Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Orifice

So how I normally blog goes something like this…

I zone out while I’m jogging on the treadmill (or treading on the jogmill), and come up with a ridiculous idea for a blog post, such as a parody of the TV show The Office where all the characters are renamed stupid stuff like Slim Halpern (no… wait… make that “Heartburn”) or Diet Schroot.

Then I spend an hour or so jotting down ideas, funny snips of dialog (“That’s what she ate…”)  and some kind of outline for a little story. I also spend a little time trying to figure out a way to shoehorn a tiny amount of actual relevant health information into it somewhere.

Then I spend a couple of hours turning all these pieces into a blog post. I spend a lot of nights sitting in my TV room (“The Spicy Crib”) with a laptop in my lap writing and rewriting. I’ve convinced myself I’m multitasking, hanging out with my daughter Pisa and blogging, but what I’m doing is spending a lot of time on my ass, my heart rate at a bare minimum.

Don’t get me wrong: I love putting together these posts. And on some level, they do help keep me focused on what I’m doing.

But on another level, I’m coming to the realization that I’m spending more and more time on blogging than on what I’m really blogging about (“getting fit”).

I spiked my “Orifice” post and wrote this in 15 minutes.

Now I’m about to hop on the elliptical for the kind of workout that always leaves me hot, sweaty and satisfied.

I know, I know… that’s what she said.


  1. ha ha ha...I LOVE that show. Nice post!

  2. OMG you are too frickin funny!! I think it is amazing looking at those pics to see how much weight you've lost. I've lost about 15lb recently and feel pretty hot. But I do get tempted by chocolate now and again. What's your weakness? Is is beer??

  3. Do yourself a favor and get a nifty little recorder that you can clamp on your head. That way you can dictate your blog post while on the elliptical Just don't type the puff, puff, puff into your post.

  4. Always a message!!! :-) LOVE that last line!

    BTW, yes, many of us do spend too much time on the computer & need to prioritize what is most important - our health says me!

  5. Good for you, Jack. We love the content, but serious blogging does eat into the family and exercise time.



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