January, 2007 – Well, I’ve been preparing myself for this, and here it is. Just weighed in at 293.6. Pants are tight as can be. Exercise at an almost all-time low. Eating completely out of control. Let’s see if I’ve got what it takes to do right.
– Okay, this is a matter of life and death now. A person in the office
upstairs died in their car from a stroke, a result of high blood
pressure (my bp was crazy high when I went to doc for my foot). She was
48. Throw in my high level of stress and poor eating habits and I’m
ripe to go down early. Yuck. Feel bad.
– Last night of the year. I’m at home with a wrenched back from
playing ball yesterday. This is it. I’m really not doing very well.
Feeling crappy. Eating terribly. Not exercising much. Not accomplishing
much. I’m ready to get it going again. I’ve got to. It’s now or never.
July, 2008 – It’s on like a chicken bone.
April, 2008 – Been
doing decent enough job keeping after it, but still eating (and
drinking) too much. Think I’m ready to have a go at doing better.
January, 2009 – So I’m starting over…
Starting… and then starting over.
Again and again and again.
accuse me of making this weight-loss business look easy, but that’s
because they don’t know that I’ve rammed my head into that brick wall
more times than I care to admit. The dated blurbs above are some of my
journal entries from a couple of year’s worth of failed attempts at
losing my weight. I start with such fervor and focus and somewhere along
the line, I simply lose my way…
Over and over, I’ve gotten a nice running start… and gone nowhere.
I’ve gone back to Square One so many times that I started listing it as my primary address.
I’ve overdone it with the do-overs, absolutely worn out the “reset” button.
I’ve committed myself and re-committed myself, but more often than not I’ve fallen flat on my face.
me, I know what it’s like… but I also understand something else:
there’s no shame in tripping up, no disgrace in falling down. It’s just
something that happens to the best of us, to all of us.
even if you mess it up a dozen times, a hundred times… even if you
start each Monday with freshly minted determination and end each
Saturday night with your arm elbow deep into an order of chili cheese
fries… I encourage you to keep trying, to keep fighting the good fight.
one day that spark is going to ignite, and a rampant wildfire of
inspiration and dedication will spontaneously embrace you, engulf you,
consume you. It will singe your bad habits and scorch your doubts, and
it will blaze a path to a better place.
I can’t for the life of
me distinguish the catalyst that makes one weight-loss journey
successful when so many before it had failed so spectacularly. I wish I
could isolate and identify it when it goes missing, awake and arouse
it when it lies dormant.
But I can’t. All I can do is keep
trying, and hold on for all I’m worth when that spark does catch. Try
to ride that lightning bolt all the way home…
I hope you’re on a
solid path today, your bags packed with persistence and purpose. I
hope you’ve got your heels dug in and your mind firmly wrapped around
what you need to do in order to achieve your goals. I hope you find
strength in your heart, hope and support from those around you and a
plan that gives you every opportunity to succeed beyond your wildest
I’ve seen enough lost causes and dashed dreams to last a lifetime; I want to see you make this happen.