” you can be. You know that to be true, but sometimes you need to hear it again to make sure you don’t lose focus. This weight loss journey you and I are on is difficult, and I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that if you keep your drive, you keep your determination, and really keep your eyes on what’s important, on what you really want out of this life or this lifetime, there’s no possible way for you not to succeed. You may just be starting this journey or you may have been on it for decades, but all that matters is that your future is right here, and it’s right out in front of you. This is your time. This is your opportunity to shine, to finally get to be the person that you know is inside you. What you’re doing is going to make a difference; it really is.

Get busy doing what it takes, whatever it takes, to reclaim your life. Don’t give it to anything that starts eating away at your drive to get this done. The past is water under the bridge, and all your can control is your future. Start believing you’re moving towards your brand new life–a life that isn’t defined by being fat– and, the next thing you know, that’s exactly where you are. Sound simple? You bet your sweet ass it is. That’s because you already know what to do. You’ve got brains and you’ve got the willpower. Let’s agree on one thing: you’ve got everything you need to get what you want and make this happen. You’ve got too much going for you to fail. It’d be selling yourself short not to give it everything you’ve got, and we both know you’re not stupid. Nobody is going to lump you in with the folks that aren’t going to give their all to get this done. You’re special!

If we’ve learned anything on this journey, it’s that you can’t succeed if you don’t put in your best effort. We all want the same thing: to take our life and make it all that it can be. That’s why we give it all we’ve got, make the sacrifices we make and own up to our true potential. When our head’s in it, the game’s already half won. You’re in this to win it; no more wasting chances when you’re worth so much more. This is your time. It really is, my friend. It’s your time to be fulfill everyone’s best wishes for you. It’s time to make it happen.

It is wonderful that you’ve made such fantastic progress, but your life’s just getting started, chum. Shut out all those voices that feed you negative energy and load up on all the positive support and good vibes that’re waiting for you out in the world. Get motivation wherever you can get it and get going in the direction of what you dream (and know) your life can be. Let nothing hold you back and never fool yourself into thinking that you don’t have it in you to do this.

Start small, celebrate your progress and remember that this is more doing some fad diet; it’s a new lease on life and it starts right now. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. It starts right here and now, and week after week, you’re going to make each day count. Today is your day. Right your ship and sail off into the future with the promise of a better tomorrow and the assurance that now is your time, and that your destination is a better tomorrow. Get it together and get going!


  1. LOVE THIS and it brought to mind the subliminal message skits from back in the DAY SNL.
    Do you remember those?
    I pull that all the time with the husband :)

  2. Awesome. This one will go into my list of favorite Jack posts!

  3. I needed a bit of both, so this post was perfect. Doing well (14lb off since 18/8) but beginning to lose momentum. off to move my fat ass now. :)

  4. Awwwww, the whole post is so ooey gooey smooshy lovey...
    I like the short version ;)

  5. Love it! You are funny evil weight loss genius.

  6. Hello there mr jack sh*t..I just finished posting on my blog and almost right after I posted I read your subliminal message post and it was basically what I was trying to say. Only you said it so much better..You really have a way with words, me not so much..So thanks for that!! Just what I needed to hear today!!

  7. I continue to be amazed at the effort you put into your blog! Very enjoyable stuff--thank you for doing what you do.

  8. mh... love the Heineken pic! and I don't wanna brag here, but I live pretty much right next to the old brewery ;-) but I guess that's a little beside your point here....



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