Thursday, September 8, 2011

Running List of Tips

• Don't worry that you might look ridiculous when you're out running; I can assure you that you DO look ridiculous.

• Don't forget to put on your shin splints before running.

• Find what motivates YOU to run; for me, it's when somebody says "I think the security guard saw you shove that down your pants."

• If you're running at night on a busy street, remember to make sure your life insurance premiums are paid up.

• If you're just getting started, start slowly, maybe just 10 minutes or so of running your mouth.

• Now that I'm running, please be aware that it is no longer "hilarious, dude" to throw empty beer cans  out the car window at joggers.

• After each run, I like to stretch my muscles and the truth about how far/fast I went.

• It's important not to get dehydrated on long runs, so consider wearing a hydration pack or carrying a bucket of water balloons.

• You can find a lot of reflective accessories at the running supply store in the "Dorkwear" department.

• They say that no matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch; well, I guess they haven't seen my newest invention: the Sofa-Mobile. BEEP BEEP! Look out, slowpoke. Sofa-Mobile coming through!


  1. "You never know when a bear will start chasing you at about a 10 min/mile pace and then give up after 3.1 miles."

  2. Just remember, zombies hate fast food.

  3. Ooohh nice, I'm gonna start bringing water balloons.

  4. I used to say I ONLY RUN IF CHASED.
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