• One way to tell if lettuce isn't fresh is to check the color; if it's black, it's no longer fresh.
• You can make your own rowing machine with two long poles and a rowboat.
• Drink margarinemilk instead of buttermilk.
• Making low-carb "toast" is simple; just replace the slice of bread with something that's not bread.
• Like to eat when you're stressed out? Next time, try having an uncontrollable crying fit instead.
• If you're invited to a wedding, make a note when you RSVP that you'd appreciate them not serving cake because you're on a diet.
• Can't afford fresh fruit? Try dressing up like a gorilla and getting captured by a local zoo.
• If all the others runners in the marathon are wearing leather chaps and feathers, you may have accidentally stumbled into a "Gay Pride" parade.
• Tipping your personal trainer with a counterfeit $100 bill will ensure that your next session will be extra-intensive.
There are some good tips here - for example, I think I will stop eating black lettuce; I thought the rule was that the darker the color, the more antioxidants were present . . . and the slimy . . .er, slippery [?] texture meant I needed less dressing. But I guess it tasted terrible because, in fact, it was past its prime. So thanks for that . . . Still, my favorite tip is this one:
ReplyDelete"If all the others runners in the marathon are wearing leather chaps and feathers, you may have accidentally stumbled into a "Gay Pride" parade."
Good to keep in mind . . .
So where can I rent a gorilla suit?? :)
ReplyDeleteFor the record, swishing at a gay pride parade burns calories and strengthens the core.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason I read margarinemilk as margaritamilk. I was gonna look for a recipe!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't find a rowboat with two poles. I found a rowboat with two germans though.
ReplyDeleteYou can have that one for free.
I'm available for birthdays, weddings, childrens parties and bar mitzvahs.
Or mix them up - a gorilla suit AND a Gay Pride marathon!
ReplyDeleteHold the toast! ;D
Thanks for sharing the weight loss tips, it's really useful. weight loss is not easy but with the help of balance diet and regular exercise it will possible.
ReplyDeletedapoxetine