Sunday, January 5, 2014

I Finally See the Error of My Weighs

So, I found my scale.

Somebody had wrapped it in a bath towel and put it in a used pizza box, then stuck the pizza box in a slightly bigger used pizza box, then put that pizza box inside… okay, let’s just say there were several more pizza boxes culminating in a jumbo, super-sized monster pizza box. 

Anyway, somebody had hidden the scale inside endless pizza boxes and then buried them in the backyard by the compost pile (which, inexplicably, was also filled with pizza boxes).

So anyway…

I found my scale, took a deep breath, tried to remember whether it was luckier to step on it left foot first or right foot first… and then tentatively stepped on (left foot first) and…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (should have gone with right foot first, I suppose).

  • Weight when I first started blogging: 291.5 lbs
  • Current weight: 269.7 (oh hell… let’s just call it 270)
  • Loss: (watch this space)
  • Goal for coming week: Do opposite of everything I’ve been doing recently


  1. oh wow, bummer, but you are a really funny writer! Often my advise to myself is to do the opposite of what's been done (well it's certainly my parenting philosophy) Good luck this upcoming week.

    1. Do you mean ha-ha funny or ha-ha funny? Wait, those are the same thing!!!!

  2. It doesn't matter which foot you put on the scale - as long as you keep the other one firmly on the floor.

  3. Loving your new weigh-ins accountability. Keep going. :-)

  4. Ha! was thinking the left foot would be luckier too! Why do I never remember that? (Right foot dominant).

    At least someone was thoughtful enough to dispose of all those pizza boxes for you. Pity they couldn't have left you the pizza though. ;)

  5. mmmm..Pizza…lol… way to hold your self accountable ! Keep it up!
    Jessica from

  6. Hey, we all fall off the sh*tter sometimes. Just gotta climb right back on! Hang in there!

  7. Oh, noooooooo. I hate when that happens. (I've found my lost weight, too. Only I found allll of it but 3 pounds.)

    Like Lyn siai, "This is our year." We'll get this weight off. Again. For the last time.


  8. You've totally got this!! You can do this. You have. You are awesome. The end.



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