Blog and Switch

I know, I know... you just got here, and here I am sending you off to check out an interview I did for some company that sells something or other.

If you think you know Jack Sh*t, you don't know... ummmm.... well, you don't know as much as you may think you might know...

Whatever! Here's the link if you wanna see it.

Wait, did anything happen when you clicked on the word "link"? Me either...

Dammit! I think I wasted $40 on that "Blogging for Beginners" adult education class. Two nights a week for four weeks and I can't even create a link.

Oh wait... it worked that time. I'm a genious!

THE DAILY SCALEY

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other; 

never put one foot in front of the same foot!

Interview with Jack Sh*t's Wife, Anita

JS: What’s it like being married to the “bad boy of weight loss blogging”?
Anita: See, that’s just ridiculous. You are not the “bad boy of weight loss blogging.” I swear…

JS: Okay, let me rephrase the question: what’s it like being married to the “original outlaw of weight loss…”
Anita: Okay, I’m outta here.

JS: Wait, wait. What’s a typical day for Anita Sh*t?
Anita: Well, at breakfast I generally have to sit through a food lecture from a man who used to eat Cocoa Puffs every morning.

JS: Cocoa Puffs are very high in Niacin
Anita: You don’t even know what Niacin is.

JS: Yes, I do. It’s something that's in Cocoa Puffs. Anyway, tell me more about your typical day.
Anita: Why are you asking me these questions?

JS: Ummmm, it’s a surprise.
Anita: For our anniversary next week?

JS: Our anniversary’s next week? Yeeeeees, it’s for a double-secret anniversary project I’m working on. How did you meet Jack Sh*t?
Anita: Why are you referring to yourself in the third person? Bob Dole used to do that all the time; it’s very annoying.

JS: How did you meet… your husband?
Anita: We went to high school together.

JS: Love at first sight?
Anita: Hardly.

JS: Love at second sight?
Anita: You’re getting warmer.

JS: How has Jack… how has I changed as he’s been on this weight loss journey.
Anita: Well, he seems to spend an awful lot of time on the computer.

JS: Writing?
Anita: Giggling.

JS: Maybe he’s in a good mood?
Anita: Maybe he needs his meds checked. Look, I’ve got a lot of work to do. You can do your play interview with Pisa.

JS: Grrrrr… okay, Pisa. How was your dad changed over the past few months?
Pisa: He’s still fat but he’s not as fat as he was when he was really fat.

JS: Pisa, what’s it like being the daughter of the “old-school gangsta of the weight loss blogging community”?
Pisa: Moooom, Dad’s being weird.

Interview with Hungry Girl Lisa Lillien

I can’t stay mad at Hungry Girl. Sure, she completely stole my idea of having a series of bestselling cookbooks and then parlaying that into a TV show and worldwide fame. That was totally MY idea, Lisa!

But she’s so bubbly and sparkly and effervescent and carbonated that it’s no wonder that she’s amassed such a loyal foodie following.  Despite being a mega-star, Lisa agreed to a no-holds-barred interview… Jack-Sh*t-style!


Jack:  Julia Child once said “The best way to execute French cooking is to get good and loaded and whack the hell out of a chicken. Bon appétit.” Do you have something equally cool to say about cooking?

Lisa: Definitely not.


Jack:  I read somewhere that you originally named your site Hungry Girl because you were born in Hungary? What’s it like being Hungarian?

Lisa: I was born in Brooklyn... But so many people misspell Hungry as Hungary and now I know why. They assumed it was my birth city.


Jack:  Have you ever had a Hungry-Man frozen dinner?

Lisa:  Oh god yes! As a child I lived for the 3 piece fried chicken dinner. I  LOVED when the apple pie goo leaked into the mashed potatoes.


Jack:  What is Salisbury steak anyway?

Lisa: I always wondered that myself. I think it's just a "dinner" hamburger.


Jack:  What’s your favorite condiment?

Lisa: Ketchup. Good old ketchup! Close second and third salsa and mustard...


