Monday, September 19, 2011

Things I Hope Are Heard At My Funeral

• “I don’t know what’s more surprising, that he was the world’s oldest man or that he broke the record by so many years.”

• “Damn, that is one fit corpse!”

• “Look, he’s moving. JACK’S NOT REALLY DEAD!”

• “I really regret lending Mr. Sh*t all that money now…”

• “See those jeans he’s being buried in? 32 inch waist!”

• “Did you see his last Facebook status? All it said was “Somebody’s having party with bright white light and a bunch of angels singing. I’m gonna go bitch them out!”

• “Twitter is having an ‘140-character’ moment of silence in honor of Jack.”

• “I guess Brad Pitt’s here because he played Jack in the movie.”

• “I’m just glad we ironed out the cloning process before he kicked the bucket.”

• “Damn… I miss his blog already.”


  1. Love it!! Only you can make me laugh reading a post about a funeral!!

  2. R I P - Really Inspirational Poster ;-)

  3. Jack Sh*t -
    Putting the FUN in funerals again!

  4. Yes, better to create years of material and schedule it to post posthumously. Or, better yet, just don't die, k?

    To many more years and many more posts from JackFit!



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