Monday, May 7, 2012

Tips to Live a Healthy Living Life

• When you're making a sandwich, if you replace the bread with lettuce, the cheese with lettuce, the lunch meat with lettuce and the mayonnaise with lettuce, well my friend, you have just magically changed a sandwich into a salad.

• Chew sugarless gum instead of food.

• An easy way to help you drink more aqua is to paint a bullseye on your tongue and give everyone you know a water pistol.

• Hate prunes? Maybe you'd like dried plums instead.

• Don't buy candy apples at the Farmer's Market unless they're in season.

• When you're at a restaurant, simply ask your waitress for 500 calories worth of their tastiest food.

• You can make your own "virtual" treadmill by going outside and walking or running, dumbass.

• Don't eat with your mouth full.

• One way to positively affect your health is to invent a time travel device, go back in time and encourage your mother to hook up with someone with better genes.

• If it's Friday night and you're really just craving pizza and beer; try clearing your mind and... man, pizza and beer sounds really good, doesn't it?  Can we get banana peppers on it because I really like banana peppers?

THE DAILY SCALEY
Let's just pretend that the last week didn't happen, okay? 
Back on track!

8 comments:

  1. You are funny as always! Jack, you need to take you good eating habits on the road. Makes it so tough to have to lose that again.. I know, I am always such a downer! ;-) It is hard but at least trying to not go to overbaord... tough but it can be done! :-)

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    Replies
    1. Right as always, Jody, but I had a good excuse for my lax eating and drinking: I'm a dumbass.

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  2. I don't know why I never thought of any of these! :)

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  3. I didn't think anyone could come up with NEW Healthy Tips... until now. ;-)

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  4. You always make me smile! You are so smart!Good tips!

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  5. Rightly said about life. Nice tips on healthy living and enjoying every moment of life.

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