Jack:  Hmmmm, I’ve never tried salsa and mustard. Would you rather live without sugar or salt?

Lisa: Sugar.


Jack:  Riddle break: You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you just eat?

Lisa: Corn. Or I did a really bad job with a frozen dinner...


Jack:  If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what do you think it’d taste like?

Lisa: Chicken.


Jack:  I heard that you once waited over an hour to meet Jack Sh*t.

Lisa: That is a rumor.


Jack:  What do you do when an endangered animal eats endangered plants?

Lisa:  Cry.


Jack:  Tell me your deepest, darkest secret… something you’ve never told even your closest friend.

Lisa: I once at an entire can of Reddi-Wip.

Jack:  Do you ever get intimidated by the “Cooking with Jack” segments I do on my blog?

Lisa: Define “intimidated”. They scare me, but not sure it's the same thing...


Jack:  What’s the best thing about being Hungry Girl?

Lisa: I get to eat food and taste things all day. Close second? Interviews like this one...


Jack:  Do you ever have the urge to slap Rachel Ray when you’re on her show?

Lisa:  No but I feel sure she would have the urge to slap you because you spelled her name wrong.


Jack:  That was a test... by the way, what’s new with your TV show?

Lisa: The set is BRAND NEW! And this season is more action-packed and recipe-loaded!


Jack:  Don’t you need a funny assistant?

Lisa:  Yes. Know anyone funny?







So You Think You Can Tweet! As I may have mentioned 5,000 or so times, I've been named as one of the Top 50 Most Inspirational Healthy Tweeps. If you feel like messing with it and have 15 seconds of free time, go vote for me here.

Does This Interview Make Me Sound Fat?

Sean Anderson of The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser interviewed me the other day for his internet radio doodad, which wasn't entirely fair because he sounds like a radio talk dude and I sound like a doofus (thanks for using your engineering magic to give me a hillbilly accent, Sean!). Anyway, it's up and running here. While you're there, check out his story (if you haven't already). He's definitely one of a kind.

Interview with Jack Sh*t's Wife, Anita

JS: What’s it like being married to the “bad boy of weight loss blogging”?
Anita: See, that’s just ridiculous. You are not the “bad boy of weight loss blogging.” I swear…

JS: Okay, let me rephrase the question: what’s it like being married to the “original outlaw of weight loss…”
Anita: Okay, I’m outta here.

JS: Wait, wait. What’s a typical day for Anita Sh*t?
Anita: Well, at breakfast I generally have to sit through a food lecture from a man who used to eat Cocoa Puffs every morning.

JS: Cocoa Puffs are very high in Niacin
Anita: You don’t even know what Niacin is.

JS: Yes, I do. It’s something that's in Cocoa Puffs. Anyway, tell me more about your typical day.
Anita: Why are you asking me these questions?

JS: Ummmm, it’s a surprise.
Anita: For our anniversary next week?

JS: Our anniversary’s next week? Yeeeeees, it’s for a double-secret anniversary project I’m working on. How did you meet Jack Sh*t?
Anita: Why are you referring to yourself in the third person? Bob Dole used to do that all the time; it’s very annoying.

JS: How did you meet… your husband?
Anita: We went to high school together.

JS: Love at first sight?
Anita: Hardly.

JS: Love at second sight?
Anita: You’re getting warmer.

JS: How has Jack… how has I changed as he’s been on this weight loss journey.
Anita: Well, he seems to spend an awful lot of time on the computer.

JS: Writing?
Anita: Giggling.

JS: Maybe he’s in a good mood?
Anita: Maybe he needs his meds checked. Look, I’ve got a lot of work to do. You can do your play interview with Pisa.

JS: Grrrrr… okay, Pisa. How was your dad changed over the past few months?
Pisa: He’s still fat but he’s not as fat as he was when he was really fat.

JS: Pisa, what’s it like being the daughter of the “old-school gangsta of the weight loss blogging community”?
Pisa: Moooom, Dad’s being weird.