Friday, September 23, 2011

Tip Tip Tooray! More Weight-Loss Tips!

• Listen to your body, except when it's saying "Hey buddy! How's about a bag of them there Cool Ranch Doritos?"

• Some gyms will let you work out for free if your friend creates a large enough diversion.

• To make yourself drink more water, remember this little saying that mother otters tell baby otters: "Be a good little otter and drink your water like you oughta." What? Yes, I know that otters aren't capable of human speech. I was just making a point about drinking more water. Geez Loiuse!

• When you salt food, use something besides salt.

• Yesterday's tomorrow is today's today. I don't see how that pertains to anything but I like to take any opportunity I can to BLOW YOUR MIND.

• Cook with extra-virgin olive oil instead of that whorish peanut oil.

• Taking up "fake smoking" lets you stretch your legs and get outside several times a day without all the health risks associated with regular smoking.

• Sitting is really detrimental to your weight-loss plans, which is why my blog is often filled with quickly scribbled weight-loss "tips". Back to the gym!


  1. Whorish Peanut Oil??!!! Seriously, Jack, tears are streaming down my face because I'm laughing so hard; my boss just peeked in my office to see what's wrong...

  2. I'm with Angela. Your "Cook with extra-virgin olive oil instead of that whorish peanut oil" nearly had me spewing my coffee. Hilarious! :D

  3. I am still cooking with whoregano!

  4. I like peanut oil. But, I have always had a thing for whores...

  5. Thanks for sharing the weight loss tips, balance diet with regular exercise will help to lose the weight natrually.

  6. Dieting is not enough to lose significant weight, so you would have to participate in physical activities. The best thing to do is start with something simple, like running around the block or walking briskly for 30 minutes each day. The important thing is to keep your heart rate to burn more calories in the process. After a few weeks to get used to an active lifestyle, you can switch to something more structured like to go to the gym and work with a coach.



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