Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I’m Sorry, Rolling Stones

video

I’m at the grocery store; my brain says, “Put it back.”
No bags of corn chips, yes, I want to put them back.
I walk down the aisles dressed in my slimmer clothes.
I smile contently cuz I know how this thing goes.

I see a line of carts, and they’re all filled with crap.
I can’t say what I want ‘cause it would cause a flap.
I see people all around turn their heads and look my way.
I need to shop like this until my dying day.

I look inside myself and say to myself, “Jack,
If corn syrup’s in there, man, you need to put it back.”
Maybe then I’ll fade away cuz it’s time to face the facts.
It’s not easy facin’ up when your whole world is fat.

No more will my old bod go to a greater weight.
I could not foresee this thing happening today.
If I look hard enough at that spinning scale,
I start to see the fit guy that lives inside this shell.

I grab some Cheese Whiz, but then I put it back.
I put it up alongside the other crap on that rack.
I see my old life come to a satisfactory close .
I’m living better, hey, you know how this sh*t goes.
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

I wanna keep it, keep it, keep it all on track.
Fit is right, fit is good
I wanna see this fat blotted out from my gut
I swear I’ll never, never, never, never give it back
Yeah!

x

30 comments:

  1. The line about the corn syrup will have me laughing all morning.

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  2. You are too talented! I love this! How did you know that Paint It Black was on my workout playlist?? Guess I have new lyrics for it. :D

    I’m living better, hey, you know how this sh*t goes.
    Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

    I wanna keep it, keep it, keep it all on track.

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  3. what can I say, I love each and every one of these! thanks for all your hard work!

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  4. I learned soemthing new about you Jack: you look at other people's carts too!

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  5. I love it! I'll be thinking about this song all day now! Thanks so much for the good advice you left me today. Hopefully I can push right past the plateau too!

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  6. You know I was hopin for Sympathy for the Devil parody, but Paint It Black is about as sacred of material for us Stones fans as you can get. I love it Jack.

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  7. A great song and a fun and inspirational parody. Well done as always man, thanks for the great read.

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  8. "I see a line of carts, and they’re all filled with crap."
    You are brilliant :)
    Loved this!

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  9. I'm not a big stones fan but I am a big Jack fan, great job!!!

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  10. Haha, awesome! I will definitely be singing this to myself the next time I'm at the grocery store. It's so easy to walk out of there with a bag of Twizzlers and box of Cheezits, with your brain struggling to figure out how the hell that happened!

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  11. Another amazing parody...I love me some cheez whiz....but won't look at it the same way now!

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  12. Yes, Paint It Black will be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. ;) This is very funny. Thanks.
    weight loss

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  13. It's a good thing you put that video there with the music so I know how these songs go.

    Nice parody..."put it back"...you should write a second verse for when we're at home being tempted with the food in our cupboards.

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  14. I will never be able to listen to that song without thinking of you now LOL.

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  15. Dare I admit I hadn't ever heard that song (the original) before? :)

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  16. You are so right about the corn chips!

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  17. Hi Jack. Annoyingly I can't get the video to play so I don't know what the original sounded like ... but then I remembered that all their songs pretty much sound the same so I probably haven't missed out that much ...

    It's the hardest thing for me to put anything back on the shelf ... once it's in the trolley that's it, I'm a gonna. Either my shopping is clean or it's a complete disaster.

    Bearfriend xx

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  18. You know what I like about you? You're just that little bit twisted. ;o)

    BTW, I like the "advice" you've been leaving on 266's blog! LOL!

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  19. OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got to love this & you are NOT going back!

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  20. Love it! Now I have a theme song for grocery shopping. Thanks. And thanks for the bday wishes!

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  21. Wonderful song! I hope that you are having a wonderful December Jack!

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  22. I can't believe I ever thought Cheesewiz was good or even food. LOL

    Great rewrite.

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  23. Just got home from Whole Foods and had to sing this one, too! Perfect. And MAN, Jack. You look GREAT. No Sh*t!!!!

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  24. Did you know that in case of emergency, you can light a corn chip on fire and it has so much grease it will give light for at least 5 minutes...just a thought.
    lol.

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  25. OMG! Paint It Black is my favorite Rolling Stones song...but now I'll never be able to listen to it again without LMAO.

    Thanks for making me smile.

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  26. Only the greatest Rolling Stones song ever...and because of that, I was little worried I wasn't going to like this one. But I did. Good job. :)

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  27. wait
    did sunshine mama just say she didnt know the original song?!

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